


Sacrifice

by Not_So_Mundane_After_All_97



Series: The White Raven [2]
Category: Titans (TV 2018)
Genre: And other stuff I won't spoil, Christmas, Domestic Fluff, Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Platonic Relationships, Team as Family, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:02:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 55,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28314246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not_So_Mundane_After_All_97/pseuds/Not_So_Mundane_After_All_97
Summary: Five months after overcoming a supernatural desease that almost took Rachel's life, the Titans prepare for spending Christmas at the Wayne Manor. But just when everything seems to be going perfect, an unusual creature starts haunting Dick, bringing him new wave of nightmares about losing his daughter. Are those dreams just simple dreams or maybe they mean something more? Should he do something about it? Will he let them alter other important decisions he's planning to make this year?Sequel to "Purification"
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson & Donna Troy, Dick Grayson & Koriand'r & Garfield Logan & Raven, Dick Grayson & Rachel Roth, Dick Grayson & Raven, Dick Grayson/Koriand'r
Series: The White Raven [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2073660
Comments: 40
Kudos: 45





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!!!  
> Yes, your eyes are fine, this is real.  
> I didn't think I would write it either but here I am. When I wrote Purification, I considered it a closed story. But the more I was coming back to it, the more I thought that maybe I could do something more with it. But since the idea for what is now Part 1 came to accidentally, expanding this story on purpose is way harder. I'll be posting once a week to give myself some more time, because it's not finished yet and right now I'm at a point where I don't really know where to go even though I know where I want to get with this story. There's a "hole" in the story I'm struggling to fiill, but I'm posting it today anyway because I hope your amazing energy will kick me out of my writer's block.  
> To those of you who know the story and loved it - thank you so much and WELCOME BACK!  
> And to those who are here for the first time - if you want to read this, I highly recommend reading Purification first as it's a direct link to this story, the two parts are tightly connected.  
> Well, here's chapter 1 and I'll see you next week with chapter 2  
> ENJOY!

Complete darkness surrounds him as far as he can see. He stands in the center of total emptiness, no sound, no smell reaches him. It feels like he's the only existing matter in the universe. He doesn't understand it, while at the same time being fully aware that it's not really happening.

But the flapping of wings that reaches his ears a moment later is absolutely _real_.

Even in a dream, his senses - strengthened by years of training - notice a new presence before his mind even registers a sound. It comes from everywhere and from nowhere at once, but as he cannot see anything in front of his eyes, he has no choice but to turn around.

A casket.

Made of polished oak wood, lined with white velvet, it stands on a dais a few steps away. Its lid is opened and a white raven sits on the edge of it, staring at him with red eyes as if it's calling for him.

He can't move. Fear glues his feet to the ground, holding him in its claws like a vice. His breathing speeds up and his throat dries up like it's filled with desert sand. Because even though every nerve in his body screams at him that _this isn't real_ , logic telling him that it's just his imagination, he knows what - _who_ \- he will see inside. And he does not want to. He can't. No way.

The bird unexpectedly makes a loud squawk, piercing the silence like a cannon shot. Flapping its wings, it flies off the lid and sits down on the edge of the box, right where the head should be. It examines its contents for a moment, then starts pecking without warning, greedily plunging its beak into the flesh.

 _Hey, what are you doing? Stop it!_ words break out of his chest and in a few strides he's already at the casket, waving the bird away with his hand. The animal flies away, but he doesn't follow it with his eyes because his attention is already elsewhere.

He could say she's just asleep. Her eyelids are closed, her cheeks are marked with a pale shade of pink, and the shadow of a smile dances on her lips. Her clasped hands rest gently on her stomach, with a bouquet of white roses tucked between her fingers. The soft waves of her black and blue hair frame her head like an angelic halo and the red jewel on her forehead shines with its own inner glow.

She almost looks like Snow White, enchanted in eternal sleep, and only a kiss of true love is powerful enough to wake her up. Hope blooms suddenly in his heart and a smile spreads across his lips as the realization hits him. Because what is a parent's love for their child, if not exactly this? He can do it, he can _save her_.

So he puts his hand to her cold cheek and is already bending down, ready to press his lips to her forehead when this damn bird reminds him of its presence again. This time the raven tries to chase him away instead and then flies down on her chest. It takes a few steps towards her head, jumps from her shoulder to the pillow, and starts pecking furiously again. Only now does he see that the animal's goal is not the flesh at all, but the gemstone, like it wanted to pick it out, separate it from the body.

He tries to chase it away again, but this time it doesn't help. All the raven does in response is fluff its white feathers and continue its current task.

Something crashes onto his head - once, twice, three times - and he realizes with horror that more birds have come, showed up out of nowhere. A flock of black ravens perch on all sides of the casket, some of them attack him by pecking his hands and scratching at him with their talons to make room for themselves. The albino one - much larger and far more majestic than the rest of the herd - gives way to its brothers and once again sits on the lid of the casket, watching everything from above. And the rest of them lunges at her like she's a carrion, and neither waving his hands nor screaming can drive them away. Birds are ferocious and cruel, they don't know mercy.

His gaze goes back to her face and he struggles to suppress a sob that rises in his chest.

 _I'm sorry_ he whispers, but his words disappear in the flapping of wings and incessant croaking. He reaches out to touch her one last time, and then her eyes snap open - but they are not warm and blue like the ones he knows so well, but red like glowing coals. And right above them, on her forehead, there's another pair, just as cold and cruel. Her head tilts to the side at a frighteningly slow pace, and all four eyes turn to him, stopping him in place. The corners of her lips rise in a contemptuous smile and she says something - or tries to, but no sound comes out of her throat.

He tries to read it from her lips, analyze the movement and catch the words, but before he can fully absorb the meaning, the white raven takes flight, pointing its red eyes and sharp claws right at his face.

* * *

His body reacts faster than his mind and Dick shots up, panting heavily while the flapping of birds' wings still rings in his ears. The sheets are tangled around his legs and sweat covers his hair, neck, back, and bare torso. His heart is pounding like it's going to break through his ribs while his lungs give the impression that there isn't enough room for the air he is trying to breathe in so greedily.

For a moment he feels like he's still there, in this… _void_ , but as soon as his eyes adjust to the darkness, Dick recognizes the outlines of his bedroom. By his side he senses a movement and turns, his gaze falling on Kory, who lies with her back to him and stirs in her sleep, but doesn't wake up. She didn't even notice that Dick was having a bad dream.

"Right. It was a dream." he whispers to himself, trying to help logic overcome his irrational fear. "Just a stupid nightmare."

Taking care not to wake up his girlfriend, he slowly gets out of bed and heads to the bathroom. He flinches and squints his eyes at the sudden flash of harsh light, half-blindly searching for the control panel with his hand, then lowers the brightness level to 30 percent.

He winces as he looks at his face in the mirror, pale and tired, as if he hasn't slept in days. It had been a long while since the last time nightmares had brought him to this state, he thought he was at peace with it now. Ignoring the haunted look in his eyes, he focuses on getting himself cleaned up.

The icy water gives relief, but only for a while. Dick has to stop himself from stuffing his whole head under the open faucet. Occupying his thoughts elsewhere causes his breathing to calm down, but his heart continues to rage. He could go back to bed, but he knows it won't help. There is no sleeping for the rest of the night, no question.

And there's only one way to help him calm down.

* * *

As expected, Rachel is in her bedroom, deeply asleep. The sight of her curled up form, covered up right under her chin, with only the top of her head sticking out beyond the edge of the quilt almost knocks him off his feet. The feeling of relief is so overwhelming that Dick has to lean against the doorframe for a moment.

"See? She's fine." He breathes out to himself after taking a huge haul of air, then shakes his head at his own idiocy of talking to himself and steps deeper into the room. He sits down on the edge of her bed, his hand instinctively traveling to her face, fingertips stroking her delicate cheek and brushing her hair behind her ear. As her warm breath hits his skin Dick lets another puff of air out of his lungs with a smile and his body relaxes, letting go of the last of his fear.

Rachel's here. Safe and sound. No headaches, no bloody coughing fits, no black veins covering her body. Everything is fine.

Almost five months have passed. Just like he predicted, the nightmares clung to him like life-sucking leeches. His mind had been recreating the worst moments of that hellish week, especially the one when her heart stopped beating and her body went limp in his arms. Her painful screams constantly rang in his ears for weeks.

For the first month or two, he practically lived in her bedroom. Rachel had nightmares too, but they were much less intense and not as vibrant as his own. He also became more overprotective, and there were times when other teammates had to remind him not to overdo it and give her a room to breathe.

Dick knew Rachel was sick of this. He almost never let her go anywhere alone, he gave her a head start in training while lowering the level of it at the same time, explaining that she was not yet in her full strength (which was a lie, because she obviously was). He personally supervised the development of her new abilities, which appeared shortly after returning to the world of the living. She hated this control, but she did not object even once, because when the sky turned dark she was the one comforting him when he woke up from night terrors with her name on his lips, much more often than the other way around. After such nights she did everything he'd asked of her without a word, no matter how ridiculous or unnecessary it was and let him follow her everywhere like a shadow. She understood that it helped him, that it was his way of coping with what happened and was willing to bear it for as long as necessary.

It took both of them a long time to recover from this. It wasn't easy, but it worked. Over time the nightmares disappeared, Rachel was still in good health, and Dick no longer had panic attacks whenever she was out of his sight.

So what was this dream about then? What prompted it?

Rachel moves with low grunts escaping her mouth. Feeling the familiar touch of his hand on her cheek, she turns her head and opens her eyes slightly.

"What…?" she asks weakly, still half asleep. Dick immediately leans over her, drawing her attention to him.

"Shh, it's just me, baby." he whispers. "Sleep."

"Dick?" she raises herself a bit on her elbow, frowning in dismay. "Something happened?"

He smiles soothingly at her, his hand still cupping her face.

"No, nothing. Don't worry, lay down."

But his light tone doesn't fool her, so she covers his hand with her own as her barely conscious eyes fill with concern.

"Nightmares again?"

Dick sighs. He can't lie to her.

"Yeah."

"But I thought-"

"Me too." he interrupts her, his thumb brushing a slow pathway across her cheek. "But it's okay, I'm fine now. It's just a one time thing, I guess. You can go back to sleep."

He gently pushes her back onto her pillow and adjusts the quilt around her. However, Rachel keeps her eyes fixed on his face the whole time.

"You sure?"

"I'm sure." he confirms, then leans down to kiss her forehead. "Sleep, my little girl."

"Okay." she mumbles, curling up into a ball again. "Love you."

"Love you too, Rach." he replies, but he's not sure if she heard him, because her eyes are already closed and she's breathing deeply, out like a light.

Having no other choice, Dick goes back to his bedroom and slips back into bed. Kory is still asleep, having no idea of his brief absence. He feels calmer, his heart no longer tries to break out of his chest and his breathing has returned to normal. But when he lies down on the pillow, eyes staring at the ceiling, all he can think of is a pair of red, dangerously glowing eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Preperations for Christmas trip are in motion. Rachel notices there's something quite off in Dick's recent behavior but she can't figure out what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELCOME TO CHAPTER 2!  
> I'm so happy you guys are excited for this!  
> This one is full of pure family fluff with a sprinkle of Dickkory on top  
> (and maaaaaaaybe some other hints but hush I didn't say anything)  
> I hope you enjoy and I see you next Friday with chapter 3!

The very busy morning makes the strange dream evaporate from his mind. There is no time to think about it with so many other things on his head.

Bruce invited the Titans to spend Christmas with him at Wayne Manor this year. Originally the entire team was supposed to go, but then Rose and Jericho announced they will be spending the holidays with Adeline, and Clark was taking Conner to Smallville. Donna was currently in Paris and Hank and Dawn had gone to visit Dawn's sister the day before but had promised to make it to Gotham for New Year's Eve. So in the end, the only people the private jet will be waiting for in two hours were Dick, Kory, Gar, and Rachel.

The Tower is in complete chaos. Packing has been postponed until the morning (by some at least), using a week full of fighting crime as an excuse, so now the kids are running back and forth around the halls, picking up random stuff while Kory is trying to make a quick breakfast. Gar with a handful of his clean laundry almost crashes into Dick in the hallway just as he returns from the tech room after setting up all the alarms and security protocols. The rest of the coffee in his mug almost lands on the boy's bright green hair.

"Sorry!" Gar just shouts over his shoulder and moments later disappears behind his bedroom door, leaving Dick pressed into the wall.

"Hey, it's not a highway!" he calls after him but it's honestly pointless, then turns and shakes his head as he starts walking towards the kitchen.

"I told them yesterday to start packing early and not leave everything until the last minute." The red-haired woman sighs as she puts a plate of bacon and scrambled eggs before him when he sits down on a stool by the kitchen island.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Another voice cuts in just as he's about to take the first bite and after a moment Rachel emerges from the hallway, dragging a small black suitcase on wheels with her. She approaches them and ostentatiously places the luggage in front of herself. "But I  _ am _ packed."

Dick can't help but chuckle at the gleam in her eyes as she tries to challenge Kory's words. Then her gaze falls on him, and he could swear he sees a hint of concern in her eyes. She must remember that he came to check on her during the night. So he tries to soothe her worries with an even bigger smile and it looks like Rachel is buying it because a second later she's already standing behind him with her hands wrapped around his neck and giving him a sweet kiss on his cheek, then just as quickly moves along with a smile to get something to drink.

"Oh really?" Kory questions her, turning and crossing her arms over her chest. Rachel leans against the counter and nods before taking a sip of orange juice. "Did you take your training clothes?"

"Yes."

"The suit and most basic weapons?"

"Yup."

"A math textbook and at least one spell book?"

"Kory, it's Christmas!" Rachel protests loudly, but seeing the woman's raised eyebrow she cowers and mumbles with a pout on her lips. "Yeah, it's all packed."

Kory stares at the girl for a moment longer with her brows furrowed.

"Good." she finally says and then turns back to clean up after cooking. Meanwhile, Dick does his best not to burst out laughing, because then that Tamaran fire will be directed at him. But he has to admit that the scene he just witnessed really was priceless.

"Oh, and one more thing." Kory suddenly turns again, just as Rachel is about to scurry out of the kitchen. "What about those two dresses and shoes we bought last week? Did you pack them as well, or are the bags still stuffed under your bed?"

Rachel freezes next to him and gives a startled glance at first to him, then to Kory and finally to her suitcase. Within seconds, her surprise turns into a look of realization, which in turn mixes with irritation. The girl drops her head in defeat and releases a low growl, then quickly walks over to her luggage.

"Damn it!" she swears, grabbing the handle. "Well, apparently I'm  _ not _ actually packed yet."

Kory's mouth stretches into a smirk that says  _ I knew it _ , and all Dick can offer is a bit of sympathy hidden behind an awkward smile. Nobody in this household wants a confrontation with Mama Bear Kory Anders.

"I'll be right back…" Rachel sighs, then turns and starts walking in the direction she came from, muttering something under her breath about why the hell would she need two dresses. As soon as she and her suitcase disappear around the corner, Dick gets up from his chair and slowly walks over to Kory to put his arms around her waist and hug her from behind.

"Don't you think you're being a little bit too strict?" he asks, but not for real, he just wants to mess with her. She quickly turns in his arms to smack him in the face with the towel in response.

"Because you're spoiling her!" she argues, before going back to cleaning the pan. Then, muttering to herself, she adds. "Her  _ and _ Gar."

"Is someone jealous?" he asks teasingly, leaning in to kiss her neck. Kory involuntarily tilts her head back to give him better access as her body shivers from pleasure, but after a moment she comes to her senses and tries to wriggle out of his embrace.

"No." she denies and wants to break free once more, which only makes Dick's grin even bigger and he tightens his grip, pulling her closer. "But  _ somebody _ has to be in charge from time to time."

"But I  _ am _ in charge! I lead this team!"

"Mhmm. Maybe." Kory shrugs, pouting her lips, then slowly smiles back at him mischievously. "But not always  _ this family _ ."

"You know what-" he pulls her to him and shuts her up with a kiss. It takes them a split-second to get lost in each other but before they both forget about the world around them, they are brought back to reality by the sound of someone's footsteps. They break away from each other reluctantly and turn around, expecting to see Rachel, but instead find Rose, who has stopped on her way to the elevator with her own travel bag over her shoulder.

"First of all - ew." she comments, pointing her finger at them, at which both he and Kory roll their eyes. "Second - you guys should get fucking married already or something."

Her words almost make his eyeballs fall out as he stares at her while Kory only bursts out laughing before saying.

"Have fun, you two!"

This wakes him from his trance, so he clears his throat, then adds:

"And say hi to Adeline from us!"

Rose nods, while Jericho uses their hands to sign "Of course."

"Merry Christmas and I'll see you in two weeks!" the girl says and then goes to the exit without waiting for an answer. Soon they hear a quiet  _ ding _ and she is gone.

The phone buzzes in his pocket. A notification that their plane will arrive in an hour. Dick sighs and puts the phone back in his jeans. The prospect of spending Christmas with Bruce for the first time in three years, after all that had happened, and also in the company of Kory and the kids, fills him with both excitement and anxiety.

"I'll go check how the packing is going." he announces and heads towards the hallway, hearing his girlfriend's approving hum behind him.

* * *

This isn't her first flight, but this time Rachel feels a little nervous boarding Bruce Wayne's exclusive private jet. The last plane she was on belonged to the Amazons, but nothing could compare to the luxury she now has in front of her - comfortable white leather armchairs and a couch, a polished wood table, a candy bar and a refrigerator with two bottles of expensive wine, and a huge flat screen TV with a game console (the latter probably installed here with Gar in mind) - all for a less than two hours journey.

Her green haired friend stands frozen beside her.

"Wow." he sighs, taking in everything with sparkling eyes, then leans towards her and whispers enthusiastically. "So this is how it feels to be a rich kid?"

"You better start getting used to it." they hear behind them and both turn to look at Dick's smiling face, while his hands land on their shoulders, pushing them forward slightly to take their seats.

"S-seriously?" Gar stutters surprised and when Dick nods, the boy rushes to the console with a shout of joy. Rachel chuckles as she follows him, rolling her eyes before collapsing onto the white couch and taking a book out of her backpack. Meanwhile, Dick takes a seat in his armchair and puts his laptop on the table, while Kory with her usual grace falls into the seat opposite him.

"It's very kind of Bruce to treat us so generously." she says, picking up one of the magazines lying on the counter.

"Rather pathetic." Dick snorts and leans back, crossing his arms. "He's doing to you what he did to me at the beginning."

"Which is…?" Kory quirks an eyebrow without even taking her eyes off the page.

"He's tricking you into liking him." he responds bluntly. "By trying to spoil you."

"You sound like you don't do it yourself."

"Because I don't."

"Yes, you do!" Gar and Rachel cut in at the same time, pausing their activities to look at him. Dick stares back at them for a few seconds, glancing from one to the other, then sighs heavily, giving up.

"Okay, fine." he admits. "Maybe I am spoiling you a bit. But not like that!"

Rachel laughs at his words.

"Do you want me to give you examples? I don't know if I have enough fingers to count them. I mean, look - the penthouse in San Francisco, our suits, new phones-"

"Don't forget it all started with that minivan!" Gar adds quickly.

"Right!" Rachel gasps, slapping her forehead theatrically as if she's just now remembered. "That old, rusty minivan! I miss the Porsche though, you know - sentiment and stuff-"

"Alright! Alright, you win-" Dick cuts in laughing and is about to say something more, but then the Captain's voice rings through the speakers, telling them to prepare for take-off and by that ending their conversation.

"Anyway, where's Donna?" Rachel asks casually as she moves to a different seat and fastens her seat belt. "I know she went to Paris, but I thought she would come back by now and go with us."

The plane shakes as it speeds up and takes off. But it only lasts a few seconds and after a while the machine aligns its course.

"As far as I know, we'll meet there - she's already in Gotham with Diana." Dick responds with a brief glance at her before focusing on his laptop screen. It's not lost on her that he set it up in such a way that neither she nor Gar or even Kory could see what was on the screen. She raises an eyebrow in dismay.

_ Less than a week left until Christmas. There's no way he's still looking for gifts for us. _

Gar's voice filled with a genuine mix of surprise and confusion interrupts her thinking.

"Wait - with  _ Diana _ ?" the boy asks, staring wide-eyed at Dick, then chuckles in uncertain disbelief. "You don't mean Wonder Woman, do you?"

"Yes, I do actually." Dick's eyes never leave the screen when he responds in such a blunt, bored way as if he's talking about weather, his fingers moving across the keyboard at lightning speed.

Looking at her friend, Rachel can safely say that his jaw is on the floor. The boy collapses into his armchair gasping in shock, the forgotten gamepad falls out of his hand. Fixing his sparkling gaze on her, he breathes out.

"Holy shit, Wonder Woman!"

Rachel rolls her eyes so hard she can almost see the back of her skull.

"Gar, we're part of a team of superheroes. We're spending Christmas at  _ Batman's house _ . We're basically a family with the founders of the Justice League. When will it stop surprising you?"

"Uh… never?" she hears in response before Gar turns back to his game, smiling like a madman, but he adds after a second. "Let me enjoy this moment, okay? You've already met her on Themyscira and don't act you weren't freaking out."

"I wasn't."

"Yeah, right."

She rolls her eyes again (she should get rid of that habit, it's making her dizzy). Gar is right, but it's not like she's going to admit it. 

The two adults laugh out loud, shaking their heads.

"Exactly." Dick sighs with an unreadable smile, stretching his hands so hard his finger joints pop, then dives back into what's in front of his eyes. "Basically a family."

Some strange note in his voice gets her attention again, but she decides to ignore it and goes back to her book. But she ends up staring blankly at the text-printed pages without reading a word because her thoughts continue to circulate.

Dick has been acting weird for some time now, a month or so. But not like when Slade Wilson tried to destroy their lives, and the guilt was slowly driving him insane. Rather, it was as if Dick was hiding a secret from them that he is eager to reveal, but at the same time he really enjoys keeping it to himself.

It started with long hours spent in front of the laptop, just like now. Lots of searching, reading, taking notes. Whenever she tried to ask him what was he working on, he would give her evasive answers, often saying it had something to do with one of their missions or his detective work. At the same time, trying to be as casual as possible, he tried to hide all the details from her - by changing the tab in the browser, "accidentally" closing his notebook or stuffing his notes under whatever he had at hand. She noticed this but didn't ask.

Then there were constant calls - the ones he had to leave the room to answer. At first, Rachel got scared - she had watched enough TV to know this was a clear sign of cheating. But first of all, Dick would  _ never _ do that to Kory. It just wasn't possible. But then Rachel calmed down when she saw that Kory doesn't mind it at all, sometimes even answering these phone calls for him when he's not around and having a polite little chat with the caller until Dick comes back. This way, Rachel realized that the person calling most often was Alfred Pennyworth, Bruce's old friend and butler.

The second theory that popped into her mind was that maybe Kory was pregnant - which would be absolutely amazing - and they were preparing something special for the official announcement. But that went out the window too when Rachel discovered Dick was hiding stuff from his own girlfriend as well. Surely she knew more than she or Gar did, but still not everything. Not to mention that Kory didn't act like she was pregnant either.

So it stood on Christmas gifts. Dick is a genius when it comes to giving them what they most want and need. They found out about the invitation to Gotham around the same time he started his mysterious project, so it was possible that he was just helping his father with Christmas shopping.

But they are on their way there right now, with very little time left until Christmas, and he seems to be more engrossed in his work than ever.

Rachel's head is already splitting from all these theories, giving her a headache. Moreover, the seeds of fear and worry start growing in her chest. It seems his nightmares are coming back. That's not good.

She can't help but shiver as she remembers him waking up almost every night in cold sweat, pale as white chalk, repeating her name through sobs shaking his body. How she sat on his lap and wiped away his tears, promising that she was okay, that she was here and he hadn't lost her. How she laid on his chest afterward, feeling his madly pounding heart under her ear, while his arms wrapped around her so tightly she could hardly breathe.

Her death nearly killed him, Rachel knows it. His sanity was already very fragile, so something as horrible as what happened to her five months ago could have wrecked him completely. If she didn't come back to life… she doesn't even want to think about it.

Everything went back to normal about two months ago. He still gets overprotective at times, but not as much as before. He has no trouble sleeping through the night, and neither does she.

And yet…

And yet last night she found him sitting beside her, ghastly pale, with dark circles under his eyes so deep it looked like he hadn't slept in days. He assured her that it was nothing, that everything was fine, but even through her drowsiness she could see how tense he was. How he was trying to mask his shallow, shuddering breathing. How his hand trembled when he stroked her cheek.

_ Maybe it was a one-time thing _ , she tries to convince herself.  _ This trauma will stay with us forever, it's inevitable for it to come back to us sometimes. _

She looks up at him now from the pages of the book. He is completely focused on his current task, his gaze flicking between his laptop screen and his phone. He looks absolutely normal, practically bursting with energy, and when Rachel strains her mind a little, setting her skills in motion, she can sense the nervous excitement inside of him. There is no sign of anything she should worry about.

So she goes back to reading, shaking off all these thoughts. She allows the flight to pass in peace and quiet and immerses herself in the story in her hands, for a moment forgetting about the world around her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next week: Gotham, Baby! And.... some other... stuff  
> SEE YA!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Wayne Manor is... impressive. And holds many sursprises...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELCOME TO CHAPTER 3!  
> I don't know really what to say about it because I don't want to spoil anything but it's fun and cute and FIRST IMPRESSIONS ARE CRUCIAL, RIGHT?
> 
> Also....
> 
> Decisions, decisions...
> 
> Hope you enjoy and see you next week with chapter 4!

A large black car awaits them at a private landing spot just outside Gotham. The landscape around them is gray and depressing, not even a thin layer of white snow covering the faded grass and leafless trees and shrubs can help it. The contrast with the warm and sunny San Francisco is so strong that it's hard to bear and Rachel, despite spending her childhood in the eternally gloomy and cold Traverse City, is acutely affected by the change in the temperature. It's much colder than what she got used to in the past year.

Severe frost and bitter wind do not threaten her for long though, because they quickly get into the car, while Dick and the driver take care of their luggage. She expects to see his friend Alfred, but the man behind the wheel is not much older than him. The two men shake hands while smiling politely and after taking care of their bags the car starts moving.

However, they don't go to the city, as Rachel initially assumed - there is a separate route leading to the Wayne Manor. The landscape doesn't change for a while - white fields, bald trees, suburbs looming in the distance, soon disappearing behind a wall of dark woods.

Then the outline of the property emerges from behind the trees in front of them and after a few minutes the car pulls up onto a wide driveway in front of the main entrance.

Neither Rachel nor Gar can take their eyes off the enormous, fortress-like building. Gray stone walls, high windows and long columns, combined with perfectly trimmed flower beds and greenery, full of color even at this time of the year, and a large fountain in the middle of the driveway surrounded by an oval pattern of a low hedge and several ornamental trees make the whole thing look like a castle.

"So you're telling me you grew up here?" Gar, without taking his eyes off the mansion, directs the question at Dick, who hands them their suitcases from the trunk.

"Yup."

"Wow, no way…"

_ You took it right out of my mouth _ , Rachel thinks, also struggling to comprehend everything around her. Dick had told her a lot about this place, so she did expect luxury, but what she has in front of her now is beyond her. To say she's really impressed would be an understatement.

"It's… nice here." Kory speaks after a moment, looking at everything with a critical eye. "Very… modest."

Rachel can't help but laugh out loud.

"Said the freaking princess."

The woman winks at her, smirking.

"I don't know why are you freaking out so much." Dick joins the conversation after he closes the trunk and walks over to them with his own bag over his shoulder. "It's just a house, nothing special. Now stop staring and let's go inside."

* * *

The interior is even more impressive. The entrance door opens onto a thunderous hall with grand staircases on either side, linked with a balcony towering over them. Various types of paintings hang on the walls lined with decorative wooden panels. Two entrances to what looks like a dining room or conference room from a distance are separated by a large fireplace. Christmas decorations adorn every surface imaginable - from garlands wrapped around a stair railing to Christmas tree decorations hanging from plants to green and red socks hanging on a fireplace - but it doesn't feel any bit exaggerated. Besides that there's a huge crystal chandelier looming over their heads, so high that both Rachel's and Gar's necks start to ache from pulling their heads up to look at it.

"Unbelievable." Rachel sighs in delight, looking around. She is well aware of Dick's gaze following her every move. Just like when they first arrived at the Tower, he's now watching her reaction, discreetly (or so he thinks) checking to see if what he has to offer suits her, as if it were some kind of a test or an exam and her opinion would determine whether Dick passes it or not. A wide smile blooms on her face so she turns to him and is just about to speak when suddenly two people appear at the top of the stairs and at the sight of them her nervousness returns in a heartbeat.

Bruce Wayne, dressed in what she thinks must be a very expensive suit, with a warm smile glued to his face, steps down to greet them.

"Merry Christmas everyone!" he says, spreading his hands. "And welcome. Hope your flight went well?"

"You didn't have to send a private jet to pick us up." Dick tells him as he passes them and approaches his father. He's not really mad about it though - his lips stretch in a pugnacious smile and there is a hint of amusement in his voice, which means he's just teasing him. Father and son share a heartfelt but short hug, and Bruce pats Dick on the shoulder as they turn to the rest of the group. Their host moves forward and first goes to Kory, taking her hand gently, then bows down and raises it to his mouth like a real gentleman.

"Kory." he says her name with a smile. "Beautiful as always."

The red-haired woman's face shows nothing but warm courtesy, but Rachel can swear that she saw the ends of her curls started glowing like burning coals for a moment.

"Hi Bruce."

"How is your kingdom doing, Your Majesty?" he asks politely, nodding his head in respect for her title. Bruce always likes to be informed, as Dick told them many times, so he obviously knows about the recent struggles with Kory's sister Blackfire and the current state of her home planet. Kory, as if on reflex instilled in her with court etiquette, responds the same.

"It's doing well, thank you."

Gar is next in line. The poor boy freezes in place, wide-eyed, when Mr. Wayne (The Batman himself) puts a hand on his shoulder and starts telling him how happy he is with his increasing progress in developing his powers.

"I turned into an elephant last week!" Gar blurts out, then immediately blushes when his own words reach him. If Bruce notices this, he doesn't seem to mind. Only his smile widens.

"Oh really?"

"Uh… yeah, I-" he starts to stutter, but manages to finish, now less enthusiastic. "I almost destroyed the training room. Dick wasn't happy."

Out of the corner of her eye, Rachel sees Dick lower his head and put a hand to his mouth to suppress a laugh.

"I can imagine." Bruce tells him, then leans a little closer and whispers to Gar. "Find a bigger room next time. I recommend the underground garage. You can also try it in the garden here."

Gar blinked twice, completely confused.

"Oh, okay… Thanks."

Then it's her turn, and Rachel can't help but hold her breath. This is not their first meeting - the first time she saw him was at this diner in Elko when he tried to reason with them and convince them to put their differences aside and reunite, just before she, Kory, Donna and Dawn found out that Dick was in prison.

Except it wasn't Bruce then, but Dick's personified subconscious that Rachel had somehow summoned. 

She doesn't know how she managed to do that. She tried to repeat it many times, but without success. This part of her powers still remains a mystery to her.

She didn't know the real Bruce until a few months ago, shortly after suffering this terrible disease, which her soul called purification. He rarely visited them, but he was in constant contact with Dick over the phone and was helping in finding a cure for her. He came once to see how she was doing and learn the details of her recovery in person.

His rough but gentle hand is now resting on the nape of her neck, his thumb brushing her cheek, and Bruce gives her an earnest smile.

"Nice to see you again, Rachel." he says in a warm voice. "I'm glad you feel good now. You look even better than the last time I saw you, and you were already in perfect health then. I hope your powers aren't causing you any more… trouble?"

She smiles back at him and relaxes, forgetting about the nerves that twist her stomach.

"No, not at all."

She must bite her tongue to not call him  _ sir _ like the last time. She just wanted to be polite, but he only laughed and said it wasn't necessary to call him that.

"So I guess you're not giving my son any more heart attacks, hmm?"

Her eyes wander back to Dick, who looks at her with his arms crossed over his chest and a soft smile on his face, the light of the chandelier reflecting in his brown eyes. Last night flies through her head, but she quickly pushes the memory aside. Bruce doesn't need to know about these nightmares, much less from her.

That is why she brings up her most mischievous smile to her face, squints her eyes and replies as if she was sharing a secret.

"Not the ones he didn't deserve."

Dick rolls his eyes at her comment while Bruce bursts out laughing and pats her gently on the cheek, then takes a few steps down the hall and turns to face everyone.

"Make yourself at home. Alfred will take you to your bedrooms, show you where you can unpack."

Only now does Rachel notice the other person who has joined them along with Bruce. A gray-haired man, older than the host, wearing a white buttoned up shirt, black vest and bow-tie, stands next to Dick and is reaching for his bag. His face is warm and earnest, and Dick smiles at him, patting him on the back as he hands him his luggage.

"Please follow me." He turns to them and Rachel catches a note of a foreign accent in his voice. Kind of British, but she's not sure. "I know the mansion seems extensive, but it's not far, I promise."

"There's no need to rush." adds Bruce. "In the meantime… Dick? Could you please join me in the lounge?"

_ You could maybe be more precise _ , Rachel thinks.  _ There's probably a dozen of these rooms here. _

"Go, I'll catch up with you later." Dick says and starts walking towards his father. He passes by her on his way and uses this moment to brush his hand over her back and lean in slightly to whisper in her ear.

"Don't go exploring without me."

Rachel giggles and nods enthusiastically, making Dick smile and give her a quick kiss on her temple, light as a gust of wind.

"Okay then. I'll see you soon."

* * *

As Dick and Bruce enter one of the lavishly furnished living rooms, two dark-haired women rise up from their seats on one of the brown leather couches.

"Dickie, it's so nice to see you!" Diana tells him with a smile, giving him a quick hug.

"Hi Diana." Dick replies with a laugh and returns the gesture. The woman steps back an arm's length, still keeping her hands on his shoulders, and gives him the same warm look as when he was 12. Her use of his childhood nickname further sharpens his memories of his first years under this roof, when he was just getting used to having superheroes as family members (just like Gar and Rachel today), and the legendary Wonder Woman became for him simply Aunty Diana.

And even though almost two decades have passed and he is now an adult and almost a head taller than her, he's still filled with the same happiness and excitement as when he was a child at the sight of her almost unchanged, young, vibrant and wise face.

"I'm so glad you finally made it!" she says, taking his arm and leading him into the room. "I can't wait to finally get to know the rest of the family officially, and Christmas is the perfect occasion for that."

She stops suddenly and turns to him, and though her smile widens, a shadow of concern flashes in her eyes. "And how is my new favorite student?"

Dick chuckles. While on Themyscira, Rachel was in Diana's care, which he personally requested. She was not only her guardian, but also a mentor and a teacher. They had formed a strong bond over the course of those few months, which Dick was delighted to see, especially since they also shared a common goal that they luckily achieved.

"Rachel is doing fine. Everything's okay."

"Thank the Gods she recovered. I was so worried." she sighs, but then relaxes again. "She must be very excited."

He nods.

"They all are. Especially Gar - when he heard that he's going to meet you-"

"Hey, wait a minute!" a familiar voice interrupts their conversation, and when Dick turns his head, he sees Donna coming up to them with that pugnacious grin of hers, glaring at them both. She stops by Diana's side.

"Are you saying I'm not your favorite student anymore?" she asks, eyes wide, her hand landing on her chest in a theatrical resentment. "You hurt me, mother."

Diana bursts out into a sonorous laugh.

"Oh, don't tell me you're jealous, honey."

"Honestly, I wouldn't put it past her." Dick adds, and Donna glares at him.

"Rude."

The corner of his lips rises slightly.

"Wouldn't be the first time."

"Shut up, Boy Wonder-"

"Children please! Not on Christmas!" Bruce interrupts their playful quarrel with a firm tone, but tinged with a hint of amusement. It wasn't his first time either - Bruce always finished what Dick and Donna started, always the same way. One word of his was enough to make them both shut up.

"This is supposed to be a time to celebrate together, not banter." he reminds them. "Especially since there's more than one reason to celebrate this year… Unless Dick has changed his mind."

Dick suddenly feels three pairs of eyes resting on him. Bruce crosses his gaze with him, making sure his son knows what he means. He clears his throat before answering.

"No, Bruce. I haven't changed my mind."

A proud smile appears on the older man's face, then he turns and goes to the desk by the window.

"That's good." he says, opening one of the drawers and taking out a sheaf of papers. "Because the documents are ready."

He walks over to him slowly and hands him two sets of documents. Taking them from him, Dick notices his hands are trembling and his heart is starting to pound wildly.

Here he is holding the effect of his long-term efforts and research. One of the best kept secrets of the last few months and, he hopes, one of the best Christmas gifts he has ever given someone.

Applications for official adoption - one for Gar and one for Rachel.

"Alfred and I have compiled all the documentation you need, both for you and the children." Bruce declares. "We have their birth certificates, biological family information, educational and medical records. We've also wiped out all evidence of their supernatural powers and origin from official knowledge. No one knows about Trigon, Angela or Caulder and no one ever will."

"Thank you." Dick breathes out, staring at the pages like they're nothing but an illusion.

But they are real. He's really going to do it.

He's going to adopt Rachel and Gar.

The idea came to him last year, shortly after returning to San Francisco. Seeing that Gar and Rachel were content with this new, better life, he began to think about what he could do to make it stay that way. For the first time since he met them, both kids seemed to be genuinely happy. Back then he applied to only become their legal guardian, but he did it more out of necessity, its benefits and facilitations, and it doesn't hold the same legal (or emotional) power as a real adoption.

He struggled with his own thoughts for a long time. He wasn't sure if he should do it or if he's fit to be a real father. Yes, maybe because of him the fate of these two changed for the better, but he was also the cause of their many tears. He made countless mistakes. The iron hand of guilt tightens its icy fingers on his throat every time he remembers how he had abandoned Rachel, each time telling himself she would be better off with others than with him, when really he was afraid of responsibility. Or how he nearly killed Gar under Trigon's control. He may have been possessed then, but it was _his_ _eyes_ that stared into the boy's terrified eyes, it was _his hand_ that lifted him in the air and crushed his throat. He will bear the price for these mistakes for the rest of his life - he will pay it every time he sees the fear in Rachel's eyes at the thought of him leaving her. Every time Gar unconsciously flinches under his touch.

When he shared his thoughts with Kory, she supported him immediately. He had never seen her so happy about anything before. Donna thought it was a good idea too and shut his mouth as soon as he began to express his doubts. Dawn gave him that warm, soothing smile of hers when he told her, reminding him that she knew it would end this way the moment he appeared with Rachel by his side at her doorstep in Washington. But even replaying their conversation from that day over and over again - about how taking Rachel in is a big responsibility and how healing it must be, doing the same thing Bruce did for him - didn't convince him.

Then Rachel fell seriously ill. Life was draining out of her like air from a balloon. Gar tried to put on a brave face, but he was terrified and shut himself down perhaps even more than after what happened in Ohio. Dick has suffered a lot in his life, but those days, when they didn't know what to do or what's gonna happen next were the worst.

He remembered Gar finally breaking under the pressure of fear and crying against his chest.

He remembered Rachel calling him  _ dad _ with her last breath before she went limp in his arms. He was convinced then that it was the first and the last time.

But then a miracle happened - she came back. He got her back, even though he thought he had lost her forever.

That's when he made the decision.

He doesn't want them to just be his wards. His students, members of his team. He wants them to be _his_ _kids_. He wants to be able to call Rachel his daughter and Gar his son. More than anything.

So he turned to Bruce. Because Bruce has been through this before, with him, and he knows the process. And because he was the only one who could understand his conflicted thoughts and offer some real advice.

People say you don't need papers to be a family. However, there is something final, something binding and inseparable in the formality these documents provide. The process is long and difficult, but the end result is worth it.

Dick runs his thumb over the blank space where Rachel's signature is supposed to appear. That's all the kids have to do for now - sign it.

But will they agree?

"Dick? Are you listening?"

Bruce's voice pulls him out of the rush of his own thoughts.

"What? Sorry, I guess I spaced out a bit."

"Obviously." the man acknowledges, giving him an amused look. "I asked if you talked to the lawyers yet?"

"Uh, yeah." he confirms. "Last week."

"And social workers?"

"I had a meeting three days ago. The next one is set after the New Year, preferably with the kids."

Bruce smiles and puts a hand on his shoulder. It is unexpectedly lightweight.

"So now all that's left for you to do is ask them."

He pats him on the nape of his neck, then walks away to pour some Brandy for his guests from a crystal decanter on the table in the center of the room.

Donna wraps her arms around Dick's neck from behind and looks over his shoulder to peer at the front page.

"About damn time." she tells him, squeezing him lightly. "I'm so proud of you, little brother."

He tilts his head to meet her eyes - her gaze confirms her words. Not for the first time a wave of happiness floods him at the thought of getting her back from a grip of death - another miracle in his twisted life.

"Thanks, Donna."

"It looks like we have an eventful week ahead of us." Diana announces as Bruce hands her a glass of golden liquor. "I understand the kids don't know yet?"

"No, they don't." Dick replies, smiling again. Somehow he can't stop smiling these days. "The only person who knows things are already in the motion is Kory."

"Speaking of Kory-" Donna breaks away from him and digs her hand in one of the pockets in her black leather jacket. She pulls out a small, black velvet box. "I am pleased to announce that my mission in Paris has been successful."

Dick opens his eyes in amazement. He puts the papers down on the table and walks over to her, noticing Bruce and Diana exchanging excited glances out of the corner of his eye.

"You have it?"

"Mhmm." she tosses the box in the air like it's a ball and catches it, making Dick lose his breath for a moment. "It cost more money than we assumed it would, but that's how those fancy auctions work. Besides… No price is too high when there's a queen's hand in question."

She places the object in his hand and crosses her arms over her chest, smiling at him with her head tilted slightly to one side. Dick holds his breath and slowly, carefully lifts the lid.

Pictures don't reflect its true beauty. A double thin gold band, topped with a four-carat pear-shaped amethyst. The deep purple stone is crowned with a tiara of small one carat diamonds.

Yes, Donna is right - it is an engagement ring worthy of a queen.

"Are you sure it will fit?" the question falls from his lips before he can stop himself. In response, Donna raises her hand and wiggles her fingers in front of his eyes, showing off her own ring - one from Kory's collection.

"For sure. I measured."

"How- you didn't ask her, did you?"

Donna laughs and puts her arm around him.

"Relax, you idiot. Girls share jewelry, you know? So I borrowed one. Believe me - the lucky girl has no idea."

Dick can't help but breathe out a sigh of relief, causing the other three to laugh again.

This is another decision he made recently. He's sure that Kory is the one. Perhaps he was sure from the moment he met her. He has never felt for anyone what he feels for Kory, he can't even put it into words - which is a problem because he will have to say something when he finally asks her to marry him. Besides, Gar and Rachel not only need a father but also a mother - and that's what they see in the red-haired princess from an alien planet. They love her as much as he does.

"So what's the plan?" Bruce asks and hands him a glass of Brandy while Dick hides the box in his pocket. "Care to share?"

He chuckles softly and rubs the back of his neck with his hand, suddenly nervous.

"I, uh… The kids will get the documents as Christmas presents, but on Christmas Eve, after dinner. I won't wait with this until morning when they're distracted by other gifts. And Kory… I'll ask her on New Year's Eve."

Diana smiles, tears gleaming in her eyes. Bruce's expression takes away Dick's speech - he could count on the fingers of one hand the number of times his adoptive father looked so proud of him. The three people gather around him, all with their drinks in hand.

"To get down on one knee when the clock strikes twelve." Donna sighs and gives him an admiring look. "How romantic."

Dick rolls his eyes.

"Shut up."

"Seriously!" his sister assures him. "You have no idea how happy I am for you. The four of you became family  _ the second _ your paths crossed. It's time to finally formalize it."

"Donna is right." Diana adds, then raises her glass to the toast. The rest follow her example. "It seems to me that it's going to be an unforgettable Christmas."

Four tempered glasses collide with each other, making a soft cling echo around the room. The wooden logs are burning in the fireplace and the snow starts to slowly fall again outside the windows.

Dick smiles to himself, glancing at the documents as he pats the box in his pocket with his fingers.

_ Yes, it will be an unforgettable Christmas _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YUP! BIG CHANGES COMING TO THE GRAYSON FAMILY!!!  
> I made a little contest on Tumblr and asked my mutuals and others to pick a ring which for them screams Kory Anders. The one described here (number 8) was the most common choice so it won and you can check out the picture on my blog (I'll try to add a link here later)  
> As for this other decision.... Well, if you know me, you KNOW I will push that adoption anywhere I can.
> 
> Now the question is.... 🤔🤐 no, nevermind.
> 
> You'll find out soon 😉
> 
> SEE YA!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trip around the house and a strange visitor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELCOME TO CHAPTER 4!  
> This one is cute and fluffy but it doesn't mean it's not pushing the story further.  
> I am writing chapter 8 atm and I have a feeling this will be at least 10 chapters long.  
> Enjoy and see you next week with chapter 5!

Sitting on the bed in his old bedroom, Dick can't stop staring at the ring. He turns the square box in his hands, watching the golden light from the bedside lamp reflect in the gemstones. The amethyst shimmers with shades of deep purple, Kory's favorite color - that's one of the reasons he chose it.

Adoption papers lay neatly folded together on the bedside table. He glances at his slightly lopsided signature on the front page made with a trembling hand and smiles. Two such small things - an element of jewelry and a few sheets of paper printed with legal jargon - and yet thanks to them his entire life will change.

Dick sets the ring box down beside the papers, then leans forward and runs his hands through his hair, breathing deeply.

"Am I really doing this?" he whispers to himself.

At the sound of a knock on the door, he gathers himself up, quickly putting the documents in a drawer and pushes the ring under the mattress of the bed.

"Come in!"

The door opens slightly with a well-known creak, and a small head of black-and-blue curls emerges from the gap, at the sight of which his heart always spins with joy.

"Hey, there you are!" Rachel says smiling, then opens the door wider and walks into the room. "We were wondering how long is it gonna take you on this family council meeting or whatever it was. Gar was betting that we won't see you until tomorrow."

Dick chuckles, shaking his head. God, these kids really are his entire world.

"I thought so, too." he says and pats the remaining empty space on the bed, signaling her to sit next to him. Rachel's smile widens and a second later she jumps on the spot beside him. "How did you know where to find me, anyway?"

"I heard you coming in." she shrugs. "My bedroom is right across the hallway."

"Really?"

"Mhmm." she nods, then her eyes narrow into suspicious slits, the corner of her mouth rising slightly. "I guess this is  _ not _ a coincidence."

Understanding what she implies, dragging his all too well known overprotectiveness, Dick raises his hands defensively, though he can't help but grin wider.

"Hey, why are you looking at me?"

"Because I know you!"

"I had nothing to do with this, I swear!"

Both of them burst out into a furious laugh.

"I know, I'm just messing with you." Rachel admits and nudges his arm with her elbow, then she drops on the bed with a sigh, lying on her back and folds her hands on her stomach. Dick looks at her for a moment, once again wondering what had he ever done in his life to deserve her, then joins her and lies down on the soft, satin sheets.

"So… this is your childhood bedroom, huh?" Rachel asks, glancing around the room.

"Yup."

"Is it weird? Coming back here?"

He thinks for a moment before answering.

"Kind of. But a little less each time."

They just lie in silence for a few minutes, shoulder to shoulder. Their breaths synchronize as they both point their eyes up at the countless scratches and cuts in the ceiling, made over the years by Dick throwing his shurikens whenever he was bored. His mind wanders back to the documents hidden in the bedside cabinet. How will Rachel react? She should be happy, right? After all, it's a legal assurance that he will never leave her again. But he can't shake the damn fear that twists his insides at the thought of Rachel not wanting it. Declining. He doesn't want to admit it even to himself, but the truth is, he's scared. An annoying voice whispers in his head that he has lost this case a long time ago - the first time he tried to run away from her.

Rachel rolls onto her side to face him, folding her hands under her cheek. Dick turns his head to her and smiles at the sight, thinking that his little girl possibly couldn't be more adorable.

"Dick?"

"Yeah?"

"About last night… Are you sure that dream was a one-time thing?"

He releases a long, deep exhale, his chest flattening. There's worry hidden behind her blue eyes and fear ringing in her soft voice. He figured she'd ask him about this nightmare of his as soon as she has the chance. He's silent for a moment, but then he turns so they can lay face to face, staring into each other's eyes, and lifts his hand to brush an unruly strand of hair from her forehead.

"I'm sure."

She doesn't look really convinced. She moves a bit closer and, after a moment's hesitation, asks another question.

"What was it about?"

The memory of the nightmare makes his heart stop in his throat. Shivers run down his back as the screeching of those damn birds echoes in his ears again. He considers for a moment not telling her, but quickly gives up and dismisses the idea.

"A sight that, thank God, I didn't have to see in real life." he admits. "You- your body in a casket."

Rachel looks down, visibly saddened. She pulls her knees to her chest and curls up into a ball, as if she were trying to keep the sadness from getting out this way.

"I'm sorry." she whispers at last. Dick feels his heart breaking like fragile glass. He reaches out with his arm and wraps it around her waist.

"Honey, it's not your fault." he assures her, pulling her closer. She instantly cuddles up to his chest, snuggling her face under his chin.

"Then why does it feel like it is?"

Dick knows too damn well what it's like to take the blame for something you have no control over and yet he has no idea what to say to that.

"Don't worry about it, please." he mumbles only into her hair and presses his lips to her forehead. "I'm fine. You're here, alive and well. It was just a dream, okay?"

Rachel raises her head to meet his eyes, looking for confirmation in his gaze and Dick can only hope she found it. After a long pause, she nods, a faint smile spreading across her face.

"Okay."

"Now come on." he says, leaping up from the bed and grabbing her hand to pull her with him.

"What? Where?"

"I'm pretty sure dinner is ready." he informs her. "Donna and Diana are already here, we can't stop Gar from meeting another one of his idols any longer."

Rachel's face brightens at the mention of her mentor.

"Diana's here?"

"Mhmm. And she's already been asking about you."

Rachel stops at the door.

"Seriously?"

He nods.

"Come on then, let's go!" she ushers him excitedly and hurries to open the door, which makes Dick laugh softly.

"Hey, not so fast. Unless you wanna get lost in this maze."

"Then lead the way."

They walk out into the hall together, and when Dick closes the door behind him, they move onwards.

"What was Donna doing in Paris anyway?" Rachel nudges him. "I'm pretty sure you never told us."

Dick can barely contain his mysterious smile.

"Christmas shopping."

"Really?"

"Really. Now c'mon." he puts his arm around her shoulders and pulls her to his side. "Dinner now, then - the tour."

"Yes!"

* * *

Watching Rachel throw herself into Diana's arms with a joyful laugh warms his heart like a bonfire in the middle of the night. The woman returns the firm hug and winks at him over her shoulder. After untangling herself from her grip, Rachel pulls her towards Gar, who is standing by the door to the dining room with his jaw on the floor. She has to poke him a couple of times but eventually the boy comes to his senses and a smile spreads across his mouth. At the table, the two teens take their seats on either side of Diana, talking her ears off, but the amazon princess doesn't seem to mind. Dick and Donna share a grin and an eye roll at the sight of it, because in a way it's like looking in a mirror.

During dinner, Donna shares with everyone her adventures in Paris, cleverly avoiding the topic of buying the ring. Bruce asks the kids if they've ever been abroad, to which Gar goes into detail about his travels across Africa with his parents. Rachel admits that she has never traveled anywhere except Themyscira, which makes Diana stare at Dick and literally order him to arrange a trip for them in the near future.

"Maybe for a special occasion?" she prompts, raising her eyebrows significantly.

"We'll see." he answers and hides his grin in the glass of red wine. The kids are too excited to notice anything.

After dinner, Bruce and Diana disappear into his office - the League doesn't take a break even on Christmas. Meanwhile, Dick (with Donna's help) shows Kory and the kids around the property. They visit countless galleries and themed rooms, a ballroom and a huge gym and training room. He can't stop smiling at the sparkling faces of Gar and Rachel, even Kory looks impressed.

"So this is where Robin was born." Gar sighs as he examines the numerous pieces of equipment. "Awesome!"

"More like  _ made _ ." he corrects him, but the green-haired boy just shrugs him off with a wave of his hand.

"Whatever!"

He's about to argue, but then he notices Rachel standing in the center of the room with her head up.

"You didn't mention it was here." she says as he walks over and stops beside her, arms folded across his chest. He follows her gaze up to the ceiling, where the acrobatics equipment is mounted - trapeze, ropes, platforms, hoops and long red ribbons. He doesn't need her power to know that the sight has caused an avalanche of emotions in her. He knows this feeling - for years this equipment caused him only pain, anger and a desire for revenge. Though the shadow of his parents' death hung over him like an omen as he climbed on the trapeze, he couldn't stop using it.

But now, thanks to Rachel, he has new memories. Better ones. Now, when he looks at it, he feels her strong grip on his wrists, the same as his own, saving her from falling. He sees the light reflecting in her eyes as she looks up at him with a smile on her lips. He hears her words spoken with emotional fervor in his head.

_ We're supposed to save each other. _

It may have been happening only in their heads, but it was as real as the fact that they are both standing here right now.

"Bruce installed them shortly after I moved in." he explains. "He said I shouldn't neglect my abilities because they may come in handy someday."

Rachel tears her gaze from the ceiling and looks at him with an eyebrow raised.

"Like in fighting crime?"

"Exactly."

"Uh, Dick?" Gar's voice comes from across the room, where he and Kory are standing by the Salmon's ladder - or rather, he is standing, alone, because Kory is just about to jump up the last rung as easily as if she were riding a bike. The sight is so distracting that Dick doesn't register the boy's question at first.

"What?"

"I asked if… you know, maybe… we could go see the Batcave?"

He can't help but chuckle. It's obvious that out of all the rooms in this house Garfield Logan wanted to see Batman's operations center the most.

"The Batcave, huh?"

"Yeah." he says, a little more hesitant this time. Meanwhile, Kory jumps off the ladder and quickly fixes her hair. And it's… not relevant at the moment. Gar is. "I mean, I assume it's in this building… isn't it?"

Dick walks over to him and pats his shoulder.

"That is a question for the Boss."

"Yeah, like he's gonna ask him." Kory adds, snorting. Donna nods in agreement, trying not to laugh while Gar stares at him.

"To- to the  _ Boss _ ?"

"Mhm. You can't go in without his permission."

He signals them to follow him and heads towards the door. Gar is right on his heels, grinning excitedly.

"So the Batcave  _ is _ here?"

"I didn't say that."

"Oh c'mon!"

Rachel chuckles and pushes herself under Dick's arm like a cat demanding attention.

"So what's next?"

Dick looks down at her and smiles.

"How about the garden? Just go get your jackets first. I don't know if you noticed, but it's not as warm here as in California."

The joint groan of disappointment that comes from Gar and Rachel's mouth gives him unimaginable satisfaction.

* * *

The lawn is covered with a layer of snow thicker than Dick had expected, so his feet sink into the white fluff up to his ankles as soon as he goes outside. This place, as it usually does during winter, seems deserted and overwhelming to him. Trees devoid of leaves and bushes almost completely invisible under a blanket of snow, frozen or non-working fountains - all of this makes the garden look more like a graveyard.

Rachel, wrapped in a thick black coat, rests her back against his chest to keep herself warm. Dick hugs her and rests his chin on the top of her head. She looks up at him, quirking an eyebrow.

"So… why are we here?"

"Exactly!" Gar stands next to them, shivering, despite the puffy jacket he's wearing. Thanks to its bright green shade, the boy is the only spot of color in this miserable landscape (well, maybe except Kory). "It's warmer inside. And there's food. Lots of food."

"Hey!" Dick turns to him. "Since I'm supposed to show you around my family home, I'm going to take you everywhere!"

"Just not the Batcave." Gar mutters under his breath. Dick decides to ignore this remark.

Kory comes up on the other side of him and crosses her arms over her chest, grinning.

"Admit it, you have no idea what to do with us here."

Suddenly, three pairs of eyes stare at him and Dick realizes two things - that he doesn't know how to answer, and that Kory may be right.

"I- Well..."

"Okay, then let  _ me _ take the lead here." Donna announces cheerfully as she joins them. Seeing the dangerous gleam in her eyes, Dick wants to run away and hide somewhere. He knows this look too damn well and knows what it can mean.

Unfortunately for him, the kids notice it too.

"Go on." Rachel pleads, eyes narrowing suspiciously. Dick sighs and looks up at the cloudy sky.

"Fuck."

Donna crosses her gaze with Rachel and turns to point towards the back of the garden.

"See that huge willow over there by the wall?"

Dick gives his sister a murderous glare. He doesn't even have to look that way, he knows exactly what she's up to. The tree she pointed out to them is right by his bedroom window and bears traces of many of his escapes and other stupid ideas.

Donna turns back to them and clasps her hands together like she's a tour guide on a school trip. He groans at her visible excitement.

"Donna, please. Don't tell me you wanna tell that story about the Porsche."

Rachel spins around the moment the words leave his mouth.

"What story about the Porsche?  _ The _ Porsche?  _ Our _ Porsche?"

Donna laughs at her reaction.

"Yeah, but which one?" she asks. "Because there are few stories - and each one is different."

"You gotta be kidding." says Gar.

"Spill!" Rachel adds, jumping on her toes.

Totally pleased with herself, Donna starts backing down the path that leads further into the garden.

"Follow me, please."

The kids do as she says, running after her like they're attracted by a magnet.

Kory wraps her fur coat tighter around herself and takes a step towards him. There is a mysterious, playful smile dancing on her lips. He can clearly see that the whole situation is entertaining her.

"Well,  _ this _ is gonna be interesting." she whispers in his ear in a slightly flirty tone and then goes on to follow Rachel.

As she walks away, Dick shoves his cold hands into the pockets of his coat and looks down at his snow-covered boots, sighing heavily. Donna loves to tell these stories, and once Gar and Rachel find out, they won't let him live it down. Well, he should have expected it. And he should probably get used to it as well.

Accepting his fate, he moves towards them with resignation. They are all already under the tree, Rachel's sonorous laughter carried by the chilly wind across the garden. She's so fascinated by what Donna is saying that she doesn't even notice Gar forming a ball of snow in his hands until the ball hits the back of her head with full force. Moments later, the snowball fight is in full swing and Dick can't help but grin at the sight.

_ My kids _ , he thinks and his heart bursts with pride.

Suddenly something stops him in his tracks. A strange but familiar tingling sensation in the back of his neck, like the one you get when you feel as if someone is watching or following you. Discreetly as to not alert the others, Dick looks around the grounds.

Then he sees it.

It's sitting on the lowest branch of a huge oak tree, the oldest one on the property. Its feathers are so bright that the snow looks dirty compared to them. Red eyes fixed on him shine like two rubies and their gaze is so penetrating it goes deep into his soul.

The white raven looks even more majestic than in his dream. Time stops when they stare at each other, it feels like the creature is trying to communicate with him, like it's calling, wanting him to follow… 

A snowball hits his shoulder, distracting him.

"Dick! C'mon!" Rachel calls out to him from under the willow tree. Her hair and coat are covered in snow, and her cheeks and nose are flushed red from cold. "You have some explaining to do!"

He looks up at the tree again, but the bird is already gone. Dick frowns, confused. Was it just his imagination?

"Hey." Rachel runs over to him, panting. Her breaths form little white clouds in the frosty air. "Everything okay?"

Sometimes he has the impression that nothing can ever stay hidden from her watchful gaze. Her eyes go to the oak tree as well, though they can't see anything.

_ Because there was nothing there. Your brain is playing tricks on you again. _

"Yeah." he replies, smiling to reassure her concerns. "It's just… I thought I saw… you know what, nevermind. Let's go."

He puts his arm around her again and pulls her to him, heading to the others, then leans in and whispers in her ear.

"You and me versus Gar and Kory. What do you say?"

Her lips slowly stretch into a mischievous smirk. She is ready to fight - and win.

"I go from the left, you from the right."

"On three."

Gar and Kory don't even know what's coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Any theories on what this bird is and what it wants? Also, is it a good decision for Dick to keep certain information for himself? After all it was just a stupid dream, right?
> 
> SEE YOU GUYS NEXT WEEK!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flying is a great way to escape from racing thoughts and piling up questions. It's also an awesome bonding activity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELCOME TO CHAPTER 5!!!  
> I hope you're enjoying the story so far. I wish I could say more here but honestly, I just don't want to spoil anything so I'm just gonna keep my mouth shut. But I will say this - this chapter was inspired by two scenes from two different things, I will explain it in the end notes but I hope you can catch the references.  
> ENJOY and see you next week!

He's back in the empty. This time it feels like all his senses stopped working completely - no sounds, no smells, not even the faintest flash of light can reach him.

It lasts for about a minute. An hour. All eternity. Time doesn't matter anymore.

A child's cry.

So loud, so poignant, that it makes the hair on his arms and on the back of his neck stand on end and his eardrums almost burst. Turning towards the sound, he barely refrains from covering his ears with his hands.

A crib.

Old fashioned. Made of carved, polished wood decorated with engraved intricate patterns and designs. And there's a baby crying in it. He can see a little fist and two chubby legs kicking ferociously right over the edge. His feet move on their own accord and he finds himself standing beside it before he can even register what's happening.

As soon as their eyes meet, the baby falls silent, tears vanishing in an instant and he holds his breath. He has no idea how he knows it - maybe it's the electrifying blue of those eyes framed by long, black eyelashes, maybe that specific, one-of-a-kind smile, or maybe it's this all too familiar expression full of trust and love - but there is no denying it.

It's her.

Tears fill his eyes as he leans over her, his smile so wide it hurts his face. She's so beautiful. So adorable. So… perfect.

She smiles, letting out a sweet coo and extends her tiny hands to him. Her large eyes stare at him expectantly. A joyful laugh bursts from his chest and he reaches out for her to pick her up.

But he can't touch her. His hands go through her body like it's nothing but a fog. He keeps trying - once, twice, three times - but to no avail. It's impossible.

_ No. No, no, please, no. _

He falls to his knees, clutching the edge of the crib so hard his knuckles turn bleach white. As soon as she loses sight of him, she begins to cry again, harder than before. He starts talking to her, soothing her with his soft voice as he has done many times before. He whispers that he's with her, that there is nothing to be afraid of, but it's not working. It's as if she doesn't hear him at all.

Another sound breaks through her heart wrenching wailing and sends shivers down his spine.

Croaking.

He looks up straight into the red eyes of the white bird. The animal is perched on the edge of the crib, its long, sharp claws wrapped around the wooden frame, and it flaps its wings, screeching loudly - it sounds like it's laughing at him.

_ Why are you doing this _ , he asks, swallowing his tears.  _ I don't care if it's a dream or whatever - let me touch her. _

No visible reaction. The bird keeps laughing.

_ I'm begging you. I just want to hold her. Just for a moment. _

Heavy tears roll down his cheeks and he chokes on a sob. Despair is crushing his heart in an iron grip. He's not sure he can handle the pain much longer.

_ Please… let me hold her. Let me hold my baby. _

The bird becomes silent and fixes its gaze at him again. They both remain motionless for a moment, neither daring to look away.

He moves first.

And the bird attacks.

* * *

When he wakes up, it takes him a solid minute to understand where he is and what just happened. Sweat is running down his back again and he's panting like he's just run a marathon. He tosses off the covers as if it was burning, jumps out of bed, pulls on sweatpants and a white tank top, and leaves the room.

His legs carry him along familiar hallways on their own. The moonlight draws the outlines of the windows on the hardwood floor and the space is filled with complete silence except for the occasional creaking of the floorboards under his feet.

As Dick expected, the training room is empty. He doesn't even bother turning on the lights, the moonlight is enough. Besides, he's used to exercising in almost total darkness.

He stands in the middle of the vast space for a few minutes, looking from one piece of equipment to the other, wondering what to do first. He doesn't want to make unnecessary noise, it's 2 a.m. after all. Then he looks up.

It's been a long time since he last used this trapeze. But nothing else will help him enough to erase those hideous screams mixed with the crying of a child from his head.

She was so tiny, so delicate and vulnerable. He had never had a chance to see her as a baby, he didn't even have any photos, but he was sure it was Rachel lying in that crib. The sight of her took his breath away. If only he could hold her, just for a moment… 

He shakes his head to get rid of these thoughts and moves to the little cabinet in the corner of the room. As he covers his hands with white powder and wraps them in bandages, a nagging voice in the back of his head urges him to think on the meaning of these dreams. That the white raven that keeps haunting him has something to do with Rachel, and these dreams may not be just ordinary dreams. The form of this animal is also not accidental - didn't Rachel call the human part of her soul a White Raven? But that was a spiritual being made of pure light, not an actual bird. 

All these unanswered questions give him a headache, and although he knows he should do something about it, he decides to ignore it for the moment and climbs a ladder to a platform hanging from a high ceiling.

The world seems small and insignificant from this height. All that matters is him, the stick in his hand, and how he chooses to resist the laws of gravity. From the recesses of memory, as if out of thick fog, emerge the sounds of a melody to which his mother liked to swing. He can't remember the lyrics anymore, but the notes flow through his veins along with blood of The Flying Graysons.

He takes a deep breath and jumps. The ropes tighten, the metal creaks, but the momentum combined with the work of his own body carries him so far that he could already jump to the next platform. But he doesn't - he maintains speed easily and allows himself another flyover above the training room before landing where he started.

His heart pounds at the speed of a galloping horse. The rush of serotonin and adrenaline almost knocks him off his feet. As he makes another jump, a broad smile of the purest euphoria appears on his face. He hadn't felt like this for a long time, nor had he thought that, of all things, it was the old circus trick that would make him feel like that. Like he used to feel when he was a child, swinging with his parents while the crowd cheered on. He chooses the right moment and releases the stick, performing a somersault in the air. It's a muscle memory - he will never forget how it's done. He reaches out and grabs another stick, and thanks to one strong swing lands on the platform on the other side of the room.

For a brief moment, he hears nothing but his shaky breath and his wild beating heart.

"I see you still got it." comes from somewhere below. He glances over there and sees Rachel standing in the center of the room with her arms crossed over her chest, staring at him and smiling broadly. Her eyes shine with fascination. "I have to admit, it's impressive."

"Rachel?"

"Hi."

He descends the ladder in such a hurry that he jumps off it halfway.

"Shouldn't you be asleep?"

She chuckles softly, brushing a strand of hair from her face.

"I could ask you the same thing." she says. "I was reading a book when I heard you leave your room. When you weren't coming back for a long while, I got curious."

Now he is the one who can't help but laugh. Of course.

"How did you find me?"

Rachel's smile fades. She lowers her head and starts nibbling at the thread sticking out of the sleeve of her sweater. She always does this when she's upset.

"You… you always go training when you try to escape from the unwanted thoughts." she mumbles without looking at him.

Dick takes a deep breath. So she noticed. Until now he thought that only Donna knew about this habit. Apparently not.

When she looks at him again, her eyes are full of worry and… fear.

"It's the nightmares, isn't it?" she asks and her voice trembles. "They're back."

"Yeah." he answers after a moment of silence.

"But I… I'm fine. Everything is okay. Then why-"

"I don't know." he interrupts her and walks away to get a bottle of water from the cupboard. He takes a few sips before continuing. "Maybe they've come back for a while and then they'll be gone again. It happens sometimes."

He doesn't mention the white raven on purpose, though he realizes he should. But until he knows more, he is not going to worry her.

Rachel turns her eyes down to the floor, nibbling at her lower lip. It's clear as day she's worried and frustrated. She steps closer while he goes to one of the metal pillars and unties a thick coil of rope from it, weighted at the other end with a sandbag.

"You sure, Dick?"

He can't bear the tremble in her voice, like she's about to cry. Their greatest fear is to lose each other, for one to go where the other can't follow, whether that'd be physically or mentally, they both know it. And they have to fight this fear day in and day out. Dick knows it must be weighing on her, the way he's obviously struggling. And he can't let that happen. Therefore, he has to do something to chase away these bad thoughts.

With the rope wrapped around his wrist, Dick walks over to Rachel and gently takes her face in his hands. His fingers leave traces of powder on her cheeks.

"I'm sure." he confirms, smiling. "It's just stupid dreams. If I stop thinking about them and focus on what's real, they will eventually disappear."

The corners of her mouth lift slightly, and she closes her eyes as she leans into his touch.

"Yeah, maybe you're right."

"Listen, you're here." he whispers, looking into her eyes. "Safe and sound. Pulling all-nighters reading a book instead of studying."

Rachel laughs.

"Don't tell Kory."

"No promises." he says, making her roll her eyes. Dick's hands slide slowly off her cheeks to rest on her shoulders. "You're okay and I'm grateful to God that you are. Nothing and no one will ever take you away from me. Neither of us have anything to fear, okay?"

"Okay."

"Now let's go."

"Where?"

His face lights up with a mischievous smirk, usually indicating that he has just come up with some crazy idea. His arm wraps itself tightly around her waist, securing her against him, while the other one rises up to get a better grip on the rope.

"Up."

He tugs hard, making the heavy sack of sand fall with a pound to the floor and the rope stretches and rises, taking both of them up in the air. A cry of surprise breaks out of Rachel's mouth and she clings to him like a little monkey, wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. His arm muscles burn from keeping both of them on the rope, but it doesn't take long as soon they land on a platform near the ceiling.

"Are you crazy?" Rachel calls out as soon as her feet touch something solid. Seeing her eyes wide open and her breathing quickened, Dick grins like an idiot.

"What?" he shrugs. "We both needed a distraction."

"Yeah, a distraction, not a goddamn heart attack!"

When she sees Dick starting to laugh at her reaction so hard he has to bend over, she slaps him on the shoulder.

"Stop laughing! You should've warned me!"

"But this way was funnier." he says between breaths. Rachel crosses her arms over her chest and shakes her head.

"You're impossible."

"But you love me anyway."

"Hmm, debatable after the stunt you just pulled."

She's trying to sound serious, but she's laughing too, now. She rolls her eyes and starts looking around, then reaches out with her hand and grabs the swinging stick, observing it carefully.

"I have a strong feeling of deja vu." she admits.

Dick walks over to her and looks over her shoulder, already having an idea of what she is referring to. He also remembers her jumping from the same platform as the one they are standing on now, absolutely sure that he would catch her, though she had seen many times in her dreams how he had failed to catch his parents. She knew what she was risking, but it didn't stop her. All to save him.

"I never thought I'd see you do this in real life."

"I didn't think I would ever want to do it again. But… it's good to come back to it, even for a moment. Body never forgets."

She turns to him, her eyes shining like stars.

"Can you show me?"

He looks at her for a moment, absorbing her excitement, happy to share it with her, then extends his hand, signalling with a move of his fingers to give him the stick. She lays it in his palm.

Dick takes a step back and inhales deeply, wrapping his fingers around the cold metal. He can feel her gaze on him, curious and observing. He releases the air from his lungs and jumps. 

Just like before, his body relies on muscle memory. He swings and jumps and turns in the air, twists his body with grace and precision engraved in him by his mother. Grabs at the handles and uses his muscles the way his father taught him. He catches Rachel's mesmerized expression when he pauses on the platform on the other side of the room. She's smiling at him with pure awe in her eyes. He bows theatrically, low and slowly with one hand pressed to his middle and grins when he hears her chuckle.

"Show off!" she shouts across the room.

"Oh I'm not done yet!"

And he jumps again, this time doing a series of more complicated moves. He can hear her gasp as he flies in the air, his arms outstretched like wings, but he's not sure if it was a gasp of fear or delight. 

He lands beside her a few seconds later, swiftly and full of grace. 

"That was… incredible." Rachel breathes out staring at him with wide eyes.

"I'm glad you enjoyed the show." he says as he walks up to her and takes her hand. "Now it's your turn."

Her smile drops and her face turns clueless.

"What?"

Dick pulls her along with him, grinning.

"Come on."

They descend from the platform onto a wide metal ramp that circles the entire room. Dick removes a large metal hoop and a harness from the wall.

"You'll sit here."

"Wait-" Rachel takes a step back, surprised. "I'm not- Dick, I can't-"

"Relax." he calms her down. "The hoop is the easiest. It's a... a little more complicated swing. You just have to hold tight - and you'll be strapped."

Rachel glares with distrust at the objects in his hands, frowning.

"Will you catch me?"

"Always."

She hesitates a moment longer, but finally sighs and walks over to him.

"Okay. But only because I trust you."

"That's my girl."

Rachel grabs the hoop and Dick puts the harness on her. He tightens the straps, making sure everything is fastened correctly, then instructs her what to do.

"Just jump and pull yourself up as if you were getting on a normal swing." he says. "I'll be downstairs. I can control the rope from there and I'll pull you down when you're done."

She risks looking down.

"It's high up here."

He puts his hand on her back.

"Do you remember our dream? It was even higher. And yet you jumped."

"That was different." she argues. "I was trying to save you."

Dick smiles and leans in to kiss her forehead.

"So, imagine you're doing that now, too."

He walks down the metal steps and turns on the lamps. A single beam of bright light illuminates their playground. He stands right inside it and calls out.

"Jump when you're ready!"

She gathers courage for a few seconds, taking deep breaths. Their eyes meet and Dick nods encouragingly. Then she tightens her hands on the hoop, takes a step back and jumps.

She does everything as he told her, and a second later she's swinging in the ray of golden light like the brightest star. A smile of delight spreads over her face as she screams with joy, forgetting for a moment that it's the middle of the night. As she grows more daring, she grips the hoop tighter and leans back. It looks amazing when she is gracefully holding herself on the rim, flying like a bird through the air.

It reminds him of his mother.

Mary Grayson would have loved Rachel, no doubt about that. She would admire her courage and cleverness, her good heart and her eagerness to act. She would cry with joy seeing the adoption papers.

He hadn't thought about his parents for a long time. Years ago, he stopped wondering, stopped asking questions like  _ what if _ . But now… now he wishes they were here. So he could show them how wonderful his daughter is.

"It's amazing, like flying!" Rachel calls from above him, breaking him out of his reverie. She had stopped swinging and now is swaying slightly a few feet above his head, slowly moving her legs. "Now I fully understand the  _ flying _ part in The Flying Graysons."

He folds his arms over his chest and shakes his head, laughing softly.

"Ready to go back down, birdie?"

"Yeah!"

He unwinds another rope from the hook and slowly, carefully lowers Rachel to the ground. Once she's low enough, Dick lets go of the rope and she falls right into his outstretched arms.

"I told you I'd catch you."

She wraps her arms around his neck.

"Thanks, Dad."

This happens more and more often these days. The word  _ dad _ falls out of her lips like it's something she has been calling him all her life. And his heart always skips a beat when he hears it.

He smiles softly and gives her a kiss on the nose, making her giggle before setting her on the ground and unhooking her harness.

"I'm guessing you liked it?"

"Oh yeah!" she says, excited. "I want to do it again!"

Dick puts the items in a corner without even bothering to bring them back to their usual spot, then goes back to Rachel and puts his arm around her.

"Another time." he promises as they step out into the hallway. "Now we have to go back to our bedrooms and at least pretend we slept all night."

Rachel chuckles again and rests her head on his shoulder.

When they reach their destination and stop in front of their doors, she doesn't leave his embrace for a little bit longer. She snuggles to his chest as his arms wrap tightly around her, pulling her closer. She's alive and warm and  _ real _ , his hands don't pass through air this time. It calms him down for good.

"Everything's gonna be okay, right?" she mumbles softly. Dick smiles at the thought of the surprise waiting for her in just a few days.

"Of course." He plants a kiss on the top of her head. "Go get some sleep, honey."

She nods and raises her head to meet his eyes.

"I love you."

He leans down and presses his forehead against hers, their noses brushing.

"I love you more, baby girl."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another dream... What could it possibly mean? You'll find out soon, I promise.  
> Like I said, the references:
> 
> 1) That moment in a dream when Dick wants to pick up baby Rachel but can't was inspired by a scene from The Flash s06e07 "The Last Temptation of Barry Allen, Part 1" where Barry is stuck in a vision and goes through something almost exactly the same. I absolutely loved that scene and I always wondered how it would look with Dick and Rachel instead.
> 
> 2) All the swinging and flying, especially the moments when Dick pulls them up in the air on the rope and Rachel on the hoop was inspired by the scene from "The Greatest Showman" - the musical number "Rewrite the Stars". Go watch it on YouTube if you haven't seen it, so you can get a better idea of what I envisioned while writing this part.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed and see you soon!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Christmas Eve has come at last

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELCOME TO CHAPTER 6!  
> All I can say is...
> 
> It's showtime.

"Doesn't Dick seem kinda… I don't know…  _ strange _ to you lately?"

Gar doesn't even glance at her when Rachel asks him this question. He's lying on his bed with his head hanging over the edge and is playing on the console looking at the screen upside down while she, becoming increasingly annoyed by his total lack of self-preservation (back pain plus blood flooding the brain? Bad idea), sighs and leans against the fancy headboard.

"You mean more than usual?"

She folds her arms over her chest and shoots him a glare from under furrowed eyebrows.

"I'm serious."

He lets out a deep, exaggerated sigh and presses pause on the game before throwing the controller away and sitting up, meeting her gaze.

"What's going on?"

This time it's her turn for a long, drawn sigh.

"I don't know, really and that worries me." she admits after a while. "But I can see that something is wrong."

Seeing her concerned expression, Gar moves to sit next to her.

"Have you tried to ask him?"

"Of course I have! But you know how he is-"

"He put a smile on his face and told you not to worry, am I right?"

"Exactly."

Gar snorts under his breath and shakes his head.

"That's  _ so _ Dick Grayson."

They sit quietly for the next few minutes. Rachel is nervously playing with the little blue stone ring her mom gave her for her thirteenth birthday. It's the only thing she has left of her old life.

"You know, after I was… sick-" she begins hesitantly, deciding to finally break the silence. "-Both he and I had nightmares."

"Who hadn't." her friend adds glumly without looking at her, the corner of his mouth rising in a sad smile.

"Yeah, but… his nightmares were much worse than mine."

This gets his attention. He lifts his head and looks at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Meaning?"

She feels her insides twist as she remembers those many terrible nights.

" _ Meaning _ he woke up screaming almost every night for several months, cried more and way harder than I would ever expect of him, or anyone for that matter, and… he became paranoid."

"Yeah, I remember." Gar nods. "He would not leave your side for a second."

"Not only that." she points out. "He was very sensitive to… basically everything. He flinched at any loud sound or sudden movements, I don't know why. He tried to hide it, but I noticed it anyway. After a while he got better and we both thought it was over, but… now those nightmares are back."

Gar sits upright and turns his whole body to her, his face alert.

Rachel nods grimly at his silent plea for confirmation, worry and fear return to her eyes.

"Last night before coming here, I woke up and found him sitting on my bed, pale as a ghost. He only does it when the nightmare is so terrible that he has to check if I'm okay, otherwise he won't be able to calm down… it's been a long time since he did that. "

"Gosh, is it that bad?"

Silence falls between them again. Rachel leans her head on Gar's shoulder and sighs heavily.

"And yesterday in the garden… did you notice how he froze, staring at one spot?"

He thinks for a moment before answering.

"You know what, yeah, I did." he admits. "I didn't pay much attention to it then, but now that I think about it, Dick looked…"

"...Like he'd just seen a ghost."

"Yeah, like that."

"He didn't hear what I was saying to him." Rachel continues. "He turned as if checking to see if it was still there."

"Maybe the view triggered a memory?"

"Maybe… but it kinda reminded me of… his paranoia about Slade."

Gar hopps off the bed with a grunt and walks over to the dresser where he had hidden his supply of snacks. He turns and tosses her a can of Coke.

"Listen, Rach." he sighs. "Maybe you are looking too much into it? Last year was hell. We barely picked ourselves up after Deathstroke and had a few months of peace before we almost lost you. Besides, it's actually our first Christmas together - like,  _ really _ together - and we are spending it at freaking Batman's house. Dick and Bruce walk around each other on eggshells trying to at least pretend everything is alright. Can you imagine how much stress it costs him?"

Rachel opens the can and takes a sip. The turbulent bubbles of the cool drink sting her tongue.

"So you're saying I shouldn't worry?"

He walks up quickly to the bed and sits down next to her, placing his hand on her shoulder. His eyes are warm and comforting.

"I'm saying you shouldn't make God knows what theories. Nightmares sometimes come back, that's what trauma is like. Especially when someone is under stress." he explains. "Dick told you not to worry, right? Well then I think you should listen to him. I bet when we get home after New Year's Day everything will be back to normal."

Rachel mulls over his advice for a long moment. Maybe she really is exaggerating it all too much and creating reasons for her anxiety that don't exist? Dick wants everything to be perfect. Not just for her but for everyone. It must be stressful.

She gives Gar a warm smile.

"Maybe you're right."

"Hopefully. But I'll keep an eye on him, just in case."

A breath of relief escapes from her chest.

"Thank you."

"Now get your controller. I need a partner."

"But I was going to go study..."

Gar looks at her like she's crazy.

"Rachel, Christmas Eve is in two days. I say drop it." He throws her a second gamepad and lays back down comfortably on the bed, already turning on the game. "Now try to relax and kick my ass."

* * *

The Christmas Eve dinner comes faster than anyone would have expected. Gar and Rachel have been helping in the kitchen since the morning, completely oblivious and so excited that they don't even notice the obvious nervousness on his face, his tense body or trembling hands, though every adult who passes by him in the house sends him a knowing smirk. Dick tries to avoid the kitchen as much as he can, helping Alfred with other preparations.

As the clock strikes five in the afternoon, all guests gather in an intimate, more personal dining room, though large enough to accommodate everyone. The room sparks with lights and decorations from the floor to the ceiling, a rich Christmas tree stands by the largest window, and quiet sounds of instrumental versions of carols can be heard from the turntable standing over the burning fireplace.

Breath hitches in his throat as he sees his girls dressed in beautiful dresses in their favorite colors. They look so wonderful that he can't take his eyes off them until a hand lands between his shoulder blades, startling him.

"Ready?" Bruce asks him softly, giving him a small smile.

"Were  _ you _ ready?" Dick answers the question with his own, looking his adoptive father in the eye. "With me?"

"Not at all."

They both chuckle quietly and look at the rest of the family. Gar stands straight as a string while Diana adjusts the bow tie around his neck.

Dick sighs heavily as nerves twist and wring his stomach out like a rag.

"It took you a lot longer to make that decision than me."

Bruce's hand moves to his shoulder and his fingers grip it tightly.

"Which doesn't mean your decision is wrong." he underlines by bringing his face close to him so only he can hear it. "I'm proud of you, son. You're coming full circle while doing a better job with these two than I ever did with you."

He wants to protest, but suddenly the words get stuck in his throat. All he can do is look in his father's eyes and let him speak.

"Look at them!" Bruce continues, pointing his hand at Gar and Rachel already seated at the table. "They are happy. They know that they are loved and they have a home to which they can always return. And it's all thanks to you. You achieved in a year what I couldn't in almost twenty."

"Bruce, no. Stop." Dick cuts him off, turning to face him. "Don't say that. I was the problem. I only saw even your smallest mistakes while being blind to my biggest ones. Gar and Rachel made me realize how wrong I was, let me see things from the other side. And this place is -  _ you _ are - and always will be my home. It won't ever change."

They look into each other's eyes for a long moment, absorbing the spoken words, knowing that from now on there is not even a drop of bad blood between them. Everything has been forgiven.

Bruce pats the nape of his neck.

"Let's go." he says. "It's time to start."

As they sit down at the table, the host raises a glass of red wine and taps it with a knife, drawing the guests' attention to himself.

"Before we begin, I'd like to make a toast." he speaks in that practiced official tone that Dick has heard many times at various galas, conferences and other events. However, as he continues, there is a warm, more natural note in his voice. "This year has not been the easiest, but despite the tough trials life has put before us, we are still here in full force, stronger than ever."

Kory nudges Rachel lightly with her shoulder and they both giggle softly. Gar shakes his head at their antica and chuckles quietly. Dick looks at them with a dreamy smile on his lips, his heart bursting with joy.

"So…" Bruce raises his glass higher and the rest follow his steps. "Too strong will of survival." here he looks at Rachel. "For the desire of self-discovery." he glances at Gar. "For being reborn from the ashes." now he crosses his eyes with Donna. "For restoring proper glory." he bows his head to Kory. "For unwavered friendship." he tips his glass at Diana. "And for the power of family." Bruce ends smiling at his own son. "Merry Christmas. Now let's eat before it gets cold."

The evening passes in an atmosphere of unbridled joy. Dick has to admit it is his favorite Christmas since… well, probably forever. Hours pass in the blink of an eye while they're talking and joking, the kids capturing everything on their phones. Outside the windows snow covers everything with a thick layer of white fluff. It's perfect.

When Alfred announces that he will be going to get another bottle of wine, Dick jumps up from his seat and offers to go with him, using that moment as an opportunity to run up to his bedroom for adoption papers. Donna helped him put them in boxes so that they wouldn't be distinguishable from other gifts, but he refused to put them under the Christmas tree, because he wanted to give them to the kids by himself.

His hands shake as he returns to the dining room. The eyes of all adults are on him and a second later a wave of encouraging smiles floods him. Donna raises a thumbs up and tears appear in Kory's eyes. Only the two most important people in this room don't notice anything - Gar is hanging around the Christmas tree, pretending to look at the decorations, although in fact he is trying to peer at the gifts. Rachel is standing nearby, by the window, filming him with her phone.

"Gar, Rachel. Come on up for a minute, I have something…" he starts hesitantly but trails off 'cause at the same time Rachel's attention is drawn to something in the sky.

"Gar, look! I've never seen the moon so huge and clear!"

Everyone turns to the window at her words, distracted. Indeed, some of the snow clouds had cleared, revealing a huge full moon in the center of the sky. Its round shape is so magnificent tonight that the light would easily illuminate the whole room better than any lamps. The view is downright mesmerizing.

"That's awesome!" Gar gasps in delight. "Rach, take a picture."

But Rachel doesn't react. She stands as still as a statue, staring at the sky.

"Rachel?" the boy tries again, but still to no avail.

Dick is the first one to realize that something is wrong, that what is happening is not normal. It got a lot colder in the room. Shivers ran down his back, creating goosebumps all over his skin. He's watching the final cloud disappear, holding his breath, as it lets the rest of the moon's rays pierce through to the room. The moonlight falls on Rachel like out of the spotlight, shining on her with a silver glow, and in Dick's eyes everything happens in slow motion.

Her fingers open and the phone crashes to the floor. She takes a gasp of air into her lungs, as if she is about to sink into the water, and her body rises, levitating a few inches above the floor. Her back arches, her arms spread wide, but everything happens out of her control.

Dick drops the presents on the floor and leaps quickly towards her, but Bruce stops him. 

"No, don't." he hisses as he lays his flat hand on his chest, staring into his son's panicked eyes and slowly shakes his head. "Whatever is happening, we have to let it play out to the end, otherwise she could get hurt."

Dick wants to protest but he knows Bruce is right. He gulps down his fear and turns his eyes back on Rachel.

Then the moon turns red. Her arms, legs, every visible part of Rachel's skin covers up with snake-like symbols glowing like coals in the fire. They seem familiar, although he cannot remember where he had seen them before. And from her mouth comes a distorted, echoing voice.

_ "The Gem was born of Evil's fire, The Gem shall be His portal. He comes to claim, he comes to sire the end of all things mortal." _

The clouds cover the moon again, and the flow of words stops. Rachel collapses to the floor like a rag doll cut from strings, unconscious, and deathly silence settles over the dining room like dust.

"Rachel!" Dick cries and breaks free from his father's grip, then runs to her and falls to his knees. The rest of the family gathers around them, Kory kneels down beside him but he doesn't pay attention to it. With trembling hands he gathers Rachel in his arms. She's breathing even though she is cold as ice. However, that's not the worst part.

The red gemstone - the source of her power made of her own heart - is shattered to pieces that fall to the floor as Dick picks her up. In the center of her forehead where it was stuck before there is now an open wound trickling a trail of dark scarlet blood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DUN DUN DUNNNNN  
> Have you seen that coming?  
> The prophecy I put in here comes from the Teen Titans cartoon, had anyone of you recognized it? I rewatched the season 4 three-part finale "The End" which is focused on Raven to get inspiration for this chapter and what's ahead.
> 
> Also, a little bit of an announcement/heads up:
> 
> Life is getting a bit busy so I have less time to write, only on weekends really and at the moment I am 2.5 chapters ahead in writing, just started chapter 9. So, depends on how the writing goes, I might stretch in time posting of those last few chapters, maybe once in two weeks. I'm gonna try to stick to the current schedule, but I want you to be informed in case chapter 7 doesn't show up next Friday. But crossing fingers it will 😁
> 
> Anyway, I hope you liked it and see you soon!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath brings a lot of questions...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELCOME TO CHAPTER 7!!!  
> This one was fun to write but also incredibly hard sometimes. At one point I didn't really know where I was going with this but then I read through it and everything fell into place like puzzle pieces.
> 
> Have fun with this one 😉

"Rachel! Rachel wake up!" Dick calls out desperately, shaking the unconscious girl in his arms. Her head only rolls over to the other side, making the drops of blood run down her temple and disappear into her hair. Her eyelids flutter lightly and a soft moan comes out of her mouth, but she remains unresponsive.

Gar appears in his line of sight as he slowly crouches down in front of him. The boy's hands go to Rachel but he hesitates and leaves them hovering over her in the air as his darting gaze tries to take in the whole scene.

"I… I don't know what happened." he gasps, his voice trembling and breaking. "She was only-"

"Shh, it's not your fault Gar." Dick crosses his gaze with him, trying to soothe him with a calm voice, though he can't hide his own fear very well either. "None of us knew."

_ Are you sure about that? _ Some sneaky voice hisses from the back of his head. Dick squeezes his eyes shut and takes a deep breath, silencing his rushing thoughts. There will be time for thinking later. Now he has to act.

"Collect the gemstone shards." he orders, looking into his son's eyes again. Gar clenches his jaw and nods, then leaps to his feet and runs to the table. He comes back clutching a white napkin in his hand, his eyes shine with a golden-green glow. Dick notices they are not human but owl eyes, large and perfect for catching even the smallest pieces of crystal in the dark.

As the boy gets to work, Dick stands up, lifting Rachel in his arms. He can feel Kory's touch on his back, watching as she wipes the blood from the girl's forehead with her other hand and gently strokes her hair with trembling fingers.

"What the hell was that?" Donna breaks the silence and steps closer.

"It looked like some really powerful magic." Diana adds and walks over to Gar, who has already collected everything he could and now clutches the debris in his hand wrapped in the thin paper. He shows them to her and the woman lifts one up in her fingers, looking at it closely. "I haven't felt something so… sinister in a long time."

"I… I don't know." Dick chokes out weakly. His voice is still trembling, his breathing is fast and rapid and he cannot take his eyes off his daughter's face. "Everything was okay. Nothing indicated-"

"We'll figure it out later." Bruce cuts him off gently but firmly, seeing the panic rising on his son's face. "Now we have to patch her up and wake her. Bring her to the Cave. I've already sent Alfred to get the infirmary bed ready. Gar?" he walks over to the boy and puts his hand on his shoulder. "You will come with me. We're going to examine these pieces."

Even in a stressful situation Gar is unable to suppress the rush of excitement when he realizes that he will see the Batcave, though he tries, pushing himself to be serious. The sight brings Dick a momentary relief and joy. When the boy looks at him uncertainly, he nods, communicating to him without words that everything will be fine and he can go. He and Bruce go ahead, and Dick and Rachel close the line.

"Don't worry honey." he whispers in her ear as they walk through the numerous corridors until they finally reach the hidden elevator. He doesn't have to look where he's going, he knows the way by heart. "I'm here, everything will be okay."

When they reach their destination, Alfred is already waiting. Bruce takes Gar to the lab section, explaining the procedure in a low voice, Diana and Donna sit at the computers to see if the lunar anomaly has had any effect on the outside world, and Dick, with Kory right behind his back, carefully puts Rachel on the bed and starts cleaning the wound while the butler is preparing the dressing. The gash is not as deep as he expected, so it doesn't need stitches, but it is bleeding profusely. Together, they manage to stop the bleeding and Alfred puts on a gauze pad, sticks it with a plaster and wraps a bandage around her head.

Dick begins attaching electrodes to her body and the first readings appear on the screens. He frowns, staring at the text and the diagrams.

"Everything's normal." he says. "So why isn't she waking up?"

He's trying not to think about the fact that last time it was the same. All examinations showed the complete absence of any injuries or damage, yet Rachel was still dying.

Alfred studies the results with him.

"No internal damage. Blood and oxygen levels normal… Maybe it's just exhaustion. I'll try with the sobering salt, it might work."

"And what if it doesn't?" Kory asks in an uncertain voice and steps closer to take Rachel's hand.

Alfred's gaze is filled with sympathy as he stares between the worried faces of her and Dick, seeing the two terrified parents.

"Then I'm afraid we have to wait."

* * *

The hours go by slowly, too slowly. It's almost midnight and Rachel's condition remains the same. Dick, Kory, and Gar sit beside her, watching her chest rise and fall in a slow and steady rhythm.

"When I said I wanted to see the Batcave…" the green haired boy mumbles, resting his arms crossed under his chin on the edge of her bed. "This is  _ not _ what I had in mind."

Kory sends him a weak smile. Dick, who is clutching Rachel's fingers in his hands, reaches out to run his fingers through his hair.

"I know, buddy." he sighs. "I imagined it differently too."

Gar turns his head towards him, smiling slightly, his eyelids fluttering at his touch.

"So you wanted to take us here?"

"Of course!" Dick laughs softly. "It was supposed to be one of the main surprises."

He continues to stroke the boy's head, making him close his eyes completely and sigh.

"Bruce promised to show me the Batmobile." he purrs sleepily. "And that he'll take us for a ride when Rach wakes up."

"That's great, honey." Kory, who is sitting on the other side of Rachel, reaches her hand across the bed to him and caresses his cheek. "Rest now, okay?"

Gar yawns slowly and gets himself more comfortable. Doing so he reminds Dick of a little kitten, which, given his powers, is an apt comparison.

"Okay, mom." and a second later he's asleep.

Kory smiles softly, her eyes glimmering in the dim light of the fluorescent lamps. She's trying to hold back tears.

"I love it when he does that." she whispers and her voice cracks a little. She clears her throat before continuing. "Calling me  _ mom _ . It's so… sweet."

"Yeah… it is." Dick sighs, running his fingers down Rachel's cheek, hearing her soft tone in his head every time she called him  _ dad _ . "What have we done to deserve these kids?"

"I think we came into their lives at the right time." Kory concludes, staring at the sleeping girl's face as he cards his fingers through her tangled hair. Rachel is still sleeping soundly as if nothing had happened at all. "We needed them as much as they needed us."

He looks at his girlfriend's face.

"I guess we still do."

As their eyes meet, she nods slowly, then looks back at their daughter.

"You had the papers ready, didn't you?" she asks after a long moment. "You wanted to give it to them after dinner."

"Yes." he confirms, dragging one of his hands over his face. He's so tired. "But then… then she-"

Words are stuck in his throat. He doesn't need to say anything anyway, because Kory was there, she saw everything. Trying to control his emotions, Dick takes Rachel's hand again and presses it to his lips.

"Baby, please." he whispers, looking at the sleeping girl. "Please come back to us."

"What do you think all of this means?" Kory asks another question, frowning in consternation. Her fingers gently run over the dressing on Rachel's forehead. "Those words… He comes to claim, he comes to sire…  _ He _ … you think it's about Trigon?"

"I don't know." he admits. "But I hope it's not. Rachel has suffered enough because of him."

The truth is, Dick can only pray that all this is not that fucking demon's doing and hope his prayer will be answered. But the more he thinks about it, the more his insides twist with fear. Five months ago Rachel underwent a transformation - the humanity of her soul won over her demonic blood, determining her complete separation from her monstrous biological father. Until now, they were sure that Trigon had been defeated - she had gotten rid of him with the same weapon he had given her. He ripped her heart from her chest and formed a crystal from it that focused and increased her powers, making her much more powerful than the demon could have expected.

The same crystal that now lies in pieces under the microscope's magnifying glass.

What is all this supposed to mean? The words that got out of Rachel's mouth called the gemstone on her forehead a portal. Does that mean Trigon escaped? Is the prophecy about the Destroyer of Worlds yet to come true, as John Constantine speculated?

Dick sighs heavily, letting his fatigue and powerlessness show. Hunching over he lowers his head and lifts his clasped hands to his forehead, still holding on to Rachel. He closes his eyes, feeling the touch of her delicate fingers just above his brow. Her little ring scratches his skin.

_ Why her? _ He asks silently as his eyes fill with tears. He squeezes them shut, trying to hold it all back.  _ Why does she always have to suffer? She didn't choose this. She never wanted this. _

He wants to scream. Shout as loud and ferociously as his lungs let him until Heaven, Hell and everything in between can hear his anger. He wants to look in the face of the entety who sentenced his little girl to all this suffering and tell them to fuck off. If only they had been given a sign beforehand, something that would have allowed them to prepare rather than be surprised when their guard was down-

_ -Wait. _

_ Fuck… _

The muscles of his entire body turn to stone when it finally comes to him. The truth hits him like a sledgehammer, smashing him to pieces.

_ How could I've been so fucking blind? _

His nightmares. In his head he can see the image of pale Rachel laid in a casket again while a flock of black ravens covers her body. The white raven tried to peck at her gemstone as if to get rid of it, get it out. Was that a warning? He didn't understand it before, now he sees no other explanation.

He opens his eyes and fixes them on the bandage on Rachel's forehead. If the first dream heralded the destruction of the stone, what does the latter mean? She was just a baby and he couldn't even touch her. What is he missing? And that damn white bird, appearing everywhere, haunting him…

He has to get up, stretch his legs and try to remember how to breathe because he feels like he's suffocating. He brushes his lips over Rachel's hand again before setting it down on the bed and rises from the uncomfortable chair, giving Kory a weak smile. She nods slightly, understanding his silent plea for her to take over the watch and moves closer to adjust the pillow under the girl's head. Dick runs his fingers down the back of softly snoring Gar, then heads towards Bruce, who is leaning over the lab table.

Although he doesn't turn around, his father still senses his presence. He can never be approached unnoticed.

"I have to admit Gar is a little genius!" the man says, taking off his protective goggles. Dick notices that one of the stone fragments is immersed in some chemicals. Bruce points at it with his thumb. "He figured it out."

"Yeah, Gar has surprised us with his knowledge many times." he admits, feeling a familiar warmth and pride spread over his heart. He bends down to look into the microscope's lens. "Any results?"

Behind him, he hears a resigned sigh.

"A few but they brought more questions than answers."

He taps his fingers on the keyboard and a computer model of the gemstone in its entirety appears on the screen in front of Dick's eyes.

"The shards show traces of Rachel's DNA, as we expected, but they come not from the crystal itself, but from the remains of her blood on its surface."

"But the stone was made from her heart." Dick points out, frowning. "There was magic involved, but logically speaking the stone is -  _ was _ \- a part of her body, an organ that acts as an amplifier for her power. So it should-"

"Include her DNA?" Bruce finishes for him. "I thought so too. Gar got the idea to study its chemical structure and it turned out..." he leans over the console again to turn on a different schematic. "That it's nothing more than a ruby."

"What?"

Dick throws his father a surprised glance and steps closer to examine the diagrams on the screen. Indeed - the chemical structure, the color, the hardness, all the data is correct. Rachel's stone is no different from a natural red jewel. He looks into the microscope again for a moment and then, using a pair of tweezers, lifts one of the larger pieces to his eyes.

"But how is that possible?" he wonders aloud. "I'm not talking about magic anymore, but… if it's a stone so hard only a diamond can cut it, how the hell did it break like ordinary glass?"

"This is what I'm trying to solve right now." Bruce leans again over the rusty red chemical fluid. Bubbles of gas slowly rise from the stone fragments lying at the bottom of the glass bottle. "But we have to wait until morning for the results."

Dick nods and sets the piece back down. His eyelids feel heavy and his head is pounding so he leans against the desk, clenching his fingers around the cold metal, and closes his eyes, trying to release the pressure on the back of his skull.

He feels the weight of a warm hand on his shoulder.

"Whatever is happening to her, we'll figure it out." he hears his father's soft but certain whisper somewhere near his left ear. "She'll be just fine."

Maybe it's that warm, sympathetic tone, maybe the tender touch of a hand sliding from his shoulder to the back of his neck, but something causes the mask of peace that Dick has been trying to hide behind all night to crack and a soft sob escapes from his mouth. Nobody but Bruce can notice this, and when the son looks at his father, his eyes shine with tears. Tears of fear and desperation he can't hold back anymore. 

"I can't lose her, Bruce." Dick whispers in a barely audible voice, shaking his head like a scared little child. "Not again."

The older man's fingers grip tighter on the nape of his neck and his father takes a step forward while forcing him to look into his eyes. Their faces are just inches apart.

"You are  _ not _ losing your daughter, Dick." Bruce speaks with conviction, insistence and obstinacy. Determination burns in his eyes. "And I am not losing my granddaughter."

They stare intensely at each other for a moment longer before Dick nods slowly, because that's really all he can do right now. A shadow of a smile pulls at his lips though, hearing Bruce refer to Rachel as his granddaughter. The old scary bat becoming a grandpa? He never thought he would see that day coming.

Knowing his message was received and understood his father nods as well and gives him another heartfelt pat on the shoulder before turning away to focus back on his research. The cue is clear as day so Dick steps back and this time makes his way to the other side of the room, where Donna and Diana are glued to screens, searching through the internet and keeping an eye for anything unusual. He taps his sister on the shoulder and she jerks awake, startled. Noticing him she rubs her fist over her eye, not caring about traces of mascara she's smudging down her cheek.

"Sorry." she mumbles. "Didn't mean to-"

"It's okay." he smiles at her. "We're all tired." 

Donna casts a worried glance at the hospital bed set up in the farthest corner in the room. Kory is dozing off in her chair, still holding on to Rachel's hand and Gar is completely out of it, sleeping in a position that will definitely leave him sore in the morning. Dick follows her gaze as she asks.

"Still nothing?"

"No…" he lets out a long, tired sigh. "She's just sleeping, that's all."

Keeping his eyes on them Dick doesn't notice Donna reaching for him until her fingers slip into his hand. He shifts his gaze to her face, instantly noticing concern written all over her features.

"Everything's going to be alright." she says.

He looks down at their hands, brushing his thumb over her knuckles. She's still wearing the ring she borrowed from Kory.

"Yeah, everyone keeps telling me that." he snorts, but his smile fades just as quickly as it appeared. "But after what happened last time…"

"Last time we didn't know what was happening until it was too late." Donna tells him, squeezing his hand. He gives her a sceptical look.

"And now we do?"

" _ Now _ at least we have some clues. Like the prophecy she spilled out."

His eyebrows lift so high they almost touch his hairline.

"You think it's a prophecy?"

"It sounded like it." Diana joins the conversation with a tired exhale, pushing herself away from the computer on a swiveling chair and turns to him. "I didn't figure it out right away, but what happened to Rachel looks a lot like the way prophecies were once revealed to the Delphic oracles."

Donna taps something on the keyboard and graphics showing murals, mosaics and other objects from the times of ancient Greece pop up on the screen. Most of them show women with a stream of smoke coming out of their mouths.

"The Oracle of Delphi has always had its seer, a priestess, who was a mediator between the worlds of Gods and mortals." she begins to explain, switching between graphics. "At the moment of the prophecy being revealed, the spirit of Delphi possessed the body of the priestess, speaking through her."

"Trigon, as one of the most powerful demons, is capable of doing something similar." Diana finishes. "Even when he's trapped."

Donna points her finger at a picture of a vase with a painting of a woman sitting by a fire pit with her hands lifted in the air, clouds of smoke coming from her lips and eyes.

"The only thing different is the lack of smoke. Instead Rachel was covered with some strange symbols."

Dick takes a deep breath, eyes shifting between both women.

"Are you absolutely sure it's Trigon?"

Mother and daughter cross glances.

"There is a chance someone might be taking advantage of his absence or helping him." Donna speaks carefully. "But given the content of this prophecy, the odds are very high."

Dick has to agree with that. He heard every word, they are now engraved in his memory like in stone.

"The Gem was born of Evil's fire, The Gem shall be His portal. He comes to claim, he comes to sire the end of all things mortal." he repeats under his breath. "If it's really him, then it means Rachel didn't kill him back then at Angela's house, she just trapped him in her gemstone. He must have gotten his strength back since then and now he has managed to break free. It's even possible that her illness helped him in that."

Donna leans back in her chair, rubbing her hands over her face.

"Now the question is what he will do next."

"Did it have any impact on the world?" he directs the question to Diana because he can feel the terror is starting to eat him from the inside again and he has to change the subject to not panic. The woman clicks few times, making various articles and video clips appear on the screen.

"Recordings of the red moon flooded social media minutes after the incident. The phenomenon was global, but so far there have been no reports of potential impact. No strange anomalies, no cataclysms. The moon turned red for a moment and then… nothing."

He breathes out a sigh of relief. At least the world is okay for now. He really doesn't have the time or willingness to do anything more than-

"Dick, come here." Kory's voice breaks through the storm of his thoughts. She and Gar stare at him, alarmed. "I think she's waking up."

He's by the bed in a second, leaning over Rachel and holding her hand. The girl frowns, muttering something incomprehensible, but as Dick runs his fingers through her hair, she instinctively turns her head towards him. Her fingers tighten around his, and he happily returns the squeeze.

"C'mon, sweetheart." he encourages her in a whisper, hoping his voice will pull her out of the dream. "Open your eyes."

Rachel struggles with unconsciousness still holding her in a tight grip for a moment longer, but finally her eyelids lift slightly and her gaze focuses on his face.

"Dick?" she mutters. "What's happening?"

He can't help but smile brightly at her, pushing back happy tears gleaming in his eyes.

"Welcome back, Rach."

A sigh of relief spreads through the room as Dick helps her rise to a sitting position. She's still sleepy and weak, staggers a bit too, so he sits down beside her and puts his arm around her so she can lean against him. As her head lands on his shoulder, he presses a tender kiss to her forehead.

Rachel looks at the relieved faces of her loved ones and around the place, realizing she's in an unfamiliar room.

"Where are we?"

"In the Batcave, can you believe?" Gar grins at her, unable to contain his excitement anymore.

"Wait, what?" she frowns, confused, and looks down, only now noticing that she's in a hospital bed. "Why am I…?"

"You don't remember?" Kory puts a hand on the girl's knee, fear rings in her voice again. She and Dick exchange a split-second glance.

Rachel tries to concentrate and Dick pulls her closer, stroking her shoulder reassuringly.

"I was standing by the window." she glances at him. "You called for us but at the same time I noticed the moon and then…"

Her hand rises to her forehead, her fingers brush against the bandage. He can feel her body immediately growing tense against him. She sucks the air into her lungs with a sharp hiss as if she got burned and her eyes widen with fear.

"My stone." she whispers, tapping the place where it should be in panic, as if she's looking for it. When her fingers push against the wound her face twists in pain and a small spot of blood blooms on the dressing, no larger than the head of a pin. Rachel looks up again to look at him, and all Dick can see in his daughter's eyes is pure, paralyzing terror. "What the hell happened to me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While writing this chapter I was finishing reading the last book of The Trials of Apollo series by Rick Riordan, that's why I put that Delphic Oracle reference here.   
> I hope you liked this one, I know it might have been a bit stressful and it's not over (sorry) - next chapter is the aftermath part 2 and honestly, I think it's gonna be the longest chapter in this fic.   
> So get some snacks next time and see you next week!!!!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We never know what tomorrow brings...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELCOME TO CHAPTER 8!!!!  
> Oooof this one is a beast, it's the longest one (by far, I'm still writing so who knows how the finale is gonna look like)  
> Let's just say there a lot of thinking going on here in a short period of time.  
> I hope it doesn't sound stressful.   
> Anyway ENJOY!

"What the hell happened to me?"

Nobody answers her. The silence is stretching, becomes heavy like it's filled with lead, suffocating, unbearable. Everyone around her starts exchanging nervous glances, secretly as if they're trying to hide something from her, and Rachel feels panic rising in her chest with each passing second. She looks from one face to the other, seeing the same expression of confusion and dismay everywhere. They have no idea how to explain to her that on Christmas Eve she found herself in a hospital bed, exhausted, in pain and with no memory of the recent events, while her gemstone had somehow disappeared from her forehead.

She looks back at Dick, who is staring at her with a mix of concern, uncertainty, and his usual guilt. But it can't be his fault, because how could it be? He swallows hard and opens his mouth as if to say something, but no word comes out.

Rachel slowly puts her hand on his forearm, just above his wrist. She tries to control the trembling of her voice so he doesn't sense her fear.

"Dick, tell me." she whispers, pleading. "Please."

He looks into her eyes for one moment more, then sighs and shifts to take her small hand in his much bigger one. The fingers of his other hand tighten on her shoulder and he pulls her closer as he begins to speak.

"I… We don't know yet how to explain it. The moon has turned red and you… it was like something possessed you and it made you say things that-" he throws a glance somewhere behind her, as if seeking help (or permission?) and only continues when he gets it. "You spoke words that sounded… prophetic. And then you fell unconscious and your stone- it broke. Shattered to pieces. We tried to wake you up but nothing worked. You slept for…" He looks quickly at the watch on his wrist. "Five hours."

She places her fingers on the bandage wrapped around her forehead again, examines the area, puts pressure on it. The wound is pulsing and when she prods at it a bit harder, it explodes with fire, but the feeling disappears just as quickly. The pain pushes a groan out of her throat, and the fingers of her other hand grasp Dick's hand tighter. Her eyelids close tightly, but the pain in her skull increases even more at the sight of the strange lines and shapes burned into her eyes like afterimages caused by looking directly into a source of light.

Dick holds her tight as the sensation makes her double over and she bows her head to get rid of it.

"Rachel, maybe you shouldn't-"

"Where is it?" she asks suddenly, hissing words through gritted teeth. "Where's my stone? I need to-"

Before anyone can answer her she breaks out of Dick's embrace and shifts to get out of bed. She's slow, sluggish, her arms start trembling when she rests her weight on them. Nobody is stopping her, though a few pairs of hands reach out to her to help. She shivers as her bare feet touch the cold floor tiles. She pulls herself up and stands, but her legs can't hold her for longer than few seconds and she staggers. Dick acts instantly, catching her at the last minute and stops her from falling. Despite the fatigue paralyzing her, Rachel tries to free herself from his grip - she has to see her crystal, she must see for herself that what they told her is true and check if she could fix it somehow. Maybe it's not too late, maybe she can still put it back together and back in her forehead. But she's too weak and can do nothing when one strong arm wraps around her shoulders, the other slides under her bent knees and Dick lifts her as if she were lighter than a feather and lays her back on the bed.

"Careful." he says quietly, covering her with a blanket. "You're exhausted, honey. You need to take it easy."

"I want- I want to see it. Let me…" she gasps. She's out of breath and the pain is trying to split her skull apart.  _ What is happening with me? _ she thinks as she squeezes her eyes shut to ease the uncomfortable sensation.

Dick's warm hand sinks into her hair, his touch soothing.

"Shhh, okay, okay." he whispers, leaning over her. Bruce's low voice reaches her from a distance, though she can't make out the words. "Rest. We'll show you."

Someone places a round, cool to the touch object in her palm. Rachel pulls herself up slowly and crosses her gaze with Gar, who smiles slightly at her.

"We needed to test it." he says, pointing to the thing in her hand. "But no piece is missing."

She finally looks down, bringing the object to her eyes. It's a transparent glass box a bit smaller than her hand. Inside she can see some red shards with sharp, pointed edges that at first glance look like pieces of ordinary glass, like from a broken bottle. But it's not glass, but a stone made from her own heart.

"How…?" she can't come up with anything else. Her words fail her.

"We're trying to figure it out." Kory speaks softly, rubbing her arm. "The most important thing right now is how you feel."

Rachel looks up. Kory's voice is shaky, cautious, and it's not hard to see why. It was thanks to this crystal that Rachel was able to gain control of her powers and develop her abilities. Without it…

"Honestly I don't know." she admits looking at everyone. "My powers are still here, but… I don't know how to describe it. It's… it's just like in the beginning."

She closes her eyes and tries to focus on it, imagine what is going on inside her. The tender touch of the three people she loves the most - Dick's fingers in her hair, Kory's hand on her shoulder and Gar's hand on her knee - it grounds her, becomes an anchor keeping her from getting lost inside her own mind. With the gemstone, her power was like a beam of light passing through a magnifying glass - formed, focused, precise. Now it's more like the sea during a storm - wild, unpredictable, dangerous. Heavy waves of darkness surge over her, threatening to drown her in the abyss. That's what she used to feel once, long ago, when her powers first manifested and she didn't know what it was or how to control it.

That's how she describes it to them after a long moment of reflection.

"And these strange shapes…" she adds, sighing heavily and hiding her face in her hands. "I see them every time I close my eyes. They… glow like they are made of fire. I don't know what they are, if they are anything at all."

Diana moves away, only to reappear at her bedside with a notebook and a pencil.

"When you lost control of yourself, some glowing symbols covered your body." she explains, handing her the items. "Maybe they are the same symbols you are seeing now. Do you think you can recreate them?"

Rachel looks down at the blank white sheet of paper, then nods.

"I guess… I'll try."

Her mentor gives her a warm, proud smile.

Her hand shakes a little as she takes the pencil between her fingers, but a few deep breaths help her keep it under control. Dick tries to pull away to let her do her work, his hand slips off her back, but Rachel quickly stops him and smiles, putting his hand back on her shoulder.

"No, stay." she says. "It helps me concentrate."

He smiles back and, rubbing her shoulder, he leans in to kiss the side of her head.

"Okay. I'm right here."

She nods and starts drawing.

It's easier than she expected. Lines, bends, loops - all shapes flow out from under her hand like water, so easy and so familiar as if she had been drawing them all her life. She manages to reproduce even the smallest details and after a few minutes she has three complete symbols in front of her. One resembles the letter S, but is more angular and has separate elements in an undefined shape inside of the bends. The other looks like a triangle distorted by waves of water. And the third is deceptively reminiscent of the sun - flames of fire surrounding a diamond shape. The line of these symbols is jagged and broken, resembling a lightning or a crack in the stone.

When she finishes, the pencil rolls from her fingers and falls to the floor. The sound of a piece of wood hitting the tiles is louder than it should be and that makes Rachel realize the whole room is silent, no one is speaking, and each pair of eyes is staring at her so intensely that Rachel has to look away. Without a word she hands the notebook back to Diana and slumps back into Dick's arms, exhausted. She rests her head on his shoulder and closes her eyes, but sleep does not come, it cannot, because there is one more thing - probably the most important - that doesn't give her peace.

"You mentioned earlier that I said something." she tells him without looking up. "When... when it happened. What was it?"

As soon as she asks this question, she can feel a wave of fear flooding him. Even with her powers in disarray, she can sense the concern and anxiety growing within him, even as he tries to hide it behind a warm smile and a calming light tone.

"Don't worry about it now, Rachel." he says, pulling her closer. "You should rest."

But she's not so easy to trick. Such behavior does not diminish her worries, only intensifies them even more. So she straightens her back and looks directly at him with her piercing blue eyes.

"Dick? What did I say?"

He sighs knowing he won't hide it from her. He takes her hands in his again and his lips tighten, forming a thin line. She feels as if every person in the room is holding their breath.

A whole minute passes before Dick starts talking.

"The Gem was born of Evil's fire, the Gem shall be his portal. He comes to claim, he comes to sire the end of all things mortal." he takes a break to let the words settle in the air. He doesn't look back at her until now. "That's… that's what you said."

Rachel starts shaking her head, contradicting and rejecting his words even before they leave his mouth. Tears fill her eyes and the only thought that rattles inside of her skull trying to escape like a bird from its cage is  _ no, no, it's impossible, no, not him, please, not him. _ She doesn't even realize when she starts saying those words aloud until Dick's trembling hands land on her shoulders. But it's not him who's trembling, it's  _ her _ , her whole body is shaking as if she's being electrocuted. Her lungs contract painfully, cutting off the air supply, and the words thrown out like from a machine gun turn into an incomprehensible stream of sounds filled with terror.

"Hey, hey, shh…" Dick whispers as he pulls her to him and closes his arms around her, rocking her gently. "My little girl…"

She clings to him with her whole body, latches onto him desperately as a loud broken sob comes out of her throat. Her fingers curl into fists, clutching folds of his white shirt. Her tears, tinged black with already smeared mascara stain his collar, but Dick doesn't care, he just presses her tighter to his chest and places his hand on her head, gently brushing her hair.

"But how?" she weeps against his shoulder. "I killed him. I destroyed him. It can't be him, it can't-"

"We don't know if it's him." Dick tells her and leans back to wipe her tears away. His warm hand stays on her cheek, cupping it and Rachel leans into his touch. "Nothing else happened. It doesn't have to be-"

"But who else could it be?" her voice breaks, high pitched and shrill like fingernails scratching a blackboard. Tears run down her cheeks like waterfalls. "The Gem was born of Evil's fire, the Gem shall be His portal - don't you see? I'm the Gem! I've always been the portal. God, Dick… it can't be him, please. I- I can't-"

She breaks down completely. She clings to his chest again, crying her eyes out on his shirt. Dick just holds her tight, stroking her back. His lips press against her hair, forehead, wet cheek and nose leaving a trail of tender kisses.

"Shh, it's okay, honey." he breathes out and burrows his face in her hair. "It's gonna be okay, Rachel. I won't let him hurt you, not again."

She can hear him and she knows his words are true, but his assurances fail to chase away the paralyzing terror that has overwhelmed her. His arms wrap tighter around her back, drawing her sobbing form as close as possible. But the dam already broke. One of her worst nightmares came true. The broken gemstone is an undeniable proof.

Trigon is back.

Dick adjusts his hold on her and starts rocking her again. With his cheek pressed against her forehead, he cradles her to his chest as if she were a little girl. And that's how she feels right now - little, vulnerable, nothing but a child with the weight of the world on her shoulders. She hides her face in the crook of his neck and lets herself be rocked like a boat in the calm ocean waves until her crying is completely gone.

"Shhh, I'm here, my little one." his whisper reaches her as though through a thick fog. His soft lips brush against her forehead. "You're exhausted. Let's get you to bed, huh? You'll get some more sleep."

Her arms immediately curl around his neck and she presses herself closer to him.

"Stay."

Her own voice seems small even to her. And maybe some other time she would be ashamed of how childish it sounds. But Dick is right - she's tired beyond human comprehension, painfully sore and she really,  _ really _ doesn't want to be left alone right now. At this point, she doesn't care that she has an audience.

Dick lifts her chin with two fingers so she can look at him. His face is only inches from hers and his eyes are filled with pure and boundless love. That alone makes Rachel want to cry all over again.

"I'm not going anywhere, baby." he assures her with a tender smile and wipes away her last tears. "I promise. Now hold on tight."

Rachel nods and tightens her grip around his neck while Dick slides his arm under her knees again and lifts her as easily as if she weighed nothing. Bruce walks over to pat his son's shoulder reassuringly and smiles softly at her before disappearing from her sight. Sounds and images begin to elude her, fatigue slowly takes the center stage. She lets Kory kiss her goodnight on the top of her head, only half registering the tears on the woman's cheeks. A moment later Gar appears in her place only squeezing her shoulder. Dick says something to them but Rachel doesn't even try to listen to it anymore. She turns her head the other way and hides her face in his collarbone, away from blinding lights, conversations and stares.

"Sleep, baby girl." she hears a soft whisper before she falls asleep. "I'm right here with you."

She doesn't remember when Dick puts her to bed. She doesn't even know it wasn't her bed at all.

* * *

Her sleep is dreamless. The night passes in the blink of an eye which considering what happened in the last hours of the previous day should be considered a blessing. In a split-second moment of consciousness she can feel a 

familiar heartbeat under her ear and two strong arms encircling her waist, keeping her in a tight, secure hold. Dick's chest rises and falls slowly but surely and it lulls Rachel back to sleep in an instant. 

The bed is empty when she wakes up. A ray of bright winter sunlight cuts the room in half through a split between closed curtains. The sheets are warm and the walls seem familiar. She smiles at the cuts and scratches at the ceiling of what she now recognizes as Dick's old bedroom.

The electronic clock says it's 9:15 a.m. She finds a little note next to it, torn off some notebook. She quickly scans the words written in a little rough but elegant handwriting.

_ Sleep as long as you need. We won't start opening presents without you. - D. _

Her heart swells at the message. She puts the note back on the bedside table with a soft smile tugging at her lips and goes to the large windows to open the curtains. The light reflected from the white sparkling snow is blinding but once she gets used to it the sight is breathtaking. It must have been snowing throughout the night because the layer of fluff is a lot thicker than before. Movement of the fabric scares off some birds perching on the branches of the old willow tree. The sun is climbing up the sky, bathing everything in golden morning light.

It doesn't look at all like one of the most dangerous demons is on the loose, ready to destroy the world at any given moment.

_ Stop it. _

Rachel abruptly steps away from the window and plops back down on the bed, giving out a frustrated huff. She hides her face in her hands and leans down, trying to push unwanted thoughts out of her head but they keep coming back. 

_ It's all my fault. _

She knows what others would say if they heard her talking like that. Dick would fiercely try to convince her it's not true, probably even take the blame on himself. Kory would swear they are going to do everything in their power to protect her and stop what's coming. And Gar would nudge her and tell her that if she kicked Trigon's ass once, she can sure as hell do it again.

She can't help but smile - she can clearly hear their voices in her head saying those things. And she knows they're true - because they are true to them. She should honestly borrow some of their optimism.

The perspective of stepping out of this room and facing other people fills her with dread, but at the same time she's longing to not be alone with her thoughts. She wants to shed the layer of sleep, worry and pain and just act normal, because it's Christmas morning and she's in this amazing house with the people she loves the most in the whole world and who love her just as much, and they were supposed to be happy. She can't hide from destiny but she can't hide from them either.

Shower it is, then. Getting herself ready for the day should help her clear her head. So Rachel gets up, opens the curtains fully and makes the bed, then closes the door behind her and heads to her own room.

It's time to face reality.

* * *

The wound on the forehead isn't deep and, fortunately, the pain has stopped. Rachel removes the dressing from her head as carefully as possible, but when she tears off the patch, she pulls the blood clot with it. A fresh red drop shows up at its place, but she quickly wipes it off with her finger.

It kinda looks like a small crater, only an inch long, just like the stone. The edges of skin around it are inflamed and hurt at the touch. She finds herself spending a few minutes staring at this spot in the mirror, using her imagination to try to bring the stone back to its rightful place.

She used to hate it. She treated it like a flaw, a mark that binds her to this monster. It hurt her, both emotionally and physically, and it increased the range of her abilities, but without proper training they were out of her control. It made her hurt both herself and her loved ones. Many times she wanted to tear the gemstone out of her body, get rid of it once and for all and forget how and from whom she got it.

Then she learned to accept it. The training given by Dick and the teachings of the Amazons on Themyscira helped her get used to it and treat it as a part of herself. Now that her old wish has come true and the stone has been destroyed, it feels like she has lost a limb.

How will this affect her powers? Will she lose the control she has worked so hard for? Will they become unpredictable and dangerous as they were in the beginning? Will her black-eyed demonic reflection come back to slowly drive her insane with it's taunting and harassment?

She stares at her own reflection in the mirror. Pale face, hair a mess, blue eyes. She's herself. For now.

She throws the used dressing in the trash, puts the black dress with tiny blue flowers pattern aside and steps under the stream of warm water, longing to cleanse not only her body but also her mind. Wound stings a bit from her shampoo but Rachel just clenches her jaw and pushes through the pain. As she shuts her eyes, she keeps seeing these strange symbols again on the back of her eyelids. Diana recalled last night that the same symbols covered her body during this rather unusual incident. And this… prophecy that she can't get out of her head. The words circulate in her mind, ominous and final, and she tries to find some kind of a catch, an opening or a loophole in them to see if there is some way to stop what they foretold.

Because she doesn't want to be a portal, she doesn't want to contribute to the destruction of any of the worlds, especially this one. She doesn't want to be a part of it. She never did.

Fear clenches its fist around her chest. She hoped all this apocalyptic nonsense of her demon father was behind her. She thought she killed him. She should have made sure she did.

_ Maybe that was his plan all along? _ She realizes suddenly with horror.  _ Maybe that's what he gave me the stone for? _

But she underwent the purification almost six months ago. Demonic part of her soul has been destroyed, severing her ties with Trigon.

Then why is this still happening?

Rachel sighs heavily and shakes her head.

"Okay, that's it." she whispers to herself, putting an end to that trail of thoughts. She gets dressed in comfortable jeans and her favorite t-shirt, puts a little foundation on her cheeks to hide the traces of tiredness, and highlights her eyes with eyeliner and mascara just like Kory taught her. While drying her hair with a blow dryer, she tries to focus on positive things, like the breakfast that's waiting for her - knowing Dick, he probably prepared something special - and the prospect of opening Christmas gifts. No matter what happened last night it's still Christmas. She should at least try to enjoy that.

Before leaving the bathroom she takes one last look at her forehead. The lack of the stone makes her feel strangely exposed, almost as if she was naked. The wound is in plain sight, she can't do anything about that, but everyone in this house already saw what happened. She just hopes no one will be staring.

* * *

She finds them in the large kitchen on the ground floor. Already from the hallway Rachel can hear that they are engaged in a serious conversation that abruptly stops as soon as she crosses the threshold. Dick leans forward with his hands resting on the edge of the kitchen island, his arms muscles tense. Donna and Kory are standing opposite him on the other side of the countertop, the brunette with her hands on her hips and the redhead with her arms crossed over her chest. They both turn their eyes at her but almost instantly look away. Gar is sitting on a stool right in the middle, eating pancakes with whipped cream and blueberries.

At the sight of her, Dick slowly relaxes and his face lights up with a smile, though that's not enough to hide his distress from her.

"Hi, sweetheart!" he says softly. "Did you get enough sleep?"

He scoops her into his arms and pulls her to his chest, pressing a kiss to her hair.

"Yeah, I think so." she responds honestly, smiling at the gesture. She loves when he does it. "But now I'm starving."

"C'mon, sit down." Kory calls to her and points to the seat next to her. "You are just in time, Gar hasn't devoured it all yet."

"Hey!" he protests with his mouth full of whipped cream. "I'm a growing boy - a vegetarian one at that - so I have to eat a lot!"

Dick pats him on the shoulder, laughing.

"Don't worry, we'll find the right diet for you."

" _ Please _ , not the cauliflower pizza again."

Everyone in the kitchen bursts out laughing and the atmosphere relaxes. Rachel goes on with her batch of pancakes with an extra dose of cream and blueberries.

"Okay, have fun with the presents." Donna says after a moment and heads towards the door to the hallway. "I'll check on Diana. See if she found anything."

Dick is watching her go, then turns and grins at the two teenagers.

"So, are you guys ready?"

Gar and Rachel exchange excited glances and smile to each other with their mouths full of food. Kory comes to stand behind them and ruffles their hair with maternal tenderness. And although this morning is not much different from many other mornings, when the four of them have breakfast together, laughing and bantering, Rachel feels that something is in the air, and it's not just what happened yesterday. She sees it in the look Dick and Kory share above their heads, in Dick's tense and stressed demeanor hidden behind fake smiles and jokes and in how he can't hold her gaze for more than two seconds, as if he wants to keep something from her. In the worried expression on Kory's face, her knotted eyebrows and the thin line of her mouth she can see in the reflection perfectly visible in the polished kitchen cabinets. Even Gar's smile seems somewhat… incomplete. They aren't telling her something. And she's not sure how much she should worry about it.

* * *

"Dreams?" Kory points a glare at him, so sharp it can rival the finest blades in Batman's arsenal. "So you're saying that for a whole fucking week you've been having nightmares that most likely predicted what happened to Rachel?"

Dick exhales through his nose and looks away, resting his hands on the countertop of the kitchen island. He had to finally tell them. He hadn't slept all night, wondering if yesterday's events were in fact his fault. He's exhausted and scared and he can't keep it a secret any longer.

The room is silent, even Gar stops eating and stares at him expectantly, but he has no idea how to explain it in any other way.

"I know that sounds crazy-"

"And you didn't say anything?!"

He has no answer to that. Indeed, he has failed on that front. He should have told them what was going on. He should have learned long ago that dreams aren't always just dreams.

"I didn't know what to do." he admits breathlessly. "I was sure they were just stupid dreams, I didn't see any deeper meaning in them until it was after the fact. I thought- I thought it was because of… what happened to her last time. I had nightmares for months. I just thought they came back."

Donna gets up from her seat to pour herself a cup of coffee from the pot.

"I take Rachel doesn't know?" she asks, then takes a sip. Dick rubs his temple while taking another deep breath.

"She noticed something was wrong, but I didn't tell her the details."

"And that was your first mistake." Gar cuts in, drawing the attention of the other three. "Because she was losing her mind trying to figure out what was going on."

"She talked to you?"

The boy puts his fork down on his plate and takes a sip of apple juice.

"Three days ago. She was really worried. I told her not to be, because maybe it was the stress of the holidays and coming here doing this to you and once we go home everything will go back to normal, but I guess I was wrong."

Dick drops his head and drags his hand over his face. Great. He knew perfectly well that Rachel realized there was something wrong with him. More than once she tried to get information out of him. And he kept being stubbornly silent.

"I didn't want to scare her." he says after a moment of silence. "I- I thought it would be better to wait. I only had two dreams. I was betting that they would either disappear or I would learn more from them."

"What were they about?" Donna steps closer to stand next to Kory and rests her hands on her hips.

"In the first one I saw Rachel in a casket and a flock of birds was trying to peck at her gemstone."

"So this would mean destroying it."

Dick nods.

"And the other one?" Kory asks, frowning.

"I... I don't know what that could mean. I saw a baby in the crib and that baby was definitely Rachel, though I have no idea how I knew that." he takes a deep breath in preparation for the next part, feeling shivers running down his back when he thinks about it. "But when I tried to pick her up, my hands went right through her like through air. Just like… like she was a ghost."

His sister and his girlfriend exchange alarmed looks. Gar looks down at his plate of pancakes and pushes it away with a scowl on his face as if he has suddenly lost his appetite. The silence becomes tense and heavy, unbearable. Nobody says anything, but Dick knows not everything has been said. He closes his eyes, his fingers gripping the marble top so tightly his knuckles turn white.

"There's something else."

He doesn't look at them, but hears Kory let out an exasperated sigh. Donna probably rolls her eyes.

"Fucking hell…"

"I swear to all the Gods, Grayson-"

"Guys-" Gar's head jolts upward, his eyes staring at the entrance to the kitchen. He pulls his plate back to himself. Rachel walks in only a second later. 

The first thing Dick notices is the lack of bandage on her forehead. The stone wound is red but not bleeding, that's a good sign. The second thing is the appearance of dark shadows under her eyes that even a delicate makeup can't hide.

"Hi, sweetheart! Did you get enough sleep?" he asks, bringing a smile to his face and trying to sound casual. He walks over to her and hugs her, kissing the top of her head. Her hair smells like strawberries and is still a little damp, she must have washed it recently.

"Yeah, I think so." she murmurs into his shirt, then pulls away and smiles at him. "But now I'm starving."

She is exhausted but she tries to hide it. She's holding her head high, ignoring the fact that something is missing and letting them know that they should ignore it too. She doesn't say it outright, but he can see Rachel wants to be treated normally. Dick crosses his gaze with Kory and they both agree to leave this conversation for later. She offers the girl a seat next to her and sets her a batch of pancakes.

They talk, laugh and joke just like every morning, acting like a normal family. And yet the bad omen is hanging over their heads, they feel it and they can't ignore it. But they will try. For Rachel's sake, they'll try.

* * *

The sight of the kids opening their presents is one of the most beautiful that Dick has ever seen. He doesn't know what is better - their total surprise when they found out that this whole mountain of packages, both smaller and larger, is really just for them or the joy of what they found inside. Gar, wearing three new pun T-shirts at a time, cannot decide which game gadget is better, although considering how tenderly he moves his hand over the PS5 box every now and then, the choice is rather obvious. There are several games and books scattered around him, but he is busy looking at one of the collectibles that he is now holding in his hands.

Rachel is sitting on the carpet surrounded by a collection of new top-notch art supplies - sets of pencils, crayons, markers, paints and brushes. In the largest box, behind her back, there is a new easel and few canvas, while a brand new iPad is resting on her lap. For months she had been saying that she would like to learn digital art, but there is no way for her to do it. She also has a few thick volumes on magic and the occult at hand, but she can't take her eyes off the new equipment.

Both teens are so busy checking everything out and showing each other things that they completely stop paying attention to Dick and Kory, who are standing near one of the windows watching the whole scene with smiles on their lips. His girlfriend holds her phone in her hands and documents everything, taking tons of pictures. And the moment is worth immortalizing, because looking at these two, at their joy and excitement, his heart swells in his chest. That's all he ever wanted, isn't it? His family, happy and complete.

But for how long?

This beautiful, perfect image unfortunately is being destroyed by a certain detail that cannot be ignored - the wound on Rachel's forehead is a painful reminder of what happened in this room less than twenty-four hours ago. The shadow of the prophecy hangs over them like a heavy cloud, and it's difficult to predict when the first lightning will strike them. The present sense of peace is only a calm before the impending storm, which is why Dick is unable to fully enjoy the moment.

"Where are the adoption papers?" Kory asks him suddenly, whispering so that Gar and Rachel won't hear her.

"In my room." he answers right away without taking his eyes off the children, feeling another stone settling in the pit of his stomach, pulling him down.

"Then what are you waiting for? Go get them!"

He turns his head and their eyes meet.

"Honestly, Kory… I'm not sure if I should."

Her smile fades in a split second, replaced by worry and misunderstanding. She looks back at Rachel and Gar but they are too busy to notice anything, so she pulls him aside, her fingers tightening on his arm.

"Don't tell me you changed your mind."

"No, Kory! Of course not."

She blinks twice and frowns as she crosses her arms over her chest.

"Then why-"

"You saw what happened yesterday." he interrupts her, also lowering his voice to a whisper. "Losing the stone, that prophecy… I'm scared what that might mean for us… for her."

He turns his head to hang his gaze on his daughter again. Rachel is showing something to Gar in one of the books about types of magic Diana gave her. They both laugh at it out loud, but she seems to feel his gaze on her because she looks up to give him a wide smile, then flips the page and goes back to the conversation. Yet Dick can't look away.

She is so young and at the same time growing up so fast. Next year she will be turning sixteen and she already has the fate of the whole world on her shoulders. A legacy that she never wanted and cannot reject. He's trying to protect her with all his strength, from all sides, but he can't protect her from everything, no matter how much he wants to.

A warm hand lands on his cheek and forces him to look away. Kory looks into his eyes, her thumb lightly stroking his skin.

"I know it's scary." she says. "We never know what tomorrow brings. Which is why you shouldn't wait."

He sighs heavily and covers her hand with his. He closes his eyes for a moment, then pulls it away from his cheek, though he doesn't let go.

"I… I don't want to overwhelm her, you know?" he finally admits. "This is a big decision not only for us but for them too. Gar and Rachel need to make it together with clear minds and no pressure. And in the face of what is about to happen-"

"It may  _ not _ happen." Kory squeezes his hand, trying to convince him. "We have to be ready for anything, but we must not let dark thoughts take over us."

Dick looks down and runs his thumb over the spot on her hand where the engagement ring is supposed to appear in a few days. But should he propose to her knowing that they might soon have to face the end of the world? In movies, during such situations people often rush with such decisions - they go down the aisle, arrange the formalities and get it done because the end may come at any moment. But this is real life, and he has no intention of giving false hope to anyone.

So he gives her a comforting smile and looks into her eyes again.

"I'll wait a few more days. Let's focus on the current issue first and find out more. This is a priority."

Kory smiles back and takes a deep breath, nodding.

"Yes, sir."

As they finish their conversation, Gar and Rachel jump to their feet and run to them, pulling them both into a group hug.

"Thank you so much!" Rachel says before pressing kisses to their cheeks.

"So you like it?" Kory asks, pointing to Gar's T-shirt.

"Hell yeah!" he replies, bouncing with excitement. "You guys are the best."

Dick chuckles and puts his hands on their shoulders.

"Good because it's not over."

The kids look at each other with wide eyes and their smiles get even bigger.

"It's not?" Kory asks, surprised. Dick shakes his head, then goes over to the Christmas tree and pulls out two small packages from behind the remaining presents. Nobody knew about them except him. They were supposed to be an addition to the adoption news, but even without it they are a perfect gift.

"It wasn't planned until last minute, really." he explains while returning to them. "I only got the idea yesterday morning. But I figured it's the perfect time to give you this. Open it."

Gar and Rachel tear open the decorative paper, revealing small black boxes, and inside they find bracelets - thin silver chains with a pendant in the shape of spread angel wings. They both gasp in surprise and carefully pick the pieces of jewellery in their fingers, examining them closely.

"Oh, wow." Rachel says quietly. "Dick, this is beautiful."

"Incredible." Gar echoes her, smiling.

"And they have great meaning." he tells them and steps closer to help Rachel fasten the bracelet. When the silver wings glisten on her wrist, he shifts to Gar to do the same and continues. "You see… these bracelets once belonged to my parents. The wings were something of a… an unofficial symbol of our family, the Flying Graysons. But not only that. My mother always said it gave her strength to face the world, reminded her she had someone to live for and to fight for."

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out another silver bracelet, identical to the other two.

"I have mine too. I haven't worn it in years because… I had no one to live for, not in that sense." Speaking, he wraps the silver chain around his wrist and fastens it with an agile movement of his fingers, then takes a deep breath and looks the kids in the eyes. "Until I met you. I found someone who needed me, inspired me to become a better man, and that brought me right back to… life, I guess. And made these little wings meaningful again."

With each passing word it's harder for him to talk. He wanted to make it short and simple but there is nothing short and simple about the magnitude of his feelings for these two amazing, brilliant kids. Tears appear in their eyes and neither of them tries to hide it. Dick himself feels his throat tightening with emotion. Kory must have felt it as well because she puts her hand on his back, stroking him comfortingly and he can notice her trembling lip. He smiles at her and clears his throat then takes Gar and Rachel's hands in his, squeezing tight.

"The three of you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I know I probably sound sappy and lame but you literally saved my life."

"You saved us too." Rachel reminds him in a shaky voice.

"You gave us a fresh start." Gar adds and wipes his wet cheeks with his sleeve. "We will never be able to repay you for that."

Dick smiles and takes a step closer, bringing his hands to their cheeks and wiping the tears from Gar's face with his thumb.

"You don't have to repay me for anything. You are  _ my kids _ . There is absolutely  _ nothing _ I wouldn't do for you."

He pulls them closer and presses them against her chest, hugging them tightly. Their arms circle his waist as they burrow their faces in his shoulders. Gar laughs softly while a muffled sob comes out of Rachel's mouth. Dick presses his lips to their hair, letting himself shed a few tears, then meets Kory's gaze as she presses her hand to her mouth, crying softly. Maybe he's decided to wait a little longer with the official adoption, but that doesn't mean he won't tell them how much they mean to him.

"I love you both so much." he whispers to them and hugs them tighter.

"We love you too, dad." Gar mumbles into his shoulder. Rachel laughs through her tears.

"A lot."

They stand there for a while longer, not wanting to leave each other's embrace, but eventually the kids move away from him and begin wiping their tears, laughing at each other.

"Kory's going to get one too, right?" Rachel asks him suddenly with hope in her eyes.

"Of course!" he assures her and walks over to his girlfriend to put his arms around her waist. Kory rests her hands on his chest and smiles sweetly. "She's part of the family after all."

He leans in and kisses her, gently at first, but more passionately as the seconds pass. But before they lose themselves in each other again, as they tend to do, they hear a loud giggle coming from the two teenagers.

"Ewww!" Gar and Rachel say in unison, grinning to each other which makes Dick and Kory crack and smile against each other's lips. She steps away first and gives the kids an innocent look.

"What?"

Gar tries to suppress a giggle.

"If you want to continue…  _ this _ , get a room."

Rachel presses a hand to her mouth to keep from laughing as well.

"Mhmm. We don't need to see the details."

Dick's mouth twitches, corners lifting upwards to form a smirk. He glances back to Kory, their eyes communicating without words and a second later the entire house is filled with squeals of surprise and happy infectious laughter as the two teenagers run through the maze of hallways and staircases, being chased by their parents. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm giving you a break from cliffhangers... For now.   
> I hope you enjoyed and see you next week!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Complications and riddles are no fun... Neither are secrets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELCOME TO CHAPTER 9!  
> Brace yourselves, we're picking up speed and turning up hurt. 
> 
> Sorry?

"Okay, so what do we have so far?"

Dick's question hangs in the air as he's crossing the length of one of the largest living rooms in Wayne Manor, getting everyone's attention. And there's no one missing, everyone is there for their briefing regarding Rachel's situation. It's been five days since the Christmas Eve incident and the entire family has been working tirelessly trying to figure out what's happening. Other members of the team who are not present had been informed and ordered to report if they notice anything worth attention in the world that might be tied to the case.

"No outside news so far." Donna reports from her spot on a black leather couch, not even lifting her eyes from her laptop placed on her crossed legs. "The Blood Moon - as the Internet named it - didn't cause any major events in the world and the noise around it had faded. The world is quiet."

"We've run all the possible tests on the gemstone." Gar's voice reaches him from one of the armchairs by the fireplace he and Rachel are currently occupying. He's scrolling through something on a large tablet while the girl is rolling a piece of red stone between her fingers, keeping her eyes on it. "Chemical, physical, radiation - you name it. But there's nothing out of the ordinary with it. Just a simple ruby, without any extra properties."

"And there's no magic in it either." Rachel adds, closing her fist around the crystal. "I can't feel a thing."

Dick's eyes stay on her for a moment longer. He can tell she can feel his gaze from the way her body tensed up even though her eyes stayed on the item in her hand - she knows she's being watched and while she might not like it, she's not objecting. He does a quick check up in his head, but just like for these last few days, he finds nothing he should worry about. The wound on her forehead is healing nicely and her overall health seems to be in perfect shape. He's also been keeping tabs on her powers but everything is normal on this front as well. She did report feeling imbalanced right after, but now everything is back to the way it was before losing her gemstone, which is a relief, especially to her. It was the thing she was most worried about, losing control of her powers, but thankfully that's not happening.

And yet all that peace feels… unsettling. It's itching under his skin, like he's waiting for something but he doesn't know what. Like he's expecting everything to crash the moment he stops keeping his guard up. His dreams stopped coming after the incident, which only proved his theory about them being prophetic in some way, but he hasn't cracked the code on their full meaning yet. And he hasn't seen the white raven again since that moment in the garden, which is both relieving and confusing. He also hasn't told anyone in this room about the existence of the bird yet and he knows he has to at some point, but something is stopping him. He just needs to know more, he keeps telling himself. But what is  _ more _ exactly? He's not sure. But he might be running out of time to figure that out.

"I think I have something." Diana breaks his train of thoughts by barging in through the large double door with a massive book in her hands. She walks into the middle of the room, sets the heavy leather bound tome on the table and starts flipping pages. As she does so, the others gather around her to see what she's up to.

"I reached out to other Amazons stationed around the world, sent them a copy of those symbols." she explains. "This book was delivered to me this morning all the way from The University of Oxford."

"Damn, they're fast." Gar murmurs under his breath.

Wonder Woman keeps turning the pages until she finds the one she's been looking for, almost in the middle of the book, and taps her index finger on a drawing that is covering half the page, with an inscription in Latin under it. Upon a closer look Dick realizes it's the S-shaped symbol like the one that appeared on Rachel's body while reciting the prophecy, identical to the drawing she made for Diana after she woke up. Rachel notices that as well and points it out aloud.

"There's nothing on the other two you showed me." Diana tells her. "But this one shows up quite frequently throughout history, dating back thousands of years. It's been hidden in paintings and other forms of art, even carved in objects made of wood. Found mostly in temples and churches. It's like an easter egg - hidden in plain sight."

Dick keeps staring at the symbol. Again, the familiarity of it strikes him in the eyes, he is sure he must have seen it before. But where? Where could he possibly-

Then it hits him. 

The crib.

In his dream baby Rachel was lying in an old-fashioned crib made of wood carved with intricate patterns. But now as the image comes back to him, he realizes it weren't just random patterns, but those exact symbols. He sucks in a sharp breath of surprise but is quick enough to school his expression to look more neutral. From what he can see, no one noticed.

"But what does it mean?" he asks.

"All the previous sources referred to it only as a key, but without further explanation." the brunette says glancing quickly at him then back at the book, moving her finger to the words beneath the drawing. "But this one actually has a name for it. Azarath."

"Wait - Azarath?" Kory's eyebrows rise as she leans on the wooden table, eyes firmly focused on Diana. "Like Rachel's birth-mother? Angela Azarath?"

Rachel's eyes go round when she lifts her gaze from the book to look at her mentor.

"But how?"

"Because Azarath appears to be the name of a dimension Trigon came from." Bruce announces matter-of-factly as he turns away from the window overlooking the snow-covered fields around the property. "I stumbled upon that word in my research as well. There wasn't much of an explanation on it either, but in the few sources I've looked through the name Azarath seems to be referring to a place."

Donna nods as she puts her fingers to her chin, her eyebrows furrowing.

"Angela Azarath was chosen by Trigon to carry his child. She was a devoted follower. Changing her last name to honor that and fit the role more is a possibility. And what's better than the name of her beloved's kingdom?"

"That does sound like her." Rachel agrees and goes back to staring at the symbol. She leans in close and puts her entire focus into it, so much that Dick can almost see gears turning in her head. Everybody's watching her now, waiting on what she's gonna say and she can feel every set of eyes on her. It makes her uncomfortable, Dick sees that clearly, so he moves to stand beside her and starts rubbing her back, both for comfort and to keep her grounded. He can feel her relax a bit the moment he starts doing it. 

"So… if Azarath is the place Trigon comes from and that symbol is the key…" she slowly lifts her gaze to look at him and his heart almost breaks at the sight of fear behind her blue eyes. "That means I'm the door."

"We don't know that-" he tries to tell her but she cuts him off by shaking her head.

"The Gem shall be His portal, remember?" she reminds him. "Trigon created that gem from my heart and I am starting to think he did it for this very purpose. It wasn't just to boost my power, I think it was his plan B. So if the first time doesn't work out, he has a way back."

"I wonder why he didn't use it sooner." Gar says, also having his eyes on the book. "It's been what, two years?"

"Maybe he wasn't strong enough." Donna suggests, looking back at Rachel. "After all you did get rid of him in a matter of minutes after he gave you that gemstone. He underestimated you and payed the price. You didn't kill him like you thought but you kicked his ass enough for him to crawl back where he came from to regenerate."

Rachel lowers her gaze, crossing her arms over her chest and starts biting at her bottom lip. 

"I should have made sure he was dead." she mutters under her breath.

Kory steps closer and places a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"It's not your fault, sweetheart." she tells her, making her look up. Dick's heart clutches in his chest at the way his daughter's eyes glisten with tears she's refusing to shed. "You couldn't have known. None of us could. We went on our way, happy that it's over and you're okay, and we didn't even think to check."

Rachel stares into the woman's eyes for a moment longer before nodding slowly. Dick's hand goes back to rubbing her back and she happily leans into him.

"Now we need to figure out these other two symbols." she sighs, turning her head to him for a moment before looking back at her drawing that Diana placed on the table next to the book. "How they fit into all of this, what do they-"

She stops suddenly and clutches her forehead, hissing in pain. All eyes focus on her again, concern appearing on everyone's faces.

"You okay, Rach?" Gar asks carefully, watching the girl squeeze her eyes shut and shake her head as if to get rid of something.

"Yeah, I'm fine." she waves him off. "I just… I don't know. That was weird- AGH!"

This time the sensation is so strong that she doubles over, clutching her head. Dick's hold on her tightens as he leans down to her, while his head dangerously flashbacks to those seemingly non-threatening headaches that ended up almost taking her life.

"Rachel, what's going on?"

"I don't know." she gasps. Her body trembles every few seconds. "I hear something- agh… It's- ripping my… my brain apart."

He exchanges an alarmed glance with Kory and Gar. Neither of them say anything, but the same bad feeling lurks in their eyes. Panic grows in his chest with incredible speed.

"Okay, Rachel. Listen." he leans down to her again and pushes the hair back from her face. He checks the wound on her forehead, but nothing is happening with it. "Take a deep breath. Just try, okay? Breathe."

She turns and hides her face in his chest.

"Dick, please… make it stop. It- it hurts."

He hugs her tightly, staring helplessly at everyone. Kory and Gar are just as scared, and just like him they don't know what to do. Bruce is already whispering to Alfred, sending him off to prepare what's necessary for treatment. The butler nods shortly and runs out of the room and Bruce turns back to look at his son and granddaughter.

"I know, honey." Dick whispers to her, stroking her head. "We're going to figure this out, I-."

Out of the corner of his eye, he notices movement outside one of the windows and when he looks in that direction his heart almost stops.

Red eyes, staring at him as if to challenge him. White feathers, shining in the bright winter sun. Sharp, curved beak hitting the glass as eagerly as if it's trying to break it. And dozens, if not hundreds of its black kin sitting on the branches of a tree.

Rachel trembles beside him, snapping him out of his momentary trance. Only then does Dick notice that every spasm going through her body coincides in time with every smack of the white raven's beak against the window. He clenches his jaw as it reaches him and presses his daughter closer to him, pointing his furious glare at the bird.

_ You're the one doing this to her. _

The raven stops for a moment as if he heard his thoughts. It lets out one long croak and goes back to his task. The choir of other birds echo him before flying off the tree in a hoard of black feathers.

His father walks up to him, glancing between his face and the window.

"Dick?" he asks cautiously, looking confused at his startled expression. "What are you looking at?"

"You don't see it?"

"See what?"

"Dick, we need to do something." Kory urges him, placing a hand on his shoulder. He snaps out of whatever he just saw in an instant. "She's getting worse."

It's true. Rachel continues to shake, crying softly, and this damned bird continues to bang its beak on the window.

"Infirmary." Dick breathes out, trying to swallow back his fear. "Now."

When they are at the door he stops for a moment and turns one last time to look at the window.

But the white raven is already gone, as if it was never there.

* * *

The farther they move away from the room, the weaker her pain grows, but it doesn't go away completely. When they reach the infirmary section of the Batcave Dick immediately sets Rachel down on the bed. She's still clutching her head, gasping for air and he has to pry her hands away to put electrodes on her temples. She's keeping her eyes firmly closed as he tells her to breathe and she listens to him, inhaling deeply through her nose because her jaw is locked from pain.

"That's right, honey." he whispers to her, stroking her cheek. His other hand is holding hers tightly. "That's my girl. Breathe, Rachel."

He keeps repeating the breathing exercise with her until her shivers lessen a little, then he moves to the side to let Alfred come closer and shine a light into Rachel's eyes, checking her pupils. 

"How is she?" Dick asks, buzzing with worry. He glances at the screen but he can't make anything of the readings they show.

"I'm fine." Rachel murmurs, pouting her lips and starts massaging her temple with two fingers, careful around the electrodes. The butler-turned-doctor straightens up, hums thoughtfully while reading the scans, then states with a professional, matter-of-factly voice.

"Brain activity is normal. It seems everything is alright, Master Grayson. There's nothing wrong with her."

"Nothing?" he asks, stunned. "Then what the hell was that bloody headache just a few minutes ago?"

No one answers him, but they don't have to. The truth is he might know the answer already, but everything in him is trying to deny it.

Warm fingers curl around his wrist, drawing his attention.

"Dick, I'm okay now." Rachel tells him quietly. "Just tired, that's all."

He sits down next to her, concern all over his features, and takes her hand again.

"Are you sure? That looked scary."

"It was." she admits and puts her other hand over his. "But I'm sure. I don't know what it was either but it probably had something to do with losing my gem."

It's not really comforting but he's gonna have to take her word for it. She's a little pale but her breathing went back to normal and there seems to be no after effects.

Bruce walks up to them and puts a hand on her shoulder, his face nothing but calm and sympathetic.

"Can you describe how you felt?"

She thinks for a moment, scrunching her eyebrows and trying to focus. 

"I… I felt a sharp stab of pain. Like a needle went right through my forehead. And… I heard - or more like felt - a weird sound. Something like… tapping, or- or knocking. Plus it started ringing in my ears. It felt unbearable. And then-"

She stops abruptly and her face twists into an utter confusion. Dick looks up at the others before turning back to her.

"Then what?"

"I- I think something else broke through all that noise." she says unsure, her mouth turning into a frown. "It sounded like… croaking. Hundreds of birds croaking."

His blood freezes in his veins. All he can do is stare at her, watching her struggle to comprehend what exactly happened to her. But he knows. He saw the cause of that painful headache with his own eyes, laughing at him from behind the window.

"It was awful, like my head was going to explode." Rachel continues, keeping her head down. "I don't know what it was."

Dick presses his lips into a thin line and, feeling his heart is about to burst out of his chest, exhales deeply.

"I think I do."

Rachel's head shots up, her round blue eyes fixed on his face. She's not saying anything, just like the rest of the people in this room, but her gaze holds a million questions. And his mouth goes dry, because he has no idea how to answer them, except from telling the truth, which he kept from her for far too long.

"What, you had another dream or something?" Gar asks before Kory shuts him up with a single glare. 

But it's too late. Rachel looks between Gar and him, scared and confused. Dick catches his son's gaze and the boy curls into himself, mouthing a quiet apology to him. Kory puts a hand on his shoulder to comfort him.

Then he feels another pair of eyes on him and turns to find Rachel staring at him. The fear and guilt must be written all over his features because suddenly her eyes go wide as recognition dawns on her face.

"Your nightmares." she whispers in shock to which he can only turn his gaze down. Her eyes are painfully boring into him before she leaps off the bed to stand in front of him. 

"I knew it!" she says, her voice a frustrated shout. In the quietness of the vast space of the Batcave it sounds like a gunshot. "I knew something was wrong. Why didn't you tell me?"

He lets out a deep sigh as his fingers run through his hair. Then he meets her expectant gaze and answers after a short pause.

"Rach, I- ah… I didn't want to scare you. I've never had prophetic dreams before! I didn't even look too much into what I saw until it was too late."

"What do you mean prophetic?"

Out of the corner of his eye Dick can see that the little audience they had is starting to slowly back away - Bruce and Alfred head towards the computers while Diana takes Donna on the side to talk to her privately - but he knows they all have their eyes and ears on them. Only Kory and Gar stayed by their side, but still kept their distance.

Rachel crosses her arms over her chest and her right foot starts tapping anxiously on the floor. She's angry but also kind of hesitant, like she's not sure if she even wants to know. But her eyes are fixed on him and he knows he can't get away with this anymore.

"Tell me." she demands. "Tell me everything."

So he does. He tells her about the casket and the crib and with his each word her face turns more and more confused.

"I don't understand." Rachel finally says after staying silent for almost an entire minute after he stops talking. "Birds trying to get rid of the stone definitely meant it getting destroyed… But red eyes, the baby in the crib… how does it all connect to what just happened to me?"

Dick shifts his gaze to Gar and Kory. They stepped closer and are now staring at him the same way Rachel does - they are trying to figure it out too but he's the only one who has an actual answer to this riddle.

He should have told them right away. Keeping secrets to keep them safe never ends well, he should know this by now. But how is he supposed to explain to them something he doesn't understand himself?

Gar moves to stand next to Rachel while Kory steps closer and sits down beside him then puts her hand on his back. Her soothing touch gives him the boost of courage he needed to start talking again. He lifts his eyes back at Rachel.

"You see, these birds from my first dream weren't just random birds." he starts, feeling uncertain. "They were ravens. They came in a hoard, but there was one among them that seemed to be the leader. It was way bigger, had red eyes and… and it was white."

As he continues to explain how the white raven appeared in both of his dreams Rachel's brows rise so high they nearly touch her hairline. Gar's mouth part in surprise as he glances at his sister to gauge her reaction before his eyes go back to Dick. And Kory's entire body tenses beside him.

"A white raven?" the black haired girl chokes out in disbelief.

"Yes, but it's not the one you described after coming back to life. It's not a being made of light, it's an actual animal. But it feels different, in a way."

Dick pauses for a moment, struggling to find the right words.

"Different how?" the green haired boy asks, growing curious and a bit impatient. Honestly, Dick can't really blame him.

"It seems… sentient." he tries again. "There's knowledge and recognition behind its eyes, to the point of looking almost human. That damn bird keeps haunting me. And I think it is trying to… I don't know. Give me a message? Warn me? I can't really tell."

Something flashes in Rachel's eyes and she moves to sit on his other side.

"You didn't see this bird only in your dreams, did you?" she deduces. "It showed itself to you while awake as well."

"Yes, it did." he confirms. "First time it happened in the garden a week ago. And it was the only time until now. I saw it behind the window when your headache started. It seemed to me like that bird was doing it to you - every time it hit its beak against the window, you shivered. And the croaking you said you heard? I saw hundreds of black ravens sitting all over the tree outside, making a lot of noise."

"But Dick-" Bruce walks up to them again slowly, keeping his eyes on his son. "There was nothing there."

"For you, maybe. But I saw it. I have no idea what this thing is, but it's communicating with me."

Silence falls between them as everyone is trying to process all that information. Dick can feel his palms getting sweaty, that's how nervous he is. But he also feels kind of relieved after getting rid of that secret.

"You should have told me." Rachel murmurs, not looking at him. "Right after the first dream when you came to check on me. You should've told me right away."

He takes her hand in his.

"I know." he whispers, pulling it to his lips and leaving a kiss on her knuckles. 

"We promised to not keep things from each other anymore."

She sounds so sad and disappointed, his heart breaks. He hangs his head low in shame, still holding on to her and closes his eyes.

"I'm sorry."

The ten seconds of holding his breath feels like eternity before she finally smiles a little and squeezes his hand.

"Apology accepted. But no more secrets, got it? Especially the ones meant to protect me."

"Got it." 

"So… what now?" Kory asks a moment later, flipping her gaze between the faces of others.

"I guess we have more research to do." Bruce tells her, his expression serious. Then he turns back to his son. "Dick, if this creature is communicating with you, do you think you'd be able to reach back?"

"I can try." he says after thinking for a moment. "But I'm not sure how-"

The ceiling lamps start to swing dangerously, lights flickering. In fact, the entire room is starting to shake, computer screens are glitching and some glass equipment falls from the shelves and shatters on the floor.

"What's happening?" Donna's voice breaks through the noise.

Rachel latches onto Dick's arm, holding so tight her nails almost break through his skin.

"That's not me." she says, shaking her head.

"I know."

"Then what the hell is it?" Gar's terrified voice fills the space as he and Kory move to form a protective wall around Rachel, others joining them quickly. Dick pulls her into his arms and looks around but the shaking slowly stops.

There's around ten seconds of complete silence before a loud cracking noise breaks it, coming from somewhere behind them. They all turn just in time to see a giant split forming across the floor, almost cutting the room in half. Then a bloody human hand shots up from inside it, grasping desperately at the edge, followed by the other one. Grunts of pain can be heard and Dick and Bruce run up to the split, each grabbing one hand and pulling the person up. They lay the man on the floor away from the split and step away right before he turns on his side and coughs out a puddle of blood. Only then, through all the blood, gore and ripped clothes they recognize him.

"John Constantine?" Dick says in disbelief.

"Bloody hell." the man in question groans, turning on his back and closing his eyes. He smiles, showing few missing teeth and more blood. "I made it."

Rachel pushes past Dick and stops to a halt, gasping. Her hands start to illuminate a faint purple glow and she falls to her knees next to him, pressing her palms to his chest, but seeing the extent of his injuries, Dick doubts she'll be able to heal him. John's eyes are so swollen he can barely see. His mouth is full of blood and his body is covered in deep cuts, as if from giant claws. Both of his legs and several of his fingers are broken. And that's just external injuries.

"Don't bother, love." he tells her in a hoarse, broken voice, pulling her hands away. But he doesn't let go and holds onto them instead.

Dick kneels beside her and puts his hand on the man's shoulder carefully, but the warlock still winces in pain.

"What happened to you?"

John tries to laugh but it comes out as a gurgle sound and a trickle of blood falls down from the side of his mouth. But he still keeps his eyes on terrified Rachel.

"That bastard is back, your father." He tells her. "Turned Hell into a bloodbath."

Dick's hand lands on her back and he can feel her tremble.

"He did this to you?"

The man nods to him before falling into another coughing fit. The puddle of crimson on the floor grows bigger.

"We need to help him." Rachel cries out.

"Alfred, get the bed ready." Bruce orders shortly. Donna gives Dick a first aid kit.

But Constantine waves them all off and roughly pulls Rachel closer to himself.

"Listen closely girl, we don't have much time." he breathes out with difficulty. "I'm only still alive to deliver a message."

"What message?" Dick leans in closer, keeping his arm firmly around Rachel's shoulders. The man coughs again before speaking.

"Trigon is ripping Hell apart. And that's just- h-his first stop. He'll turn this- world into a scorched wasteland, t-then move on to- to the next one. Un- unless-"

"Unless what?" the girl urges him, her voice breaking.

"Unless you- you give yourself up. He wants your power, nothing else. Meet with him, alone and he- he promised to leave the Earth. Otherwise he- he'll kill everyone you love. One by one."

"This is insane." Dick growls. "He thinks we're gonna fall for that? There's no way-"

"Where?" Rachel demands, clutching the man's hand tighter. "Where should I meet him?"

"The Sanctuary. You- you need to look- under th- the books." he says, but his voice is much more quiet this time. He's growing weaker by a second and even her attempts to heal him are not making it better. "You have time until New Year's Eve. Use the key, you- you'll know what to do."

"The Sanctuary?" she asks, confused. "What does that even mean? John? John!"

But he doesn't answer. His head rolls to the side and his eyes freeze, staring blindly into space. His chest rises slowly one last time before his hand goes limp in hers, leaving traces of blood on her fingers. Tears fall down her cheeks as she tries to shake him awake, calling his name desperately, asking questions he's not going to answer. 

Dick carefully puts his hands on her shoulders and pulls her away, drawing her to his chest and closing his arms around her. 

"There's no use, Rach." he tells her, stroking her hair when sobs start to wreck her body and tears fall from her eyes. "He's gone."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup, I just did that.
> 
> See how that is gonna unfold next week.
> 
> BYE! *hides in her bed*


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things escalate, tensions rise and a common ground is hard to find.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELCOME TO CHAPTER 10!!!!  
> It's coming to a close and the stakes are higher than ever!!!  
> I'm so excited for you to read this chapter and the next one (the grand finale) that's coming next friday which is also MY BIRTHDAY YAY ! (I swear I didn't plan this)
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

She stands to the side, watching as Dick and Bruce put John Constantine's limp body on the bed. The view is beyond horrid and Alfred quickly covers him with a white sheet but Rachel can't turn her eyes away. A bloodied hand slips out from under the cover but Dick upon noticing she's staring at it, hides it. Then he comes up to her and puts his hands on her shoulders, using his own body to block the sight from her.

"Are you okay?" he whispers but she can only shake her head no. Words fail her, she's afraid to open her mouth because she knows that once she does, it'll be either sobbing or screaming that comes out. She lets Dick silently pull her to his chest for a moment, squeeze her comfortingly between his arms before he pulls away, takes one look at her face and grabs her hand, pulling her with him to the others and away from John.

A conversation starts, the one she's not listening to, because her mind is racing 100 miles a minute. The dead warlock's words run through her head, playing over and over again like a broken record. And among them there's just one thought.

_ This can't be happening. _

And yet it is. Her worst nightmares came true, Trigon came back and is threatening her family again. Memories of the last time he walked this earth and put them through their own personal hell leave a sour taste in her mouth. She defeated him back then, turned his own plan against him, so now he's coming for revenge. His promise is an obvious lie - Trigon is a master trickster. But it's also an ultimatum. She has no idea, no proof that if she does what he wants he won't kill her loved ones anyway. But if she doesn't go, then his attack is certain. What he did to John was just a tease of what's coming. 

Dick is distracted so he doesn't notice when she slips her hand out of his grasp and wanders away. No one is looking at her at the moment, they are too busy discussing what to do with the body and what Constantine's words might mean, which is kind of funny considering those words focus on her. She throws a quick glance at the spot where the man literally crawled his way out from Hell, but the split in the floor closed itself moments after he died, not leaving a single trace. It's like it was never even there.

Making sure she's still undetected, Rachel slumps into one of the swiveling chairs and turns on the computer, pulling a map of Gotham on the screen. She stares at it for several seconds with her chin propped on her palm but she can't come up with anything. The Sanctuary? Look under the books? What is that supposed to mean? John didn't specify where to look exactly, so it must be somewhere in Gotham. He got right here to the Batcave straight from Hell, so it's no problem for Trigon either. But wouldn't he just come to her himself? That must mean he's weakened and he needs to lure her in. That's why he wants her power? He needs her to pull him out like she did the first time? What exactly is his plan? Under what books is she supposed to look? And what key? John said she will know what to do - did he mean the Azarath symbol?

Her head is pounding from all these questions. She drops it and hides her face in her hands, squeezing her eyes shut. She's gonna need to clear her mind before she takes any action, read more about this symbol and study magic. They said they've already looked but maybe Bruce missed something in his library and-

Her head shots up, eyes focusing on the map again.

The library!

Gotham City must have one. Gears turn in her head so fast her fingers can't keep up and she makes a few typos but finally she finds a tall building of the Gotham Academy's Public Library. It's close to the town square and it's not hard to find. She looks through the pictures of the building, making a mental note to save some of them later on her phone. Then she stops to think.

"Under the books, under the books…" she murmurs to herself before she starts typing again. Under the books - under the building? But… a name Sanctuary doesn't really fit the view of a library. She would rather use it to describe a church or something like that. It's still worth checking though, so she does and her hunch is right. There's a large tunnel system under the entire city. Sewers probably. And conveniently enough, few branches of those tunnels meet right under the library, she's just gonna have to find a way to-

"Rachel? What are you doing?"

She freezes with her hands hovering over the keyboard. Turning slowly she notices the room went completely quiet and everyone is staring at her. Dick, who asked the question, steps closer crossing his arms over his chest. She holds his gaze for a moment longer before leaping up from her chair and marching towards the exit.

"I know where to find Trigon. Well, sort of." she explains. Once the words start flowing, they can't stop. "John said to look under the books so I figured this might mean a library. There's a web of tunnels under the city and they cross right under it. The key I'm supposed to use must be the symbol. If I hurry then maybe-"

"Rachel, hold on." Dick gets to her in a few quick strides and grabs her elbow, making her stop and turn to him. "You can't be serious. Don't tell me you're considering-"

"Of course I am serious!" she says, yanking her arm out of his grasp. She can read his emotions like an open book, fear, stress, confusion and anger mixing together in him, but she  _ really _ doesn't have time for his overprotectiveness right now. This time he is the one who needs protection and she will make damn sure to provide it. So she challenges his gaze with her own and continues. "Dick, you heard what John said. I'm supposed to go alone or Trigon kills all of you. I won't let that happen. He says he wants my power? Fine. He gave it to me, he might as well take it all back. It's a small price to pay for keeping all of you alive."

He takes a step back, surprised by the fire in her words and steel in her eyes, but just as quickly he collects himself and puts on the same expression. Rachel instantly knows what's coming - they are both stubborn when it comes to protecting each other and usually things aren't pretty when their stubbornness clashes.

"Maybe he's lying." he says, crossing his arms over his chest again.

"You don't know that."

"And how can you know he's telling the truth? How can you know he's not gonna take your powers by killing you and then destroy the world anyway?"

Fair point, which only makes her more angry as she averts her gaze and looks down. But there's no time for arguing. 

"I can't know that and I don't but I am willing to take that risk. There's no time, New Year's Eve is tomorrow. So I'm going."

She turns on her heel and heads towards the elevator door.

"No."

That one word stops her dead in her tracks. It's short and quick, said with a low, almost growling tone and it freezes her entire nerve system, sending ice needles right through it. Even more so when she spins around just to see Dick's face full of anger, tension and… authority.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me." he says, his tone flat. "You're not going anywhere. And  _ especially _ not alone."

The entire room holds its breath. Everyone is staring at them, observing the battle of two too much alike minds. The atmosphere is getting tense, unsaid words hang in the air like axes ready to fall on their necks any second.

Rachel shakes her head, snorting.

"You can't stop me."

A vein pops on his neck. Anger is rising within him, she can see that, and he's doing everything in his power to not let it out on her, but failure is just around the corner. And she's not really making it easy for him.

"I can and I will." he states, clenching his jaw. "You're staying here. End of discussion. We do it as a team."

Dick moves towards her while speaking, but she steps back, still glaring at him. 

"No team this time. I have to do this  _ alone _ ."

It's a cat and mouse play now, they're circling each other, trying to see who's gonna get the upper hand in this fight. He lets out a heavy sigh, dropping his head to his chest, before looking at her again.

"Rachel you don't understand-"

"No,  _ you _ don't understand." she interrupts him, coming closer to stand right in front of him. "Trigon wants  _ me _ . That's always been his game. I don't trust him one bit but if there's even a tiny chance I can protect you, all of you this way, I'm going to take it. Trigon is my responsibility."

"And you are  _ my _ responsibility, for God's sake!" he shouts suddenly, losing his carefully crafted composure. It startles her and she doesn't dare to move when his fingers curl around her arms, squeezing tightly. His eyes are full of desperation and his voice starts to tremble when he speaks again. "I watched you die once, I'm not gonna do that again!"

Rachel puts her hands on his arms and pushes them down, making him release her from his grip, then steps back.

"It's not your choice."

She turns to the exit, already cursing herself out for wasting so much precious time, but Dick's voice stops her again. And this time it sets her nerves ablaze.

"Rachel Roth, I am ordering you to stay put."

She ignores him but when she pushes the elevator button, the door won't budge. She tries several times, bangs her fist on the cold metal in frustration, but nothing works.

"What the hell? Dick, open the door!"

"No."

She walks up to him again, shaking from anger and her vision goes red.

"Are you kidding me? You can't do this!"

"Yeah? Watch me." he steps closer too, just as angry as she is, showing her he's not intimidated by her power. "As your guardian and the leader of this team I gave you an order and you will obey it. You are not going on a suicide mission, young lady. I won't allow it."

"Oh, so it's only acceptable when  _ you _ throw your life on the line?"

She snaps. Words leave her mouth before she can even register their meaning. Dick staggers back, his eyes going round and nostrils flaring.

"That's not fair."

"Oh really? Right, I forgot suicide missions are your thing only."

"That- that's not what I meant." he says quietly after a short pause, his eyes dropping down.

She can see she pulled a delicate string and maybe later she'll have enough decency to feel bad about it. But not now. She scoffs again. 

"Of course not. Now open this fucking door, I want to go to my room."

"Rachel-"

"Now, goddamnit!"

Seeing her glowing eyes and strings of dark smoke wrapping around her fingers, he sighs, giving up, and slightly tilts his head towards Alfred who taps a code into a thin black tablet and a second later the elevator door beeps and opens. Rachel stares at Dick for exactly three more seconds, but when he doesn't lift his gaze at her and stubbornly keeps it on the floor, she turns around and enters the elevator, letting the door shut behind her with a hiss. She doesn't spare him another glance.

* * *

Once she's gone Dick runs his hand across his face and huffs in frustration. His feet start carrying him in pointless circles, like he's an animal locked in a cage, until he finally stops to a halt and slams his fist on the metal desk.

"Fuck!" he growls, feeling jolts of pain shooting through his right hand. He flexes his fingers, noting there's nothing broken, then leans on his arms and drops his head, closing his eyes. The surface of the desk is cold beneath his fingers. 

He stays like this even when he hears a quiet but stern voice of Bruce asking others to give the two of them a moment of privacy. There's a commotion behind him, elevator doors open again and soon Batcave becomes completely quiet and empty, save for him and his father.

Dick still doesn't open his eyes even when Bruce drops in a chair next to him. The man lets out a long sigh and Dick can clearly see in his mind's eye how he leans back and folds his hands together on his stomach, his signature waiting-for-my-son-to-get-his-shit-together pose. And it's as always infuriating. After waiting ten more seconds Dick tilts his head slowly and cracks open one eye. Indeed, Bruce is sitting next to him in the exact pose he imagined, looking right back at him and failing to conceal a smirk trying to break out on his face.

Seeing he finally has his son's attention, the older man decides to speak.

"Well, she handled it exactly how I expected. You both did."

Dick turns to him fully this time, pushing his fists into the pockets of his jeans.

"And what do you mean by that?"

His face doesn't change much, except for maybe his smirk growing a bit bigger.

"I mean that both of your behaviors were easily predictable and I knew where this was going the moment Rachel started explaining her plan."

Dick sighs in frustration as he leans against the desk, sitting on top of it and folds his arms over his chest.

"What was she even thinking?" he breathes out, his brows drawn together. "Did she really expect me to just let her walk right into an obvious trap? Head on, without backup? And we are just supposed to what - stand by and watch as she gets herself killed because she thinks it's somehow her fault? That's ridiculous!"

His voice rises in volume as he starts rambling, spitting words on one breath while his frustration grows - and Bruce has the audacity to chuckle. Dick's head snaps towards him just in time to see his father shaking his head in amusement.

"What are you laughing at?" he barks at him. "It's not funny."

"To me, it is." he shakes his head again, letting out another quiet laugh and gets up from his chair. Fixing his dark designer suit, he walks up to a small cabinet hidden in the corner and pulls out a bottle of whiskey and two glasses. He comes back, sets them on the desk beside the keyboard and starts pouring the drink. Dick observes him with a perplexed expression on his face, even when Bruce puts a half full glass into his hand.

"Like father, like daughter." the older man says as he raises his glass in a mockery of a toast then takes a sip.

Dick blinks twice, dumbfounded before he finally blurts out defensively.

"She's  _ nothing _ like Trigon."

"But she's a lot like  _ you _ ."

And that leaves him completely speechless. The only thing he can do is stare at his father, watching him slowly empty his glass and put it back down on the metal desk. Dick still hasn't even touched his own drink. Bruce looks back at him and reaches out, patting him on the shoulder.

"Oh, don't look so surprised, son." he says. "Even a blind person could tell how much alike the two of you are. Just like you, especially when you were her age, Rachel is hot-headed, stubborn and often takes recklessness for bravery, but she does it all in good heart. She's showing… self-sacrificial tendencies to protect the ones she loves and she'd rather shoulder all the blame and responsibility than let anyone get hurt in the process. Sounds familiar? Or should I remind you how you tried to take down Slade Wilson without the team's involvement, multiple times, just because you felt responsible for what happened?"

Touche. Dick scoffs, turning his eyes away from his father, pressing his lips into a thin line. Bruce's eyes bore into him, reading his reaction and Dick takes a swing of his drink to avoid uncomfortable eye contact. But he can't deny that his father is right.

He gulps down the entire glass before speaking again.

"So what should I do?"

Bruce smiles again and his hand moves to give the nape of his neck a gentle squeeze. Then he drops back into his chair, gesturing his son to do the same and Dick does so.

"First of all, let the dust settle. She has to think it over just like you are doing right now."

"But there's nothing to think over, Bruce." Dick tells him immediately. "I am not letting her go alone. End of story. I don't want her to get killed."

"And have you thought about what Rachel wants?"

Whatever response he thought he had dies in his mouth. Because no, he didn't. Blinded by his own fear, worry and anger he never even considered it. 

His head drops down in defeat.

"I just want to protect her." he murmurs quietly.

"Just like she wants to protect you." Bruce tells him, leaning in closer. "But enforcing your decisions on each other won't do any good for either of you. You need to find common ground and be patient with each other."

Something clicks in his mind and Dick lifts his head to look at his father, who has a warm smile on his face.

"You're speaking from experience, aren't you?"

"Despite the popular belief I did learn a lot from you, Dick." Bruce lets out a quiet laugh, but then his face turns completely serious. He locks his eyes with him before speaking again. "Parenting is a marathon, not a sprint, and you will trip on the way many times, no matter how much experience you have. You're scared about her, I get it. You have every reason to. But she's just as scared. As much as you want to keep your hand on the pulse, both as a team leader and a father, throwing orders at her won't work. Believe me, I know, because it never worked on you either."

He puts his hand on the back of Dick's neck again, pulling him even closer and making sure his words are coming across. His eyes are full of sympathy and honesty.

"What she needs instead is your support. You can still keep your daughter safe while letting her make her own decisions."

Dick thinks it all over for a long moment. The concept is terrifying. If it was completely up to him, he would wrap Rachel in a bubble wrap and lock her away from all the danger of this universe. But it's not up to him, it will never really be up to him and he has to make peace with that.

He leans back in his chair and puts his arms behind his head, stretching.

"I hope you're right, Bruce."

The older man smiles and nods slowly.

"Yeah, me too."

* * *

Rachel barges into her bedroom, slamming the door behind her. Tears are rolling down her cheeks and she furiously wipes them away, angry at herself for crying. There's no time for that, she needs to prepare, but those angry tears just won't stop coming. She throws herself on her bed, letting out a strangled sob and just lays there, staring at the ceiling.

Can't Dick see that all she wants to do is save them? Yes, it could very well be a trap but she won't know it until she goes to check it out. She can't just sit here and do nothing! 

Deciding she needs to distract herself and try to calm down she reaches out for a big volume about occultism and magic she got as a Christmas gift. It fell on the floor when she dropped on the bed so she picks it up and sits cross-legged comfortably, setting the book on her legs and opening it on the front page. 

But no matter how hard she tries, she can't focus. She sees random words and drawings but they don't make any sense to her. Now that her anger has started to subside, it gives way for guilt. She runs all the words she said through her head, feeling a tight knot appearing in the pit of her stomach. Maybe she shouldn't have said what she said to him. That was uncalled for. She was angry and wasn't thinking. But she still stands strong by her arguments. She has to face Trigon alone and for that she has to prepare.

A knock on the door stops her. Rachel freezes, holding her breath, hoping that for once it's not Dick. But she relaxes when she hears Diana's familiar voice on the other side.

"Rachel, can I come in?"

"Yeah!"

The door opens slowly with a creak and the woman steps in silently, wearing a warm, sympathetic smile. But after noticing Rachel's wet cheeks, it turns into a frown.

"Oh, darling…" she sighs and sits down on the edge of the bed, taking the girl's hand in hers. "What's with the tears? Talk to me."

Rachel wipes her face with a sleeve of her black sweater and sniffles.

"How could he…? Why can't he let me do this? If I don't come alone, or at all, Trigon will attack - how hard is that to understand?" she vents. "I'm so angry, but… but maybe I said too much."

Diana nods slowly in understanding and squeezes her hand. 

"In anger we all say things we don't mean. The same thing happens when we're scared about the ones we love. All we want to do is lock them away and keep the world at bay forever, even when it would be against their wishes."

Rachel doesn't need her powers to sense that her mentor's words have a double meaning, she can see it in her eyes. She chuckles wetly and shakes her head.

"Don't bother, I know he's mad at me."

Diana's eyes grow round.

"Mad? Honey, as long as I've known him, I have never seen him this terrified."

Rachel drops her gaze down, feeling strange tightness in her chest. Absentmindedly she starts playing with the silver bracelet Dick gave her, twisting and turning those little wings between her fingers. She stays quiet, knowing Diana is watching her closely.

"If it's any consolation," the woman speaks again after a while, shifting on the bed to sit more comfortably. "Dick was no better when he was your age."

Upon seeing Rachel's puzzled expression, Wonder Woman bursts into a fit of melodic laughter.

"What, you don't believe me? Oh, those shouting matches he and Bruce used to have all the time… Windows were shaking. Both were spitting venom at each other, going rogue and refusing to listen until one crawled back with a tucked tail admitting the other was right."

Rachel thinks it all through, not really getting what Diana is trying to say by that. Does that mean she has to go to him and apologize? Or the other way around?

"I'm just… confused, I guess." she admits at last. "I know Dick's right about the trap. I shouldn't trust Trigon and I don't. But I also know I am right, too - I'm the only one who can defeat him. There's no win in this situation but I have to do the thing that will ensure people I love won't get hurt. Why can't he see that?"

The older woman puts her soft hand on Rachel's cheek and leans in closer, looking her in the eyes.

"Because, in his own way, he's trying to do the exact same thing." she tells her. "You and Dick are two sides of the same coin. You'd literally die for each other, but also get mad at one another about it. Sometimes you won't agree with each other's methods of keeping each other safe, that's normal. But you need to work together. Communicate."

"We do that." Rachel blurts out bluntly, getting a pointed look and a raised eyebrow from Diana in return.

"Do you, really?" she asks, doubtful. "Maybe it's not my place to intervene, but I am observant. He didn't tell you anything about his dreams or the white raven to not scare you - which, in his mind, was supposed to keep you safe - and you were just about to go out there without backup, with only scraps of information you don't even know are valid, just because someone is allegedly holding your loved ones at gunpoint and you want to avoid that. See what I'm getting at?"

They stare into each other's eyes for a few more seconds before Rachel finally nods and drops her gaze again, letting out a long sigh.

"We're so desperate to protect each other the best way we want that we don't even consider what the other would want us to do instead."

The older brunnete's face lights up with a triumphant smile.

"Exactly."

"So… what should I do?"

Diana takes her hands in hers again, brushing her thumbs over her knuckles.

"I know you're gonna hate this, but… waiting is your best option right now."

She can't help but roll her eyes and grunt in annoyance. 

"Really?"

Diana's hold tightens.

"Let him come to terms with the situation, just like you just did. Before either of you takes any action, you need to talk this out and find a common ground. The rest of us will follow, no matter what you decide."

Rachel looks down at their clasped hands, chewing at the inside of her cheek as she thinks it over. She takes a long, deep breath, before asking.

"What would you do? If you could switch places with Dick, what would you do?"

The woman gives her a soft smile.

"To be honest… My first reaction would probably be the same."

The answer catches Rachel off guard.

"But you said-"

"I know what I said." she cuts in, nodding in understanding. "And I meant every word. But you have to remember where all this behavior is coming from. Dick loves you like you're his own flesh and blood. It's love that makes him scared and angry and paranoid. And it's love that makes you want to hand yourself over to your demonic father, sacrifice your powers and probably your life to protect all of us, am I right?"

Feeling her throat tightening, the girl only nods. She's fighting back tears now, purposefully not looking at the older woman to hide it, but when she takes a breath, it's shuddering and shaky. Diana wordlessly rubs her shoulder to offer some comfort, then gets up, smoothing down nonexistent wrinkles on her trousers. 

"I'll let you study for now." she says, smiling down at the big volume still sitting on Rachel's lap. "And… think about it, okay?"

"Okay."

When the door closes with a soft click, she hides her face in her hands, letting out a loud sigh. She can feel herself shaking. Diana told her to wait but a part of her wants to run to Dick now. Listen to what he has to say, work on the plan together. And yet her pride is voting against it - he should come to her first. Diana also told her he's not mad but… she's not so sure. After what she said…

"Damn it!" she shouts to no one but herself and drops on her pillow.

The book she held in her lap slides down to the floor again with a loud thud and Rachel can't help but raise her eyes at the sky and let out yet another exasperated sigh. After getting back up she picks it up and puts it on her covers. It's opened on a random page and she's just about to start looking for the place she was last reading when something catches her eye. Three drawings taking up the space of the entire page. She leans in to take a closer look and with each passing second her heart starts picking up speed, beating loud in excitement and anticipation. She traces her fingers over the familiar lines of the three symbols as her eyes dart to three words written underneath them.

Azarath. Metrion. Zinthos.

She turns the page and starts reading, soaking up the knowledge like a sponge, while a seed of a plan starts growing in her head.

* * *

He's standing by his bedroom window with his arms crossed over his chest, watching the clouds pass through the night sky, gliding over the moon. His mind is racing, brows are drawn together and lips pressed into a thin line. Trigon is out there somewhere, lurking in the shadows, waiting to get his hands on Rachel. His fists clench at the thought and Dick wishes he could use them to punch that bastard in the face, repeatedly until his face and Dick's knuckles bleed. But that would do nothing. Still, he'd do anything to have that opportunity.

Blinding fury is boiling within him like an inside of a volcano. It's hot and deadly and ready to erupt at any given moment.

He shouldn't have let it out on her like that. It wasn't fair. Rachel's words stung but there's no denying they were true. He had done the exact same thing in the past and honestly, he'd do it again. And Rachel is the same. Like a reflection, standing in front of him in a mirror.

His head drops and his eyes close as he sighs. Tomorrow was supposed to be one of the best days of his life. He was going to make it special, get down on one knee in front of the woman he loves, set his family in stone. And instead there's the end of the world upon them and Rachel might pay a price for it.

He should go check on her. Apologize. Listen to what she has to say. It's been hours since their fight happened and as far as he knows, she had spent all that time locked in her bedroom. 

It's right across the hallway, just outside this door. Then why is it so hard for him to just move? She's right there and he's right here, frozen, glued to the floor and paralyzed. But by what? Anxiety that she's not gonna let him in? Anger that burns right under the surface? Fear that he's gonna find an empty room instead?

Dick shakes his head. He's overthinking it too much. He hates when he and Rachel have a falling out and even though they always come out on the other end of it, it often leaves him stressful and anxious. It's late and she might as well be sleeping already but he knows he won't get any sleep tonight if he doesn't at least try to fix it. So he turns on his heel and heads towards the door but a quiet, almost shy knock stops him mid-step.

"Come in." he answers.

The door opens slowly and Dick can't help but suck in a sharp breath when he sees who walks in. Rachel - dressed in her dark grey pajamas with little black cats pattern on them - keeps her eyes down as if she's afraid to look at him and only puts one foot inside the room ready to flee if necessary.

"Hi." she whispers, glancing at him briefly but she's unable to keep her eyes on his face for more than a second. They focus on something behind his head instead. 

"Hi, Rach." he simply answers. Why is his voice so hoarse all of a sudden?

"I, um… Can we talk?"

Guess she had the same idea. Dick clears his throat and points his hand at his bed.

"C'mon, sit down."

She closes the door behind her and walks past him with her back straight to slowly sit down, wiping her palms on the fabric of her pants. Dick still stands where he stood, watching her closely. She's nervous, that's quite obvious. But so is he for the matter. There's tension and awkwardness between them and he absolutely hates it. It's unnatural, it doesn't fit them and it's wrong. But they are the ones who brought it upon themselves so they need to fix this now, no one will do it for them.

She keeps avoiding his gaze and stays quiet so he moves and sits down beside her on the edge of the bed, shoulder to shoulder, knee to knee. Rachel stiffens a bit but doesn't move away which he takes as a good sign. Her head is down, dark hair covering the side of her face and she'd seem unmoving if it wasn't for her trembling hand fidgeting with that small blue ring on her finger, another sign of her nervousness. 

If it's so obvious on her, it must be equally obvious on him as well. His heart is hammering in his chest, his palms are sweaty. He just wants to get this over with and move past it. He takes a deep breath.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry."

Their eyes meet as they both pause, realizing they spoke at the same time only to let out a quiet chuckle after a beat of silence.

"Ladies first." he tells her, feeling the left corner of his lips pulling up to form a smile. Her own fades just as quickly as it appeared and she looks down again, gathering back up the courage to speak.

"I'm sorry for what I said. It was hurtful and unnecessary. I was angry and wasn't thinking." she whispers, lifting her eyes at him and bravely holding his gaze. 

"It's okay. We both know you were right."

"Still, I shouldn't have said that." She shakes her head. "And I'm sorry for being so reckless. I know I was gonna jump head on into danger without knowing much and you just wanted to protect me. You're right, there's no guarantee Trigon will keep his word. But I'm scared. What he did to you and others the last time was my fault because I brought him back. I don't want to repeat that. And I don't want to lose you. The prophecy is about me and John was talking about me so there's no way for me to get away from this. But I thought dealing with this alone will help me keep you guys safe. That's all I want. I want to end this so no one ever gets hurt or worse because of me again."

He's listening silently to every word without interrupting. Somewhere in the middle her voice starts to crack and by the time she's finished first tears roll down her cheeks though she does everything in her power to hold them back. She blinks hard and looks away, wiping her hand over her face.

He lets her calm down before he starts speaking.

"I'm sorry I let out my frustration on you. You're not the one I'm angry at, it's him. I want to end it as much as you do, get rid of him so he doesn't hurt you anymore. Yes, I do want to protect you, but yelling, ordering you around and locking you up isn't gonna solve the problem. We're a team but more importantly we're a family. We can share burdens. We should, even though it can be hard. I made the same mistake - I should have told you about my nightmares but I didn't. I thought you'd be better off not knowing."

After a brief moment of hesitation he takes her hand in his, entwining their fingers together. Hers seems so small and delicate in his big, calloused one yet it fits there perfectly, like it was always supposed to be there. His throat tightens dangerously at the thought and he needs to take a deep breath before he can continue with what he wants to say. He looks her in the eyes when she finally lifts her head back up.

"What's even harder is knowing when to step aside and let someone you love take the matter in their own hands. If you have to be the one to face and defeat your father then I have no choice but to accept that. But it doesn't mean I can't be at your side."

She smiles and glances at their hands, getting lost in thought. She frowns, biting at her lower lip.

"You know… I'm tired of people calling Trigon my father. He's not and never will be, not in any meaningful sense." she looks up at him with eyes sparkling from tears. "You are."

Feeling his own eyes welling up Dick reaches out to brush his thumb over Rachel's cheek. She lifts her other hand and puts it over his, holding it in place.

"I know we're both scared." she whispers. "But we have to trust each other and accept our roles. We need to find-"

"A common ground." he finishes for her, smiling. "So we can come up with a plan that will suit both of us and will be safe. I'm still not letting you go alone-"

"I've figured that much."

"-but I will let you take the charge and do what you have to do. I promise."

Her smile grows and she squeezes his hand still on her cheek.

"And I promise to listen to you and be extra careful. I will let you have my back like you always do."

Dick lifts his other hand to hold her face and leans in to press his lips to her forehead. 

"And we'll get through this together." he whispers against her skin, then pulls away to look at her face. Her smile is bright as the sun. "I love you more than words can say, Rachel. And I won't let anyone take you away from me. Not now, not ever."

Another wave of tears falls down from her eyes, sliding down over his fingers, but she lets out a choked up laugh.

"I love you so much, Dick. And I am not gonna lose you. I won't let that happen."

"Come here, baby girl."

The next second she falls into his arms, burrowing herself in his chest. Dick pulls her close, wrapping his arms tightly around her back and cups the back of her head, leaving a loving kiss on her dark hair. He smiles when he feels her squeezing him tighter and does the same. Rachel shifts, pressing her face to the crook of his neck and lets out a sigh, melting into him. A long yawn escapes her, making him turn his head to look down at her.

"Sleepy?"

"Mhm."

"Then jump in."

She's not happy to leave his embrace so soon and pulls away with a pout but crawls under the covers, pulling them up to her chin. He gets in next and lets her snuggle to him, instantly gathering her up in his arms. She curls into a ball, pressed to his chest and he drops another kiss on her head, holding her tight.

"Get some sleep, honey." he whispers. "We're gonna need our strength tomorrow. Rest now, okay?"

"Okay." she mumbles back, already half asleep. "Goodnight, dad."

"Goodnight, baby."

* * *

She lets herself sleep for most of the night but wakes up some time before dawn. The room is filled with silver moonlight coming from the window. The clock on the bedside table says it's 4:45 a.m.

Dick is still asleep, laying on the pillow next to her with one arm still wrapped loosely around her waist. His breathing is deep and even, his face calm and relaxed. Rachel rests her head back on the pillow and takes in every detail she can still see even in the dim light. His brown hair falling over his forehead. Eyelashes casting long shadows on his cheeks. Tiny scars from injuries he got in the past. A shadow of a stubble under his nose and on his chin that tickles her when he kisses her forehead. His sharp jawline. Lips stretching into a soft smile even in his sleep.

His heartbeat under her fingers when she lays her hand over his chest.

His strong arms holding her protectively. Their safety and comfort.

His warmth. His bravery. His love.

This is how she wants to remember him. She has no idea what's gonna happen but she never wants to forget this. This feeling of being unconditionally loved, of being wanted and cared for. Of being protected. Happy.

The feeling of having someone to fight, to live and to die for.

Tears well up in her eyes when she pulls herself up and leans in, pressing a kiss to his cheek. One tear drops on his skin, leaving a gleaming trail. Everything's prepared, she has to go gather her things, but it's so hard to leave the safety of his embrace. For a moment she starts reconsidering her decision but the truth is she can't back down. She has to save him. All of them. There's no other way, no matter how much she wishes there was one.

"I love you." she whispers, her voice trembling. "And I'm sorry. I hope you'll understand."

After slowly untangling herself from his hold she sits up and takes a long, deep breath. Her eyes catch a reflection of moonlight in the silver of her bracelet and she traces her fingers over it. She turns back to look at him again, but he's still sleeping, completely unaware. He won't know until well into the morning when he wakes up and finds the place next to him empty. But maybe by then, if everything goes right, the nightmare will be over. Maybe they will finally be free.

She carefully takes her bracelet off and places it on the bedside table, next to his phone. She wipes away her tears, makes an effort to ignore the pounding in her chest and leaves the room on her tiptoes, quietly closing the door behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *gasp* WHAT IS SHE DOING???  
> Teenagers be like that sometimes, what can you do.
> 
> See you next week!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who lives, who dies, who tells the story...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD! IT'S HERE. THE MONSTER. CHAPTER 11 - THE FINALE!
> 
> I considered splitting it into two parts but I decided not to, because 1) IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! I AM POSTING THE FINALE ON MY BIRTHDAY HOW COOL IS THAT! and 2) I want you to feel like you're watching an episode while reading. So much happens, a lot is answered and to me it really does feel like a season finale material. So get yourselves comfortable and bring some snacks - this 14K words of a chapter is gonna be a wild ride!
> 
> I am so happy and so grateful you all are enjoying this. It's the biggest thing I ever wrote. I'm shocked. I hope you like this chapter as much as the previous onces and I hope to see what you think of it.
> 
> Oh and make sure to check a little announcement in the end notes 😉

When he spots her bracelet abandoned on the bedside table his blood cells turn into ice needles.

There's a thousand normal explanations as to why would Rachel leave it here. And yet Dick throws them all away as he jumps out of his bed, his insides turning into tight knots at the mere thought of what it might actually mean. He crosses the hallway and pulls the door to her bedroom open so hard he almost tears it off its hinges. He runs in, frantically looking around but the room is completely empty. The bed is made and all her stuff is still all over the place. Her suitcase under the bed, yesterday's clothes folded on the armchair by the window, some books displayed on the bedside table, one of them open. Everything seems to look normal at first but Dick can't shake off a terrible hunch, so with a pounding heart he checks the other suitcase, a smaller silver one with an electronic lock only to find he is in fact right.

Her suit is gone.

"Damn it, Rachel." he murmurs under his breath, running his fingers through his hair. She did it. She actually did it - went to face Trigon completely alone. 

Part of him starts putting the puzzle pieces together. She must have spent the entire day planning. Came to talk to him in the evening to make amends, say goodbye even (he can't help but feel a jolt of physical pain inside his chest at the realisation) and snuck out in the middle of the night when he was sleeping.

How much time could've passed? It's around 7 a.m. he remembers through the fog of his racing thoughts and panic spreading over his body like poison. He has no idea when she could have left. An hour ago? Two? Maybe she waited till he fell asleep and then- no. He kept his eyes on her for a while, watching as her breath evened out and she succumbed into deep sleep. So she must have sneaked out sometime after 1 a.m. at least. A lot can happen in 6 hours and his brain is already overridden with the worst possibilities. He sits down on her bed with a tired sigh, dropping his head into his hands.

Rachel said something before, started rambling out her plan. What did she say? _Think_ , he tells himself. _Focus_. 

Some details come back to him, small things he didn't pay attention to the first time around, but it's not much. He knows he shouldn't sit still and waste time - he needs to wake everyone up, gather the team, head out and _find her_ \- but he feels paralyzed. Unbearable fear is holding him down, gripping him in its claws and doesn't want to let go. His throat feels tight, his eyes burn with tears he will not shed and his hands are trembling. He looks around again, taking in every piece of her presence until his eyes land again on the books. He leaps to his feet suddenly and grabs the first one, his breath speeding up as he looks at the drawings closely, then turns the page to read more.

The symbols. The spell.

It all makes sense now.

* * *

Rachel changes into her suit as quickly as possible, making sure everything is in its place. She checks the placement of small pocket weapons three times - a dagger in the right sleeve, two larger blades hidden in her boots, a taser by her belt. These weapons are primarily for defense purposes, but Dick taught her how to make good use of them differently.

On her phone she saves pictures of the library building she intends to go to and pages from the book that contain symbols and instructions, then makes sure the device cannot be tracked. _Thanks Jason for teaching us this trick_ , a thought crosses her mind.

She walks out on the hallway without making a sound. Her eyes dart for a moment to a door oposite to hers, to the person sleeping behind them, but she quickly shakes her head and looks around, trying to focus. She is aware that the entire property must be full of security cameras, so she closes her eyes, takes a deep breath and summons a cloud of black smoke that covers her like a cloak. Shadow travel will be the safest method, but only suitable for short distances. She can use portals later but she's not yet good at teleporting to places she's never been to and depending on her imagination and some pictures might not be enough. Those are new skills that Rachel has not yet mastered, and she must also conserve her strength.

She moves through the gloom of long corridors, leaping from one corner to another, hiding in her own little bubble of darkness. A hood covers her face and a long dark blue cloak flaps behind her as she runs down the main staircase, then with a fluid hand movement she opens the portal and leaps through it, making her way to the snow-covered road leading to the property.

She turns around, panting, catching a glimpse of a pitch black circle of nothingness before it disappears. A sigh of relief comes out of her chest at the sight of all Wayne Manor windows remaining dark. It doesn't give her a full guarantee that no one has noticed her, but she won't get anything better.

The colorful lights of Gotham City loom in the distance. Somewhere under those streets is a path to the Sanctuary. Trigon is out there, but Rachel won't let him hurt her loved ones. Not anymore. It ends today.

"Okay." she whispers to herself as she tries to give herself some courage and checks the time on her phone. It is 5:17. The sun won't rise for another two hours. "Time to go."

Another moment of concentration, clearing the mind, calming the heart. She had already practiced this on Themyscira but she could count on the fingers of one hand the number of times she actually managed to do it. But now it _must_ work.

Her feet lift off the ground slowly, inch by inch, until Rachel is floating six feet above the frozen road. At first, she sways slightly, spreading her arms wide, and she almost collapses, but finally she finds her balance and heads towards the city, letting the cold wind wash over her face, blowing her hair and spreading her cloak like wings.

* * *

It takes her around an hour to reach the outskirts of the city. She couldn't fly the entire distance due to the freezing wind that stung her face and made it difficult to fly, so she covered part of the route on foot, through the thick, frozen snow. But it's not the frost that makes her body shiver - it's the city itself. Dick wasn't joking or exaggerating when he said Gotham was a rotten hole full of crime. Already on the first street Rachel is greeted by broken windows, locked doors and graffiti on the walls that looks more like dripping blood than paint. She instinctively slows down and starts looking from side to side, her senses on high alert. However, her soul almost leaves her body when a monstrous metal bang pierces the silence behind her and Rachel turns on her heel, clutching the dagger in her hand. She's met with two moving light dots until they turn out to be just an ordinary gray cat that emerges from the shadows. Rachel rolls her eyes at her own stupidity and chases the animal away, then pulls out her phone and launches a map to make it easier for her to find the library.

The route seems simple, but she is forced to change it a few times. Once she comes across a homeless camp. About twenty men and women of all ages crowd around the fire, trying to keep warm and passing a can of food between them. The view is truly heartbreaking.

The second time she has to turn the wrong way because of gunshots coming from around the corner. She hides in the shadows just before a group of people in masks resembling animal faces passes where she stood a moment ago. When they're gone Rachel looks up at the night sky to try to spot the Bat Signal, but Bruce Wayne doesn't seem to be out on the hunt tonight. That's good for her.

Twenty minutes later the police car's lights nearly give her a heart attack. Rachel jumps into a dark alley behind some restaurant and, trying to catch her breath, watches as the black-and-white car slowly drives down the street, patrolling the area.

She knows she has to hurry, maybe she should use another portal, but she feels unable to move. Her mind goes back to the events from two years ago, when she was wandering the dark streets of Detroit, miraculously escaped an abduction (the first time at least) and how the same-looking police car drove her to the station - and to Dick. It's been two years already? It feels like yesterday and in another life at the same time. She can clearly remember the gray door opening as he walked in, giving her a warm smile, introducing himself.

 _I'm detective Dick Grayson_ . he said, sitting down in front of her. _Wanna talk about what happened?_

 _It's you._ Her heart gasped and her mouth followed. _You're the boy from the circus._

At the thought of him Rachel feels suddenly overwhelmed by remorse so monstrous that nausea twists her insides. She leans her back against the graffiti-covered wall and sinks to the ground, hugging her knees with her arms as a broken sob escapes from her trembling lips.

"What have I done?" she whispers to herself.

How could she just leave them? People who love her, embraced her and took care of her, who want nothing more than to protect her. Contradictory feelings fight each other in her heart. One side wants to turn back, ask for help. She should have stayed and used the plan they'd come up with together. The second half insists on carrying on with her own plan, alone and without the risk of anyone getting hurt. Trigon is her responsibility and hers alone.

Tears come to her eyes and Rachel does absolutely nothing to stop them. They run down her cheeks, venting the fear that fills her entire interior. She lowers her head, pressing her forehead to her knees, and tries to control her shallow, choppy breath.

Another memory comes back to her. A diner by the highway. The smell of freshly brewed coffee. Dick sitting in front of her, watching her closely. His words echo in her head.

_You're scared, I get it. But sometimes there's just no time to be scared._

His voice merges with her own as she repeats the words to him only twenty-four hours later.

It is true. There is no time for this. The black of the sky is slowly turning blue, and she has five more blocks to go before she reaches her destination. And this is only the first step - she still has to get inside, go underground and find the altar, if there is one at all.

The enormity of her task is overwhelming and Rachel presses her fist to her lips to stifle another sob. She closes her eyes and tries to calm down, recalling memories dear to her heart. Seeing Kory being a badass back in that diner after they first met. First time seeing Gar as a tiger. Driving the long highway with Dick in his silver Porsche. And many, many others.

These are the people she's fighting for. So she must go. She has to do this. 

For them.

* * *

Dick drops the massive book in the center of the mahogany table in the lavish living room, causing everyone to pause their hushed, tense conversations and gather around him for a closer look.

"This is what Rachel is planning to do." he says, tapping his index finger on the page with the three symbols.

Gar bends over the book, turns it over to look closer and reads aloud.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos. Okay, so it's some kind of a spell. But for what?"

Dick's eyes slide over everyone's faces before he takes a deep breath and explains.

"To open a bridge to Azarath - the tenth circle of Hell." 

A series of gasps echo through the room, some eyes go round in shock. 

"But there's only nine circles of Hell." Diana states, frowning. "How is this possible?"

Dick pulls the book back to himself and flips the page.

"According to this, Azarath is the prison of Heavenly celestial beings who have once fallen from Grace, such as Lucifer, Abbadon, Asmodeus… or Trigon."

"Wait-" Gar raises his hand and stares at him, lifting his eyebrows. "So Trigon was an Angel? Like Lucifer?"

"Or something similar, the text doesn't specify it."

Dick leans over the book again and starts reading aloud.

"Azarath entities cannot stay outside of Hell for a longer period of time without exposing themselves to irreversible loss of power and annihilation of their physical body, therefore in order to contact the beings on the surface

they use Metrion - a Sanctuary between worlds. It's a no man's land, a pocket dimension in which mortals and supernatural beings can interact with each other without the consequences of being outside their own realm."

"So that's what Constantine was talking about." Bruce deduces, holding his chin and frowning. He wants to say something else, but Kory cuts in on him.

"Hold on, I don't get it. Last time Trigon was here, there were no consequences."

"Maybe he wasn't here long enough to experience them." Gar points out, glancing at her. "The whole thing lasted less than a day. It doesn't explain the part of his arrival though. Rachel pulled him out of a mirror. He didn't need to use _this_." he points at the book, then turns his eyes back on Dick's face. "And he planned on staying. What changed? And how is Rachel supposed to help him this time? Does this book say anything about that?"

Dick comes back to the text and continues reading.

"To open the Sanctuary, one must go to a place that is or once was consecrated and, using their own blood, paint the three symbols on the altar wall or floor - Azarath, the symbol of the tenth circle; Metrion, the symbol of The Sanctuary and Zinthos, the symbol of the world of the living. Then one has to pronounce their names aloud from left to right. The portal emanating white light should open in the air."

"Please tell me that the mention of blood is just a finger prick, not… you know, a human sacrifice or something." Gar speaks in a strained voice, his face so pale that his bright green hair appears almost neon in contrast with it. Dick pats him comfortingly on the shoulder.

Donna comes to stand next to him and folds her arms over her chest.

"So this time around he can't leave Hell and she has to meet him halfway. She must have really kicked his ass if he can't use the mirror trick again."

There's pride ringing in her voice and Dick turns to her to find her smirking. She presses her shoulder to his as a silent offer of support because even if others are clueless about how scared he is right now, she can definitely see right through him. He sends her a small smile of gratitude in return.

"There's something else. We might be short on time because of this." he says then reads the next part of the text, although he feels like he doesn't need to anymore, he had read it already so many times the words are drilled into his brain.

"The Sanctuary can remain open for only a certain amount of time. All beings within should leave Metrion before that time passes, otherwise they will be trapped inside until next reopening."

"How much time are we talking about?" his sister asks, peering over his shoulder. He shakes his head in defeat, glancing at her. 

"I don't know, it doesn't say."

There's a deathly silence falling over them like snow outside the windows after these words. Dick slowly looks up from the book at the faces of his loved ones. Gar is terrified but tries to hide it and stay brave. His hands, though crossed over his chest, tremble. Kory stares at the floor with her eyebrows furrowed, chewing at her lower lip.

"Great." Donna's rather pessimistic voice pierces the silence like a needle through a balloon. "So we have a small time window and we don't even know when she left."

"We can check security footage." Alfred speaks up for the first time since they all gathered here. He gets up from his chair by the table and looks at Bruce. "I'm sure she's smart enough to avoid being caught but maybe there's something there."

"Yes." the man agrees. "Can you go check? Report immediately if you find anything."

"Of course, master Bruce." the butler says then leaves the room in a hurry.

Donna falls on the couch with a sigh and runs her fingers through her hair.

"Let's just hope it's not after the fact anymore."

Gar looks at her and raises an eyebrow.

"Wouldn't we know by now if it were? Either Rachel would be back already or…" he stops for a moment and swallows. "Or Trigon would be raging the Earth, destroying everything in its path. But so far… nothing is happening."

"It's true." Bruce steps closer and places a hand on his grandson's back, giving him a proud smile. Gar's cheeks turn slightly pink. "We still have a chance to find her and stop it. She said she was going to the library, right?"

"That's what John Constantine told her." Diana adds. "Look under the books. So she chose the most obvious place nearby - the Public Library of Gotham Academy. But doesn't this instruction say that the place has to be consecrated?"

"It used to be." After a moment's thought, Dick says, drawing all eyes back on himself. "The building was a church back in the 50s, it was turned into a library after the opening of the Academy in 1961."

"Were there any undergrounds?" Kory asks as she walks over to him. There is the same worry in her eyes that must be written on his face. "Remember - he said _under_ the books."

"The library has archives in the basement where the entrance to the tunnels should be." he remembers when he starts pacing the room, lost in thought. "Rachel must be heading there."

His father approaches him slowly and puts a hand on his shoulder in a comforting gesture.

"Getting there on her own, even with her additional abilities, will take her a long time. Let's track her phone. We can still catch up with her. If we hurry-"

"Hey, guys-" Gar suddenly calls out to everyone. His voice sounds alarming. He leans over the book with a confused expression on his face. "A page is missing here."

Dick is the first to reach him and, following the boy's index finger with his eyes, notices it as well. Bits of yellowed paper hidden in the fold of the book, so small they are barely visible.

"She ripped the page out?" Donna looks over his shoulder.

"No." Dick shakes his head. "The entire instruction is here, Rachel has most likely saved pictures of it on her phone. This-" he points his finger at the ripped pieces of paper. "-happened way before."

Everyone pauses for a moment, wondering what that might mean. Dick's head and heart are in an outright war right now. His heart wants to get out of here as soon as possible, find Rachel and never let her out of his sight again. His mind, on the other hand, reminds him that if he wants to bring his daughter home safe and in one piece, he must focus and make a plan.

"Doesn't it all seem a little weird to you?" Gar's sudden question brings everyone out of their thoughts. They turn to him with puzzled faces while Dick moves closer to him, arms crossed over his chest.

"What do you mean?"

The boy looks uncertain for a moment, but then he straightens his back and raises his head, his eyes sparkling with genius in his mind.

"Well… I have this kind of crazy theory." he starts slowly. "Because it all looks too simple. Think Dick - the great prophecy falls on us like a bolt from the blue, announcing the return of the devil and making Rachel the main tool. It also destroys her gemstone, which is the only thing that kept her powers in check and - let me remind you - the only thing that gave her enough strength to get rid of Trigon the first time. We get a week of silence in which we have time to search for information, then a messenger from Hell shows up with an invitation to a meet-and-greet, tells us where and why. Rachel agrees, convinced that this is her destiny because _the Gem shall be his Portal_ and all that shit."

The cogs begin to turn in his head and he locks eyes with his son. Gar, seeing that he has gotten everyone's interest becomes more confident.

"Go on." Dick encourages him.

"The prophecy - or whatever it was - shows strange symbols on Rachel's body. We _accidentally_ discover that the first is the name of Trigon's homeland, and Rachel _accidentally_ finds a full explanation of how to use them and for what. John shows up telling her she will know what to do as if he was absolutely sure of it, because-"

"Because he knew she would find it." Dick finishes for him breathlessly and his heart starts galloping. "Because that's how it was supposed to be. Rachel got everything she needed on a silver plate, she just had to put it all together."

He goes to the table again and pulls the book closer to him as the events of the last few days flash before his eyes. Now that he thinks about it, everything seems ridiculously easy and obvious. These symbols (seemingly random but having a specific purpose) burning on Rachel's skin as the red moonlight takes over her - the same symbols he noticed earlier in his dream, carved into the wooden crib. The first symbol in the volume Diana got at Oxford. John bringing the news of the meeting, dying before he could say more. _You'll know what to do_ , he said and on the same day Rachel finds the full explanation of all three symbols, completing the list of information she needs.

"Diana, where did you get the books you gifted to Rachel?" he asks, turning to his old friend. The woman blinks, surprised by the question, but then answers.

"A friend from Paris gave them to me at my request."

"And where did that friend get them from?"

"After Rachel came back from Themyscira, I asked the Amazons who are stationed away from home to do some research and find any material about her magic they could so that she can learn and deepen her knowledge. The French faction was one of the first ones to come across any texts, so I accompanied Donna during her stay there to get them." Understanding suddenly floods her face and her eyes grow wide. "You don't think someone interfered with that, do you?"

"And sent you a book containing this particular information, knowing that it will be needed and will definitely be found? We can't rule it out." he tells her, pointing to the book. "Finding one symbol without explanation may have been a coincidence, but this? I don't think so."

"Wait a minute." Kory cuts in, raising her hand to interrupt the ongoing conversation, then stares at Dick. "Are you saying it was all a set up? What about the prophecy?"

"Maybe it's fake." Gar replies instead. "Look, we don't know what happened to Trigon back then in Ohio, except he wasn't killed. And wherever he was since then, he had more than enough time to plan, put a trail and wait for an opportunity. If he couldn't do it himself, for sure he has followers who can do it for him. Remember Adamson and this whole Organization?"

Dick curses under his breath as he realizes something that should have been obvious.

"Adamson was killed, we destroyed the asylum and assumed it was over. But the Organization could very well go beyond this country, the whole world even. They could have their agents hidden anywhere." he looks at Diana. "Paris for example. Or Oxford."

"So how do you explain the red moon?" the woman asks. "Or the destruction of the stone?"

Gar frowns thoughtfully.

"I have no idea about the stone, but the strange thing is that its destruction did not have any major consequences. A small unsteadiness, then everything stabilized and the wound began to heal. Rachel didn't complain about anything. As for the moon… An illusion, maybe? Some ordinary spell, a hoax? Trigon definitely has someone under his hand who wields magic and besides, the Blood Moon, as people now call it, hasn't caused any changes, destruction, or cataclysms, hasn't done anything at all, has it?"

"Yes, absolutely nothing happened." Donna confirms by nodding her head. "We didn't get any news from the rest of the team either." she then turns to Dick. "Actually, where are they? They should be here by now."

"Hank and Dawn are already on their way." he tells her. "And I decided not to drag the kids into it. They know what's going on, but I told them to stay where they are. Rose and Jericho are on the other side of the country and Conner, with his speed, will be here in minutes if needed."

He rests his hands on the table to stop their trembling and takes a deep breath. It's time to act, every second counts. And he has to make the decision.

He steels himself before lifting his eyes up at his team. When he speaks, his voice is strong and confident.

"This is an obvious trap. Trigon is trying to lure Rachel in to take back what he gave her by staging everything up to make her come willingly, convincing her she has no other choice. If Gar's theory turns out to be even partially true, then we don't have much time. But if something had happened already, we would have known about it. "

Kory stands by his side, determination burning in her eyes.

"So what's the plan?"

Their eyes meet and a spark of hope jumps between them. He looks at her gratefully, to which she smiles and puts her hand over his. Dick glances down, then focuses his attention back on the others.

"We're gonna follow her. She turned off the GPS on her phone but there are other ways to track it. We're going to that library and find a way underground. We'll keep searching until we find her. And whatever happens, we'll stop it."

The same expression of determination and readiness to fight appears on every face. They nod, straighten their backs, get ready. Dick smiles approvingly.

"Suit up. We're getting our girl back." he says loud and clear, then leans towards Kory and much more quiet this time he adds: "And then she'll be grounded until college."

* * *

First point of the plan - finding the library - done. Next phase - getting inside unnoticed.

Rachel's breath is taken away at the sight of the building - it's enormous. Built from red brick with white trim, it goes up three stories with the tower rising even higher into the sky. Wide marble steps lead to heavy double doors, and tall, arched windows add to the overall look of an old castle mixed with a Victorian-era haunted house.

Rachel is watching it all hidden in an alley across the street. Entry through the main door is out of the question - they are definitely closed at this hour and besides, there is a camera mounted on one of the columns at the top of the stairs - its flashing red dot of light is clearly visible even from this distance.

"Guess I have to find a back entrance." she mumbles to herself, then reaches for the phone to check the time. It is 7:35 a.m. The sky has already turned gray-blue, the sun will soon appear on the horizon. She must hurry up if she doesn't want the company of locals.

She reads the spell instructions again and repeats everything she knows. Trigon has returned and now he wants to meet her in the magical Sanctuary because he is too weak to come into this world the way he did last time. He wants to take away her power which she will gladly give him if it will ensure the safety of her family. It can be a trap, so she must be ready to defend herself and fight if necessary.

She looks down at her hands and moves her fingers. Streams of black smoke start surrounding them like snakes. She feels their strength, she feels the energy tingling under her skin as if her entire body was filled with pure lightning. Power circulates through her veins with her blood, stimulating every cell in her body. She would be lying if she said she won't miss it. But she'd rather lose her powers than the people she loves more than anything else in the world.

She opens the portal and moves to the clump of trees growing on the left side of the building. Among them there is a metal fence with a locked gate, which is pretty easy to jump over. Metal creaks under her shoes but after a quick look around Rachel finds she still hasn't been discovered.

The back entrance exists but is also closed, which she expected. A faint light is leaking from the small window to the right and as Rachel flies up there to look inside, she notices a security guard sitting at his desk, watching something on the computer screen.

She looks at the windows, walks further along the building and then comes across one basement window that is not secured with a metal grate and instead of the glass, it's closed with half-rotten boards. Rachel smiles triumphantly. She's supposed to go underground, isn't she?

She holds out hee hand and black smoke begins to envelop the boards. She closes her eyes, sensing each nail, and slowly, carefully, without a bit of noise, she takes the makeshift barrier apart. She holds the pieces in the air as she steps through the opening, then puts them back in place as if they had never been moved.

It's completely dark and there is so much dust in the air that she has to cover her face with the hem of her cloak to avoid a coughing fit. Then she takes out her phone and turns on the flashlight to look closely at the interior of the room.

It seems to be an archive. Long rows of shelves filled with books, binders, and boxes, all covered with a layer of dust that dates back perhaps decades. The high shelves form a maze, but Rachel stays firmly ahead.

Somewhere behind the wall she can hear a coughing sound, and she freezes for a moment, listening. The guard, however, doesn't come which she takes with a relief and moves on.

She doesn't notice it at first, but the strange tingling on the back of her neck makes her turn around and take a closer look. The alcove between the two shelves against one wall is stocked with dusty boxes and on the surface everything looks normal, but Rachel feels a strange energy coming from behind it. She begins to put the boxes aside as quietly as she can, only to uncover a door. It's old and wooden, but solid. As soon as she puts her hand close to the brass doorknob, it opens by itself with a squeak of hinges so loud that makes Rachel flinch. She listens again for a minute, but the building is completely silent. And the energy coming from behind the door grows stronger and more intense, it seems to call out to her, to pull her towards it. She flashes the light inside and sees long staircase disappearing deep into the darkness. Rachel bites her lower lip as her heart is about to burst out of her chest. But finally, after hesitating for a moment, she takes a step forward and begins to descend.

* * *

The stairs seem to be endless and the lower she goes, the air gets colder causing chills and goosebumps to cover her entire body. The surrounding walls change from brick to forged from solid rock. Iron sconces for torches start to appear, rusty and covered with cobwebs.

"What is this place?" Rachel wonders aloud, her whisper echoing down the stairs.

Finally, after several minutes she reaches a small, square chamber ending with another wooden door. Here, the mysterious energy is so strong it gives her a headache and the tingling on the back of the neck feels like a swarm of insects. She tries to shake it off, but to no avail. She then puts her hand to the door and pushes it open.

As soon as Rachel crosses the threshold of the room, the torches on the walls light up spontaneously one after another, surrounding the huge room with a circle of white and blue fire. She looks around, eyes wide in astonishment. The ceiling is so high that it disappears in the dark. By each torch stands a statue of a hooded figure in a long cloak, head bowed humbly and hands folded as if in prayer. These figures surround a circular empty space and as Rachel walks in further, she notices that in the center is a mosaic of black stones forming the symbol of Azarath. Looking up she sees a large rectangular block of stone and behind it, lit by two of the brightest torches, stands the largest statue, at the sight of which Rachel steps back, terrified, as a gasp comes out of her mouth.

Two muscular goat legs with hooves instead of feet. Broad chest. Two sets of set eyes and large pointed horns.

Her birth father, in all his monstrous glory, immortalized in stone.

The instruction said that the site for the opening of the Sanctuary must be consecrated. But she hadn't expected John Constantine, while giving her directions, to send her straight to Trigon's ancient temple.

This isn't the time to think about it now. Rachel checks her phone again. It's already after eight. Dick must have noticed her disappearance by now, he must be getting ready to follow her. He's probably furious, scared, maybe disappointed… _Enough. Focus_ , she reminds herself. _You're doing it for him._

She makes her way to the altar and draws a dagger from her sleeve. She hesitates for a moment, but then clenches her fist around the blade and cuts across the inside of his right hand, hissing in pain. Dark red blood, looking black in the torchlight, flows down onto the stone, filling the gouges and cracks. And Rachel, ignoring the pain, gets to work.

Symbols are recreated by her from memory. First, the angular letter S with small diamonds in the loops. Later, a wavy, slightly jagged triangle. And finally a diamond sun with flames going out in all directions.

She takes a step back, admiring her work, then breathes deeply, putting as much strength into her words as she can.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos!"

The entire room starts shaking and the bloody symbols glow such dazzling white that Rachel must look away. As her eyes adjust to the light, she notices that the glow has formed the symbol of Metrion in the air and it begins to grow until it's bigger than the main door to the library. Its edges vibrate and the center is filled with white light.

The Sanctuary has been opened. Rachel just needs to go through the gate.

The room she steps into is smaller than the temple, but also round and carved in rock. Stone columns support the ceiling, but otherwise there are no furniture or other items. Rachel walks in further, the light of the gate behind her makes her shadow lengthen on the floor in front of her, her footsteps echoing in the small space. She stops in the middle and looks around carefully.

Then she hears a clatter, the sound of slow footsteps and she feels a whiff of someone's warm breath on the back of her neck.

"Hello, dear child."

* * *

They meet Hawk and Dove, already in their suits and battle ready in the alley across from the library.

"Okay Nightwing, what's going on?" Hank rushes at him with a question as soon as Dick jumps out of the car.

"Rachel has gone to meet Trigon, which is an obvious trap, but she thinks she's going to save us that way."

"And she went to the library?" Dawn asks, raising an eyebrow skeptically.

"More specifically, under the library." Dick looks between his two friends, seeing confusion deepen in their faces, then sighs heavily.

"Look, there's no time to explain. Trigon wants to take her power and he will kill her for sure. We have to find her and stop it."

Dawn glances over her shoulder.

"How do you know she's here?"

"We tracked her phone." her question is answered by Batman, who walks up to them and stands by his son's side. "Thanks to the surveillance cameras, we know that she left the house after 5 a.m., she reached the city on foot. It's still early, which means we have a chance to find her before the worst happens. We lost her phone signal, so she must be underground already."

The rest of the team gathers around them. Gar in the form of a hunting dog walks around the alley, sniffing the area, then runs up to them and turns back into a human.

"I caught her scent." He says. She was here, less than an hour ago."

Nightwing looks at his wrist to check the time. It's 8:11.

"Okay. The library is now open so there's no way to enter through the main door without getting attention. We don't need an audience, we have to move fast."

"So how do we get in there?" Starfire stands by his side. Her suit shimmers with imperial gold and royal purple, which always takes his breath away, even now. Looking at her, you know that you are dealing not only with a warrior but also with a queen.

"There's an entrance to the security office in the back. It's right next to the archives door."

"How do you know?"

He sends her a mischievous smirk.

"I spent a lot of time around here in high school."

"You were such a diligent student?"

"Something like that."

"Okay, lovebirds." Troya walks up to them and pats them on the shoulders. "No time for flirting. Your daughter is about to summon a demon."

"Right." Dick clears his throat, slightly embarrassed. Kory chuckles softly, but her face grows serious quickly as she looks back at him. "Let's go."

* * *

The guard, at the sight of a large green lion showing its fangs, flutters away in panic, leaving them a free path. Nightwing doesn't even look back as he walks inside, heading straight for the stairs to the archive, with the rest of them following.

The place is as cluttered and dusty as he remembers it. Nothing has changed since he was last here, a few days before graduation.

"Let's split up." he says over his shoulder. The other heroes just nod and disappear without a word between the shelves.

He is almost reaching the far end of the vast room when suddenly Gar's voice is heard somewhere to his right.

"Guys, I found something!"

When they reach him, the green-haired boy is standing in front of the open wooden door showing a staircase leading into the darkness.

"What is this?" Dick asks in amazement and looks at Bruce. "It's not a tunnel entrance. I don't remember it being here."

"This entry isn't on any of the maps either." adds Batman.

"And yet it's here and it goes deep down." Gar replies with a peek inside, then turns to them. "Rachel went down there."

Dick's heart nearly jumps out of his chest.

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely." his son nods solemnly. "I can smell her. It's intense and fresh, she was here quite recently. And the trail goes down."

Dick comes up to him smiling and tenderly puts a hand to his cheek.

"Good job, buddy." he says, full of pride. The boy gives him a small smile in return. "Now let's go."

And he takes first step into the dark, cold depths.

* * *

"Nice little costume you have here, it suits you."

Rachel turns abruptly with a scream dying on her lips and she hurriedly takes a step back, stumbling over her own cloak. Trigon snorts at the sight.

"What, you weren't expecting me?" he asks. "After all, I invited you here."

Breathing hard, Rachel gauges him. She stares him down from head to toe, not believing her eyes.

He looks horribly disgusting. His body is stuck in some intermediate state, which makes him look like a mythical faun. His legs are the legs of a goat - hairy and endowed with hooves, the same as in his demonic form. But from the waist up, he looks like a man - the man she had once pulled out of the mirror in Angela's house. However, his skin is greenish with a tint of gray, wrinkled and dry, paper thin. He is so skinny that she can count all his ribs without any problem and when he takes a step towards her it's a wobbly and unsteady and it clearly takes some of effort.

Trigon notices Rachel watching him and his smile widens to reveal two rows of yellow teeth.

"Ah, you are probably wondering how did your old man end up looking like… what do you kids call them - zombies?" he asks, his voice so sweet that she flinches and looks away. "You see dear… you did this to me."

Surprised, she looks at him again.

"What?" a word escapes her before she can stop herself. Trigon's smile fades, replaced by a frustrated scowl.

"During our little… fight in front of your mother's house, remember?" he speaks softly and begins to circle her slowly, one hand gripping the stone columns. Rachel turns along with him, watching. "When you said genetics is destiny, you exploded in black smoke - which was impressive by the way - and sent me back to that musty hole I'm forced to call home. Remember?"

Rachel frowns, not understanding.

"But how-"

"How?" the demon laughs sarcastically. "Well, I must admit it was a little oversight on my part. See, when I gave you that little ruby you wore on your forehead, it was supposed to give you only a little energy kick so we could be equals. Father and daughter ruling together and all that. But - surprise! - that kick turned out to be a bit too hard and as a result… the student surpassed the master."

He circulates around her all the time, like a predator watching its prey. Rachel starts to get nervous - time is running out, if the gate closes they will both get stuck in here. What the hell is he doing?

"It takes a lot of power to open the gate directly to Azarath without preparation or tools, my dear. Do you know where you got it from? Me. You sucked it out of me and turned me into _this_." he points to his emaciated body, his eyes burning with disgust. "You kicked me back to Hell and it was easier for you than breathing."

"If you want that power back, go ahead." Rachel tells him, putting her hands in front of her as an offering. The cut on her right hand is still bleeding, drops of blood fall to the stone floor of the Sanctuary. "That's why you called me here, right? John Constantine delivered your message and paid for it with his life. My power in exchange for the safety of my family and the world. I came alone, I fulfilled the condition. Take my power, make me a portal to escape wherever you want and let's get this over with. "

Trigon stops mid-step, stares at her and… bursts out with crazy, almost maniacal laughter.

"Portal? Oh, honey, you're not a portal. Your power is enough for me, I can handle the rest. I have to find a new place for myself anyway. This… Tower of yours would do."

Her anger bursts into living fire, her hands clenched into fists.

"You said you'd leave us alone!" she growls through clenched teeth.

"Technically John said that, not me."

"But the prophecy-"

Trigon dismisses her with a wave of his hand and rolls his eyes.

"A prophecy, please. The usual trick of painting the sky red and taking over the body to recite a little poem - we've been doing it since forever. Did they teach you at school about the Delphic oracles? Exactly. Any witch can do it. You would get it too"

Rachel can't believe what she's hearing. She knew it might be a trap, but she hadn't to have her world turned upside down. Tears of anger fill her eyes.

"So it was all a lie." she states, trembling. "It was all just a show, an attempt to get my attention and get me here. You weren't going to keep your word and leave the Earth alone."

Trigon shrugs with an innocent expression, which only adds to her anger.

"My dear Rachel." he sighs with pity. "I cannot give up Earth because I am bound to it now." he walks over to her and takes her face in his hands. His touch makes her feel nauseous. "Thanks to you, my anchor."

She angrily breaks free from his hold and pulls away.

"What are you talking about? What anchor?"

The cynical smirk spreads over Trigon's face again. He steps back and rests his back against one of the columns, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I think it's time for a little lecture." he announces. "Since you got here, it means you did your homework and read the books I sent you."

"The information about this place was in the book I got from Diana."

"Who got it from a friend who got it from someone who got it from _me_." he explains in an impatient tone, bending his long bony fingers backwards one by one in counting. "It was really hard to get those books, especially when you got stuck at the bottom of Hell and you only have morons to do your dirty work. I had to send you the symbols too, otherwise they wouldn't have caught your attention. I hope they didn't burn you."

If she hadn't felt so paralyzed at the moment, she would have thrown her daggers at his throat. But she couldn't move.

"What else, huh? Were those nightmares also your doing?"

"What nightmares?" for the first time, Trigon looks surprised. "Nevermind. Your book told you that I cannot leave Azarath for longer without repercussions, so we must meet here, right?"

"Yes." Rachel confirms carefully, not knowing what he means. "What are you getting at? Why did you call me an anchor?"

The demon pops his tounge at her as if she were a little child who talks too much.

"Why are you in such a hurry? Where was I- ah yes. What the book says is true. It also says that for my permanent stay I need a so-called anchor, a seed of my power that will sprout and flourish, rooting me in another world."

She's starting to get a headache from this overwhelming weight of reveals. Nothing makes sense.

"I haven't seen anything like that im there." she says, confused.

The corner of his mouth twitches again.

"Haven't you noticed that the page was missing?" he asks, raises a hand and there's a torn out page between his fingers. "I decided to keep it and tell you the good news myself."

Rachel walks up to him to grab the note from his hands. She runs her eyes over the text then crumples the paper and tosses it under his hooves angrily. Everything is written there just like he said.

Seeing her fury, Trigon laughs again.

"A little history lesson. In 2004, a group of my devoted followers found out about the anchor's method, and chose a young, poor and naive girl named Angela to be their biggest star. She swallowed everything they told her about me and they brought her here. They practically set us up on a date. By the way - welcome to the place of your conception! It was so romantic, candles and roses- Anyway, the matter is settled, I go back to my place, she goes to hers and the seed grows for thirteen years."

He comes over to her again to stand right in front of her and stares her down.

"You became an anchor when your powers fully manifested. My Organization created a portable version of the Metrion gate from the mirror that Angela kept in her house and you had no idea what you were doing when you pulled me out of it, you were just doing what your long-lost mommy wanted." He pauses for a moment to contain a chuckle. "But I screwed up by giving you the gem. Your power grew more than it was supposed to and it sped up your supernatural puberty. What is it called? Purifcation. Yeah, that's it. Plus you sucked in all my power and your body could barely bear it, couldn't it? Scratches, clouds of razor-sharp smoke, blackouts, anger bursts and all that shit."

What? So it was his fault after all?

"I know you managed to get it under control, which makes me very happy, but then the prophecy of the Destroyer of Worlds went into motion. I must admit that I didn't know about it and it has been around for centuries. And technically I should be dissatisfied with the Purification result - it came out that you are against me after all. That pure, angelic - bleh - piece of my DNA won. But something good came out of it - your body rejected me and my power came back to me."

Rachel looks him up and down again and raises a skeptical eyebrow.

"If it's back then why do you look like this?"

Another heavy sigh comes out of Trigon's lips.

"I have to take it in small doses, like medicine, because taking it all at once could kill me." he explains. "But soon it won't be necessary. I will take your life essence from you so I can absorb the rest of my own magic and leave Azarath once and for all."

"If you think I will let you, you're wrong."

He starts giggling like a madman again, making her furious.

"I'm afraid you will have nothing to say in that matter, my daughter. You will not go against your own father, will you?"

A lonely tear starts rolling down her cheek.

"You are _not_ my father."

"Ah, yeah. I forgot." Trigon taps a finger against his temple. "You found yourself a new daddy. How's Grayson, huh? He got rid of that old bat in the attic already?"

Screaming in rage, Rachel sends a ball of dark energy right at him, but Trigon, despite his ailing body, easily dodges it, laughing.

"Aww that was sweet. Will you do that again? But no, for real. This guy's head was too fucked up, even for me. It's weird that he didn't end up in some kind of psych ward himself. And he is taking care of my baby girl? Yikes."

"Do not call me that!" Rachel screams and sends another ball of energy at him, but Trigon ignores it and lets it fly by and smash one of the statues to pieces. "I am not your daughter! And I'll never be!"

He pretends not to hear her. He only looks at her with hunger and excitement.

"So much power… such energy… amazing."

She wipes away her tears and pulls herself together.

"If you want so much power, why did you destroy my gem? Wasn't it supposed to increase it?"

He looks at her for a moment, specifically the place where the gemstone used to be, then replies.

"You know, this gem, although very nice looking, was only an extra tool. It was supposed to stabilize and direct your power, help you master it, but it's not necessary to use it. It acted like these extra wheels on your bike when you learn to how ride it. I destroyed it because you didn't need it anymore. And to scare you a little. You learned a lot with it, but now it won't be of any use to you, because I am taking it all back. It'll be more useful to me if I'm going to take over your world and so on." his face twists with the most sinister smile she has ever seen. "And you won't survive it anyway."

Before she can figure out what's going on, a huge ball of energy hits her in the chest and sends her through the portal, back to the temple. She falls on the stone floor and the impact causes her to roll over it until her body hits the opposite wall. Everything hurts and she can barely lift herself as a dark beam of power pierces her heart, causing indescribable burning pain. A loud scream comes out of her throat and her body twists like it's going through an electric shock.

"Now you know how it feels." Trigon's voice comes close to her, but she's not able to point the direction. "When someone dries you up and lets you wither."

She struggles to open her eyes. When she finally does, they first fall on her own hand, which now resembles a dead, dry leaf that could crumble under the slightest touch. Every move hurts. Her lungs refuse to take the air in. Her heart cannot pump blood. Rachel feels her life slowly draining away.

Trigon, on the other hand, starts healing. His skin becomes smooth and comes back to a healthy tone. His chest fills up, muscles grow. He takes on the fullness of his human form and lifts his face upward as he relishes in the power drawn from her.

She has no more strength left in her body. Keeping her eyes opened and focused is a chore. She knows the end is near. Trigon says something again, but she doesn't get the sense of his words. All she understands is the tone of his voice that sounds annoyed, almost angry. It doesn't matter to her anymore, she will be dead soon anyway. 

Her thoughts go to her loved ones. She's apologizing to them, thanking them for everything and asking them to never give up. Their faces appear before her eyes. Gar. Kory. Donna. Hank. Dawn. Jason. Rose. Conner. Diana. Bruce. Alfred.

Dick.

She can see him the longest. He's as real as if he was right there. She even thinks she's hearing his voice calling out her name.

And then that voice becomes clearer. Louder. More present. It doesn't sound like a dream or trick of her mind anymore. It takes a lot of effort for her to turn her head towards him, but when she finally manages to do it, the sight she gets is like a rush of adrenaline.

Though her vision is blurred, Nightwing's signature black and electric blue colors can't be confused with anything. He's here. And he brought others. She can see the green outlines of Gar in some big cat's body. Right next to him, Kory in her majestic purple. They all came, and although she didn't want them here, Rachel can't help but feel eternally grateful for their presence.

People worth living, fighting and dying for.

Her family.

She pulls herself together and slowly tries to get up. Her muscles tremble with the exertion, but she props herself up on one arm, then on her elbow, and finally lifts her upper body a few inches up. Her hair obscures her face, but she sees the skin of her hands tighten and smooth, returning to its normal color. All her senses sharpen and energy begins to bubble in her veins. The power begins to come back to her.

Dick growls at Trigon. He's furious, and rightfully so. The demon rolls his eyes in annoyance. Neither of them is paying attention to her at the moment.

"I won't let you touch them." she speaks aloud as she slowly gets to her feet. Both men turn their heads towards her and their eyes widen in shock.

"What?" breaks out of Trigon's mouth. Dick starts smiling.

Rachel straightens her back and lifts her chin high.

"You heard me. I won't let you hurt my family."

Her hand shoots forward and the thread of power connecting her to Trigon begins to change direction of its flow, turning from thick black to blinding white. This time she's the one in full control.

And Trigon starts screaming.

* * *

He is about halfway down the stairs when a bright white light appears somewhere below. A scream that reaches him a second later pierces him like an arrow shot from a bow.

"Rachel!" he shouts and starts running down the stairs two at a time. The rest of his team calls after him to slow down, but he doesn't hear them. Only Rachel matters. She's down there and she's suffering. He's feeling it with every bit of his being as if her pain were his own. As if their bodies and souls were connected, becoming one.

He gets to a small wooden door, the same as the one they found in the archive, and bursts right through it. He doesn't bother looking inside because his eyes instantly go to what's happening. Trigon himself, with his hand outstretched, walks slowly towards Rachel laying curled up on the floor, only a few feet from the entrance. Black energy flows from the demon's stretched fingers and goes straight to her heart - no, it's the other way around. This is her energy that he is pulling out of her.

And Rachel looks like she's about to die any second now. Her body is trembling, her skin turned gray and dry, like a fruit that has been lying in the sun too long. Tears are running down her cheeks and quiet whimpers occasionally come out of her mouth because she's too tired to scream anymore.

The sight makes Dick go blindly furious. He stares at Trigon, who only now notices their presence and his smile fades.

"There was supposed to be no audience!" the demon whines. "Well, since you're here - you can stay and watch." he holds out his other hand in their direction and clenches his fist. "Take your seats."

Some invisible rope tightens around him and pulls him down, forcing his legs to bend beneath him. He has a hard time moving, his ribs are on the verge of breaking. From the sounds of struggle coming from behind him he realizes that the same is happening to others, even to powerful people like Wonder Woman and Starfire. Trigon literally holds them in his hand.

"I'm gonna kill you." Dick growls at him but Trigon just rolls his eyes.

"Yeah, good luck with that."

He takes another step towards Rachel, and she curls into a ball, groaning in pain. Dick feels his every nerve shake with horror and anger.

"If you kill her, I'll tear you apart!"

The demon stops abruptly and slowly turns his face towards him, the smile of a madman slowly blooming on his lips.

"Don't be so dramatic." he sighs, shaking his head. "We both know you won't make it out alive. You know what, Grayson? You looked after my baby girl so well-"

"She's not yours!" he cuts him off, snarling through clenched teeth. The pain becomes unbearable. Trigon ignores him and goes on.

"-that as a reward I will leave you for the end. You'll be able to watch the rest of this group of freaks playing dress up die. Who knows? Maybe you can even help me? If I remember correctly, you enjoyed killing your loved ones."

Dick's eyes go red in furt, his body jerking forward. His body is vibrating with hatred.

"I won't let you touch them."

Dick shifts his gaze to Rachel in a flash, and his eyes widen in astonishment. She began to regain her strength and rose to her feet while they weren't looking. She's now standing with her back straight and stares at Trigon, who is just as shocked.

"What?"

Dick starts to smile, his heart bursts with pride.

"You heard me. I won't let you hurt my family."

She somehow takes control and diverts the flow of energy between her and Trigon, turning it white. Her eyes also become like that - they glow with white light. The demon screams and falls to one knee while the invisible ties around Dick's body slowly begin to loosen. He manages to straighten his back. Then, prop himself up on one leg and slowly rise to a vertical position.

"No." Trigon growls, baring his teeth. "You think I'll let you do it a second time? Stupid girl. You don't know what I'm really capable of yet."

He gets and his face changes. His eyes turn red and a second pair opens on his forehead - looking just like Rachel looked in Dick's first nightmare. He stretches out his hands in front of him, sending tentacles of black smoke that entwine the stream of white light and press against Rachel. The girl grits her teeth and defends herself as best she can, but the scales of victory cannot stay on one side, both of them are too powerful.

Rachel starts screaming in pain again and her knees buckle. Dick wants to run to her, but she stops him with a shake of her head. She tries to get up, but Trigon pushes too hard on her. Dick's heart speeds up rapidly. All he can do is stand and watch Rachel lose her grip and fall to the floor, weak and too tired to get up.

Then he hears croaking.

Dick jerks his head up as the white raven emerges from the shadows, soars over them, and sits on the head of the demon statue across the room, poking his red eyes into him. Its gaze is intense, insistent, as if it was trying very hard to convey some message to him. The bird spreads its wings wide and makes a loud, drawn-out squawk before taking flight again and disappearing somewhere under the ceiling.

"Dick!" someone says his name somewhere behind him. He turns to see Diana, who has also managed to break free from the invisible grip and is now reaching behind her back for her sword. Her fingers tighten on the hilt and she pulls it out of its sheath, then tosses it at him. Dick catches it in the air, his fingers gripping the golden hilt.

"Finish it." she tells him with determination in her voice and steadfast eyes. He nods briefly and turns around.

Trigon continues to push against Rachel, who is in turn trying to counter him, but with great difficulty. She is still on her knees, her hands flat on the stone floor, and her shoulders are trembling vigorously. The demon doesn'tt even notice that Dick is approaching them.

Not until he walks right into a beam of black and white power, serving its connection to Rachel. He hears her scream behind him, pleading with him to stop but there's no turning back now. All this energy is overwhelming and Dick feels like his whole body is breaking down into atoms and getting whole again in a matter of seconds. But his love for her pushes him forward, gives him strength.

"You fool!" Trigon shouts as his eyes fall on the gleaming blade.

Dick grips the sword tighter and holds it up.

"You will never hurt _my daughter_ again." he hisses, giving the demon a hateful look. " _Never_."

And plunges the blade right into his heart.

The light goes out. The beam of energy connecting them disappears and for a few very long seconds there is nothing but complete silence.

And then Trigon's body begins to crack and slowly, as if with a breeze of a light summer wind, it dissolves into ash, the particles whirling in the air like falling snow.

Dick stands still, feeling the fire in his body begin to dim. Fatigue starts to cover him like a warm blanket. His fingers open and Diana's sword clatters to the stone floor. His eyes follow the last flake of ash as it slowly falls down.

"Dick?"

He turns around. Rachel awkwardly stands up from the ground, her eyes focused on his face. She's pale and exhausted, but in one piece. Tears shine in her eyes and her lips stretch into a smile as she takes a step towards him.

And it's this most beautiful, wonderful and dearest to his heart smile that is the last thing he sees before the world turns black.

* * *

"Dick? DICK!"

As he collapses unconscious to the floor, Rachel feels as if the ground is bursting under her feet. Everything happens in slow motion. She lunges at him, falling to her knees, and though she's feeling weaker than ever before, she uses whatever strength she has left on her to flip his body so he can lie on his back and begins to shake him by the shoulders.

"Dick, what's going on?" she asks and her voice breaks. "Can you hear me? Wake up!"

Others gather around her. She feels someone's gentle hands on her and a moment later Kory's soft voice echoes in her ear, asking if she's okay, but Rachel pays no attention to her, staring into her father's closed eyelids.

Dawn kneels on the other side of him, rips the glove of her suit off her hand and presses it against his neck, her face twisting with consternation.

"I can feel the pulse, but it's weak." she says quietly, then lifts his eyelids, her eyebrows frowning even more.

Rachel is watching it all with dread growing in her chest.

"Dawn, what's wrong with him?"

The blonde looks at her helplessly.

"I… I don't know."

Kory's fingers tighten on her shoulders. The pressure isn't intense, but her body reacts with pain anyway. She's tired and scared, unable to hold back the tears that run down her cheeks and fall onto his chest as she leans over him, taking his face in her hands.

"Dick, please." she whispers, closing her eyes. "Dad, wake up."

As many times before, she evokes a delicate, warm energy from within her. She orders her hands to shine with a bright purple glow and breathe strength into his body, merge his cells, repair what's broken.

But nothing happens. Absolutely nothing.

Rachel looks at her hands as if they belong to someone else.

"Rachel?" Kory asks carefully.

"I-" she stops because the words won't come out of her throat. "I can't. I can't heal him."

She tries again. She puts her fingers to both of his temples and squeezes her eyes shut, trying to focus as hard as possible. She's aware that it gets crowded around her as the entire team gathers around her, but ignores it. Only Dick matters. Rachel calls out to the depths of her soul, trying to pull the healing light out of there, but only comes across a void. It's as if she ran to the beach, expecting to see the ocean and found only a desert burnt by the sun. Where once there was a spring, now there's just dry sand.

"Come on." she growls, tilting her head. "Wake up. _Heal_."

She's done it so many times and now she has to do it too. But her efforts bring her nothing but a growing headache. Why is she failing now?

Helpless sobs tear from her chest when Kory puts her arm around her and gently pulls her away from Dick.

"Honey, you're tired. You'll try again at home."

Rachel breaks away from her, shaking her head, and takes his hand in hers.

"No. I- I have to- I have to heal him. He needs to wake up."

This time she tries peering into his mind but just like before nothing happens. She squeezes his hand tighter, presses it against her forehead, but still nothing.

Then it gets to her.

Nothing happens because there is nothing in her.

She stares at her hands again, moves her fingers, trying to summon the black smoke, but without success. She can't do _anything_.

"My powers." Rachel gasps and looks up at Kory, who looks just as terrified and confused. "They're gone."

* * *

Two hours after they return to Wayne Manor, Doctor Lynn arrives with her entire staff. They turn the Batcave into what looks like an intensive care unit and Rachel can only stand and watch as they remove Dick's suit, stick countless electrodes to his bare chest, puncture his arms with needles and cover his face with an oxygen mask. One of the doctors approaches her and asks to check her over as well but she quickly pulls away, shaking her head. She's not the one they should worry about, Dick should be their main priority. Only at the urging of Kory, who doesn't leave her side, Rachel allows them to check her temperature, shine a flashlight in her eyes and ask her a few simple questions. After finding that, apart from being extremely exhausted, nothing is wrong to her, they leave her alone.

Dr. Lynn and Bruce talk in low tones for several minutes and then he walks up to them to say they all need to leave the room now. Rachel instantly refuses.

"I'm not leaving him." she says boldly, straightening her back. "I don't want to."

But she has no choice. Bruce is understanding but firm. He puts one arm around her and promises her that if anything happens, they will know about it. As he leads her to the elevator door, Rachel turns to look at Dick once more, but at this point Dr. Lynn pulls the curtain, separating her from him.

Hours pass before they get any diagnosis. All his vital functions work perfectly except for one - brain activity, which is close to none. Enough to keep him alive, but nothing else.

"For now, we have to keep an eye on it, monitor the changes and wait."

Later, Dr. Lynn asks about what happened. After hearing the whole story, she concludes that the cause of his coma may be exposure to the energy flowing between Rachel and Trigon. Dick walked right into the stream, it must have had some effect on him.

Rachel feels a rock settling at the bottom of her stomach, dragging her down. She can't chase away the thought that it's all her fault.

They finally let her see him. Rachel rushes over to him, sits down in the chair by the bed and takes his hand, pressing it against her cheek. Feeling his fingers touching her face she begins to cry again and lunges at him, pressing her face against his chest. She has the illusion of hoping he'll lift his arm, hug her and squeeze her tight but Dick remains motionless.

She stays with him until late night hours. Different people come in and out and try to talk to her, but she doesn't feel like talking. Gar brings her a plate of food, but she only forces herself to eat it when her hunger becomes unbearable.

As she begins to get drowsy and her head grows heavy, a large, rough but gentle hand rests on her shoulder.

"You should go to bed, my dear." Bruce whispers to her, leaning over her with a gentle smile. "You've had a long, intense day."

Rachel wants to protest but he won't let her.

"Don't worry. I'll take the night watch. If anything happens, I'll let you know."

She doesn't want to leave Dick, but she doesn't want to argue with Bruce either and something tells her that it's not just about her tiredness, she sees it in his eyes. Just as she wants to spend every possible moment with her father, Bruce also wants to spend some time with his son. She can't refuse him that, so she stands up, gives a gentle kiss to Dick's forehead and goes back to her room.

She is about to walk in when soft sobbing sounds reach her ears from across the hallway. Rachel slowly turns to find the door to Dick's room ajar and light leaking from the crack. She steps closer and opens it slowly.

On the edge of the bed she finds Kory with her face hidden in her hands. Her body is shaking from crying. Rachel walks over to her and sits down at her side, hugging her and resting her head on her shoulder. Only then she notices that Kory is holding a small black box in her hands.

"What's that?"

The woman sniffs, wipes her face, and hands her the item. Rachel opens it carefully and as her eyes see what's inside, she lets out a quiet gasp.

A gold ring set with diamonds and a large teardrop-shaped purple amethyst. It's beautiful. A small sticky note is attached to the inside of the lid in a well-known handwriting.

_My brightest star._

Dick was going to propose.

"Kory…" she whispers and looks up at her. The woman smiles back through her tears.

"I guess he was planning it for today." she says. "New Year's Eve, perfect occasion. I just wish that…"

She stops, her face twisting in a sad grimace again as a new wave of tears threatens to come. Kory takes a deep breath and picks up something that until now has been hidden from Rachel's eyes on her lap.

"There's something else you should see." she says, giving her what looks like a bundle of documents. "I told him he was waiting too long. Let's hope he gets to have another chance."

Rachel frowns, not understanding what she's talking about, then opens the folder - and freezes. Staring at the headline, she holds her breath. She can barely read the contents of the document because her eyes are getting hazy with fresh tears. Her lower lip begins to tremble.

"He… he wants to- adopt me?"

"You and Gar." Kory confirms and a sad smile returns to her face. "He's been planning this for months. He wanted to ask you at Christmas Eve dinner."

The stone in Rachel's stomach is letting her know of it's presence again. _And I ruined it all._

She looks up. Kory places a hand gently on her shoulder, and when Rachel can no longer hold back her tears, she pulls her closer.

They both break down into each other's arms, shedding heavy tears as the clock strikes twelve and the sky above Gotham lights up with colorful fireworks announcing the arrival of the new year.

* * *

* * *

Again, he's surrounded by an impenetrable thick black darkness. It's everywhere, goes on forever, there are no defined limits or edges. Dick spins around, expecting to see something, anything that would tell him what the dream might be about. Because it has to be another dream, right? Just like the previous ones. The last thing he remembers is Trigon turning to ashes and Rachel's smiling face. And then-

"What have you done." a deep, melodic voice echoes somewhere behind his back. Dick turns and immediately takes a step back. The white raven stands right in front of him, staring at him, its eyes even more human than usual.

"Did you just-"

The bird shakes its head and raises its feathers.

"You really don't know how to read signs, do you?"

Yes, it's definitely the bird talking to him. Apart from the two of them, no one else is here.

A wave of anger floods Dick's chest.

"What are you- signs? What's going on here? Is this another fucked up dream? I don't want to see it. Wake me up. Now."

"I'm afraid it's not that simple."

"What?"

"Sit down." the raven orders him. "There is a lot to explain."

Something in that voice makes Dick obey the bird's request without protest. He sits down on the ground and crosses his legs, then stares at his companion.

"Now talk. First of all, who or what are you?"

"Trigon might have been born from darkness, but he's still a Divine Being. I am a mere peace of what made him Divine. I am a manifestation of that essence in it's purest form, not tained by evil. A piece Trigon has passed down to his child. "

It's a bit confusing at first, but there's no doubt he's dealing with something celestial here. And they did find out that Trigon used to be an Angel.

Dick nods shortly, pressing his lips into a thin line.

"Okay, now explain what were those dreams you showed me. Because that was you, right?"

The bird nods. It's deeply disturbing human it can be, from speech to body movements.

"Yes, it was me. They were warnings that you apparently didn't understand. Or you just simply ignored them."

Dick looks at him closely, scrutinizing him and trying to understand what the hell is going on here. The white raven looks back at him with ease, totally unbothered.

"Right." he snorts. "By tearing out the gem, you wanted to tell me that it would get destroyed? Yeah, very helpful and totally obvious."

The animal doesn't even react to his comments.

"Bravo, you figured it out." it declares after a moment in a tone washed of emotion. "A little too late though."

He is _really_ trying not to lose his patience.

"And the second dream? A baby, my own daughter and I can't even hold her? What was that supposed to mean?"

The raven stares at him motionless for a few seconds before answering.

"Don't interfere."

Dick raises his eyebrows in surprise.

"What?"

"You heard. The fact that you couldn't hold the baby meant that you cannot interfere in her actions."

Dick, increasingly frustrated, runs a hand over his tired face and sighs heavily.

"So I was just supposed to let Rachel die? Is that what you wanted?"

"No." the bird shakes its head. "Rachel wouldn't have died."

His fists clench at his sides, his anger is close to erupting.

"It didn't look that way from my point of view." he hisses back, his voice dangerously low. "Enough of your games."

The white raven has the audacity to roll its eyes at him. Then it begins to walk back and forth like a professor during a lecture.

"The dreams I showed you were meant to warn you to let events go as fate planned it." it begins to explain. "By Purification, Rachel became more powerful than Trigon thanks to pure Divine energy that was isolated in her, with no trace of the darkness her body had cast off. Trigon, in his weakened state, was unable to take that darkness back either, but he ignored it and tried anyway. The truth is, such power would kill him and then return to its one and true master - Rachel. Even without the jewel she would be able to carry it and use it. It was all going to happen… until you intervened."

Dick can't tear his eyes off the white feathered bird, trying to process it all, put it all together in his head. A lot of things don't make sense, but the pieces are slowly starting to fit to one another like puzzle.

"What happened back there?" he finally asks softly, feeling his anger dissolve, replaced by curiosity and fear. The raven pauses for a moment, then comes closer to him and jumps on his left knee.

"You went straight into a stream of power between them, pure untamed energy." it replies. "You broke the connection with Rachel, and all that energy instead of going to her - went to you. But you are a mortal, your body is not made to bear such power. You should be dead, share the fate of the demon."

"How am I still alive then?" he whispers, shocked. He can't wrap his head around it no matter how much he's trying.

"Partly thanks to her." the raven speaks after a moment of thinking. "Your souls are connected in a way older than the universe. This, combined with Rachel's will to keep you alive at all cost, helped you survive this. I merely put your body into a state of hibernation, keeping it from falling apart."

Dick blinks in confusion, not sure if he heard it right.

"Hibernation? Wait, if I'm- what about Rachel? Please tell me she's alive."

"Rachel lives." the bird quickly confirms what Dick takes in great relief. Unfortunately the creature's next words shatter this momentary peace. "But she is powerless. She has become a mortal."

A wave of terror rises within him like water in a river in a pouring rain. It drowns him, drags him to the bottom, doesn't let him breathe. Rachel… powerless? It doesn't make her completely vulnerable, but it certainly makes her much weaker. She must be scared, confused, probably doesn't know what to do… and he's stuck _here_.

Which is _where_ exactly? He doesn't know.

He leaps to his feet, forcing the white raven to fly up in the air. It flaps its wings and rises to the level of his eyes.

"You have to do something." Dick demands, bringing his face closer to the bird's. "You have to somehow give her that power back. She needs it."

"Unfortunately, I can not." the raven announces and gets a little higher. "But you can."

And flies away.

"Hey wait!" Dick calls out and starts running after it. But the bird is incredibly fast and although he gives his best, forces his legs to sprint so hard that his muscles start to burn him, he can barely catch up with it.

A shape begins to loom on the horizon, but from this distance Dick can only see a blur of color. And it looks like the raven is headed there. After a while, Dick begins to see details. A wooden frame. Decorative grooves. Golden door handle.

It's a door. A door in the middle of nothing. And the white raven just sat down on top.

He slows down and stops a few feet in front of it, panting. The bird looks at him without saying anything.

"What do you mean?" he asks as his breathing returns to normal. "How can I do it?"

The red eyes of the creature glisten like two rubies.

"Rachel had lost her spark. It's inside you now so you have to be the one to reignite it."

"But how?" he asks desperately.

The door opens suddenly with a creak of hinges, revealing nothing but blinding white light from which Dick must cover his eyes. It's so sharp that it's impossible to look at it directly. But there's something else - he can feel a breath of fresh, cool air on his face.

The white raven flies up into the air again, but only to sit on Dick's shoulder. Their gazes cross for a moment and a thread of understanding forms between them. Dick already knows what he has to do and approaches the door.

As he takes the first step to the other side, the creature's voice comes to his ear.

"The only way forward is back." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DUN DUN DUN!!!!
> 
> *checks the mic*
> 
> EKHM!
> 
> So, I wanna thank you for all the support on this story and in general. I see every comment, I read them multiple times smiling like an idiot even when someone is simply keysmashing their excitement. This story was sometimes incredibly hard to write, especially towards the end but it was also fun and challenging and really fucking awesome. I'm really proud of it. I hope I didn't create any plotholes, hehe. I found one whilw writing and I got rid of it but the panic attack I got... Damn. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask them here in the comments or drop them in my Tumblr inbox. 
> 
> And... 
> 
> Part 3 of The White Raven series - REIGNITION - comes out later this year.
> 
> But first I have to write it 😅

**Author's Note:**

> SO?  
> Who's excited?  
> I'm excited.  
> I know this was a bit short and kinda an infodump but I wanted to paint a clear picture of where Dick is mentally at this point in the story and why this nightmare felt weird for more reason than just being outwardly creepy. This is only the beginning, I promise.  
> SEE YA NEXT TIME!


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